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Question that may bother some so in advance Sorry
Ok, I have this question that has always bothered me.
I don't understand how someone could say i had an unplanned pregnancy. This is what i mean. If you aren't using protection of any kind and having unprotected sex what do u think the outcome will be?
To the ones who use something and it doesn't work I'm not referring to them
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question that may bother some so in advance Sorry
I don't get it either. If someone didn't want to get pregnant, then they should have used protection, but that's just my opinion. Maybe it means they didn't plan to not get pregnant?
BFP #1 - BFP #2 - Blog
and Luck to my BFPB StephK!!- Emma is here!!
its just a question. I would like to hear opinions on it to help me understand the reasoning.
I agree, I mean common sense says if you don't use protection you have a chance of getting pregnant. I've never understood why people ask was it a planned pregnancy when they aren't using protection.
Eating lunch and just choked. That was some nerve to ask who the father is.
I don't understand what there is to understand?
Have you never made a decision that you didn't all the way think through the consequences. I am guessing it happens kind of like that.
I hope your quest for understanding it to help you to approach this with a little less of a judgemental tone just because are "planning" your pregnancy.
BFP 3/17/10 Missed M/C Confirmed 4/12/10
MIF+Unexplained DX Feb 2012: Femara+Trigger+IUI=BFP
Yep, I never thought much about this until I was actually pregnant, and people started with 'oh was it planned' and 'were you trying?' Now when it's my friend asking that, no big deal. But random people I work with or barely know, it was annoying!
No offense, but you are obviously very ignorant about many things.
My daughter was not planned but I will not explain to you why/how I had her b/c it obviously doesn't matter to you. It seems like you are definately starting drama for no reason at all. I can tell you many ladies don't plan their pregnancies. Why should you judge them?
Oh and... I am certainly not a "fertile" and that just shows ignorance on many levels.
I agree. I think it is rude when someone asks "Was the baby planned?" I mean, really.
As for asking if she knew who the father was, that was WAY uncalled for.
BFP #1 - BFP #2 - Blog
and Luck to my BFPB StephK!!- Emma is here!!
This. I have now been on both sides..and although i could punch myself for not being 100% when i found out i was PG i now appreciate it more than ever.
I'm not being judgmental that is the reason I said sorry in advance. I did not want to offend anyone. I just don't understand it. It's my opinion and I was wondering if other people thought the same thing. Yes, I have made decisions where I haven't thought of with consequences, but to me a child isn't something to take lightly. Like I said, I didn't mean to upset anyone.
A lot of times ignorance, stupidity, thoughtlessness, and/or an invincibility complex leads to an "unplanned" pregnancy. Simple as that.
I'm amused by a lot of the responses. I think the OP could've worded the question better and quotation marks may have helped with reading comp, but I wonder if some of the responses would've been less bristled with a different post title.
First off I am not ignorant. I have common sense. You generally have only one outcome if you do NOT use protection form getting pregnant and the answer is PREGNANT. I didn't ask you to explain why your daughter wasn't planned. I don't care why or how...I am not starting drama. I asked a question and if you read the post I said Sorry to those who might take it the wrong way like evidently you have. I'm also not judging anyone. I said that I don't understand how a pregnancy can be unplanned if you are taking preventative measures. Also I said that this has nothing to do with the ones who was using some sort of preventative method and got pregnant.
Saying your sorry in advance doesn't negate a judgemental tone, just FYI.
You didn't upset me, but I would hope you really aren't so obtuse that you don't "understand" how it happens.
I didn't say that a child wasn't something to take lightly, but I imagine people who have unprotected sex and aren't TTC are not thinking all the way through the consequences of their actions, for whatever reason (naive, intoxicated, whatever the reason).
Edit: missing word: not
BFP 3/17/10 Missed M/C Confirmed 4/12/10
MIF+Unexplained DX Feb 2012: Femara+Trigger+IUI=BFP
OK, 1st- off the damn soap box. 2nd-Not every woman has access to resources and knowledge like others do. 3rd-people make mistakes.
And how can you think you are not being judgmental with a statement like that. I never took having a child lightly. WTF is that suppose to mean? Like when I got pregnant at 21, I actually said... "oh, it's just a baby... no biggie". Are you serious!?
Wow now i feel offended! I do not take that lightly i knew it might happen and I knew that if it did i would take that responsibility. Just because u don't plan to get PG doesn't mean u love that child any less. Yes, i was afraid of how DH and i would handle being teen parents but i think we did a great job. We love our son and we never went out partying. We both got jobs and supported ourself with minimal help from our family. He always had clothing and food and more importantly LOVE!
