I'm losing it..what IS this?
so i had mt 4 m wakeful or whatever its called post below...but really, i'm frustrated....L will wake up and not cry but whine and grunt...and he just cant get back to sleep...i try to rock and walk but nothing and by then he's screaming....and the thing that kills me is we started putting him "down" earlier...(also because the SAHM board fried me for saying i keep L up til 9ish)...and he is tired at 730-8 but he wakes at 12...
ok so (let me focus...) i give him 7 oz at his "nighttime" bottle which is his 730/8 bottle...when he wakes at 12 he shouldnt be hungry (shd he?) i give him 5.5 oz like all his other feedings...so should i wait and give him 7oz at midnight? let him sleep in the living room and put him "down" at midnight...
(he wont be up that whole time- he just wont be "in' bed..he'll sleep in his pnp in the lvng rm)
ok i know im rambling but im so tired....thoughts? (and dont get me wrong- i dont expect him to sttn- i just want a little longer stretch for the both of us)
Re: I'm losing it..what IS this?
First - there are a bunch of b!tches on SAH...it's like the BOTB board. Both my kids go to bed at 9 (sometimes Evan is in at 8:30)...this is what works for our family. Yeah - if you have to get the kids up for daycare at 6am - then they should go to bed early. My house does not usually stir until 8:30. They must like getting up at 7am - I sure don't....plus DH wants more time with them after work. Yikes, that made me mad.
Anyway...
This is what I do/have done for E&L...I think it makes a difference - but they are also good sleepers. Not sure how he is sleeping right now, but if it were me I would set L up in his own bed, dark room, white noise machine, angelcare motion monitor and on his belly. Obviously - all parents do things differently- it is kind of a personal choice, really. I don't think he should be hungry at midnight...but it's really hard to tell.
Do you start him off in his crib or in the livign room PNP? I'm confused by what you wrote on that....just asking because when DD wakes up, I never take her out of her room no matter how long she is up-DH used to and it drove me crazy-once we leave her room, she thinks its time to be awake, and it isn't. So now when she wakes up, we stay in her room and deal with everything there. She went through a few phases where she would be up several hours during the night adn I have no idea why. Usually they end up with me nursing her back to sleep after trying everything else possible. It's very hard to tell when they're hungry and when they're not. Shes almost 11mos and still wakes most nights to eat....
Here are my rambling thoughts. Take of them what you'd like.
Is he full out screaming when he wakes up at midnight, or just fussy/whiney? You could try to hold out for a few minutes to see what he does - maybe he'll go back to sleep on his own, maybe not. If he does want you, don't leave his bedroom - this may help him to get the message that it's time to sleep, not play.
As for when to get him to bed - go with his cues. However, when you do put him down for the night, put him in his own crib. That also can send the message that it's time to sleep, and if he's waking up in another room than he initially fell asleep in, it may weird him out.
Another thought - maybe 7 oz. is too much and he's not comfortable?
Also, go with Telyco's advice - same routine, white noise machine, belly sleep if you have to and are comfortable doing it. I never did the belly sleeping at night because it freaked me out, but did it for naps when he was that age - he slept so much better that way.
When I talked to you before I told you my baby is usually never down by 7 or 8pm. One of the books I am reading actually says to keep them up till nine or ten at this age in order to get them to sleep through the night. The baby has been going to sleep at 9pm the last couple of nights and sleeping until 4:30 and then DH feds her and changes her and she goes back to sleep till about 7:30 then her and I hang out and take a nap in the am, If 9pm is working for you I would say stick with it. Like Telyco said you don't need to get him up early like 6am or 7am to be somewhere so I say let him go to bed at nine and then he will sleep later in the am. Do whatever works best for you.:) Don't worry about others judging your routine because you know what works best for you and your little one.
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time with the sleeping!! And I'm not sure I really have advice, but thought I'd tell you Dylan's routine in case there's something you could try differently. You mentioned that someone on another board said you were putting your LO down too late. I feed Dylan around 5:30 am since I work and still don't put him to bed until around 9:30 or so. However, we have been feeding him aound 7:00 (ish) and then he always takes a nap before I feed him the last time before bed. Maybe it sounds silly but it seems to work. So, he eats, takes a nap and then I wake him up to feed him one last time. And then he goes right down again for the night.
Dylan sometimes does that fussy grunting thing too (usually around 5:00 am) but I always try first to keep him in his bassinet and soothe him before taking him out. A pacifier almost always works, but obviously requires me to have to keep giving it to him.
I think I would try to keep him up a little later since he is still young. I've actually been thinking about trying to get Dylan to bed at more of a decent hour now that he's 5 months old, but I'm not rushing it.
Good luck!!!
Oh, and you said he's normally tired around 7:30 or 8:00 so maybe have him take a nap at that time??? And then feed him one last time when he wakes up? I actually wake Dylan up around 9:30 if he's still sleeping in his swing cause I need to get to bed!!
Some babies sleep young and some don't. I was driving myself nuts seeing all those STTN posts on 0-3. She didn't sleep until we broke down at 5 months and did CIO. Until then she wasn't asleep for the night until 11pm/midnight. Woke at 3 or 4 to eat. And then up for the day at 7am. I think I never noticed the 4 month wakeful because she was just always awake anyway haha.
I swaddled, rocked, swung, bought the stupid sea horse, binky, whatever. The only time I got any extended sleep was when I broke down and made DH do the midnight feeding and I went to bed right after the 9pm feeding. I didn't do it often because I was worried about my supply doing that. But occasionally it was great.
So basically I know you all want to sleep. But until that happens, have DH grab a night feeding and recharge yourself.
Eve went to bed between 11 and 1 for a LONG LONG time. and then after that her bedtime was 11.. So 11 was probably her bedtime when she was about 4 month.. its hard to remember.
You have to do what works for YOU.. 9 (or 11, or 12) isn't a late bedtime if he sleeps just as long at night.. ya know? There is nothing wrong with it.. so if its easier for you to let him sleep in the living room from 8-11 and then do "bedtime" at midnight.. then do that! But if you want to be in bed before that, its probably not gonna work for you, ya know? Then he'll let you know when he's ready to go to sleep earlier.. Eve has moved her bedtime earlier.. it was 11, then 10, and now a lot of nights she is done by 9ish.. last night she fell asleep on DH at 8:15