If/when I am blessed with another child(planning this time) I know i will love him just as much as DS not more or less because he was planned. FYI i do NOT take my child lightly.
I was actually trying to be nice and explain that to u but i seems u don't care for reasoning.
I think it is just a poor wording issue. Most people who have unprotected sex are aware of what could happen, they just don't think it will happen to them.
I call my last BFP a "surprise". Doesn't mean I wasn't well aware that we were doing everything to get pregnant, just didn't think it was likely to happen.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
This is the judgmental part. Who cares? I can tell you that I have never depended on anyone but my husband (and at the beginning, our parents) to take care of our child. In that case... why must you understand this notion if you never plan on being in this predicament since you obviously do not have faults.
I agree. Even though we all obviously know you're able to get pegnant without protection, it is possible to forget the consequences in the heat of the moment. Also keep in mind that not everyone charts or understands their cycle and may incorrectly think they're not likely to be pregnant because it's not day 14 of a 28 day cycle. I think - and I'll be honest here - that some people here get a little high and mighty about their charting and forget that not every woman has been enlightened by TCOYF.
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
I responded to your post "huh" because I didn't understand it. Since ImaPanda clarified it, I am still unsure of your position and if this is a blanket statement?
DD was an unexpected surprise, I wouldn't call her unplanned, though we weren't planning for her at that moment. We tried for months before TTA due to life circumstances. I consider her nothing short of a miracle and I am obviously not having an easy time ttc #2.
I am not offended by your opinion, but a little confused by the point of the post? I mean, who cares?
I get what the OP is trying to say, but you can't think of someone's unplanned pregnancy with the same logic you are going about trying to have you planned pregancy.
Sure, logic tells anybody, even the careless 16-year-old (I'm just throwing out one example there), that having unprotected sex will lead to pregnancy. But, that doesn't take into account the 16-year-old with the I'm-exepmt-from-all-that-stuff complex, or the the one night stand where lots of judgement-impairing alcohol causes both parties to forget, or even the married couple who normally uses protection but get caught up in the moment one night and think one time surely won't be it.
Logic and common sense just don't always play a role.
I wasn't meaning it like that. I understand that things happen. I was definitely not referring to you either. I was just asking a general question that Lina1123 blew out of the water. All I was meaning was if two people have sex the outcome can be a baby that is all. I do not judge anyone for an "unplanned pregnancy" Maybe the word unplanned isn't the correct word. I never meant to imply that u loved your child any less. I just don't understand the reasoning when people say no i didn't use any kind of protection and I don't know how I got pregnant. That was all. Im truly sorry if I offended you.
This exactly! This is what I think of when it is "unplanned". To me "planned" is doing what all us are doing here...and Unplanned is just having sex and if it happens and you weren't necessarily planning it, then it was unplanned.
This is just something I am so sick of hearing. Like I said in my earlier post. Why would you care? And you obviously knew it would offend some b/c of the disclaimer in your title. Listen, I am not at all trying to be rude. I have a tendancy to be very matter of fact. And I have to say... you are now trying to undo what you said and that's expected. But just so you know... not a very smart things to discuss. It's very insensitive... especially for us experiencing secondary IF.
I should have been more specific in what I meant. All I was wondering was had anyone ever thought that? Whether you are 16 or 66 when how or why it happened wasn't what I was asking. I do understand the some things just happen and not all things are planned, again I am not ignorant. To those who was nice and explained what happened to them THANK YOU. It helps me look at things different . Maybe the post could have been worded different and again IM SORRY to the ones I offended
THANK YOU!!! that is exactly what I meant. I worded wrong and it went in the opposite direction then what I had intended. Some people just say they had no idea how it happened. Thank you for understanding.
I find this a very interesting statement on a board where half the women have been having unprotected sex for months without getting pregnant. So, really, that's an untrue statement. So, you can see where in certain circumstances, a couple practicing "unsafe" sex might not expect to get pregnant.
Im not trying to undo anything. You took it the wrong way, hence I said sorry because I figured some people would. I am sorry you are experiencing secondary IF. It wasn't to upset anyone. Like Niceybee05 said it best. I am guessing u are referring to ppl who claim they don't know how it happened. That is what i meant and I should have worded the words better and explained a little more.
Yea. This is much better stated. Thanks for the apology as well. It's hard on a public message board, that's why I commented initially on it. Good luck next time when bringing something like this up again.
First off what the hell is your problem ... there isn't a need to be rude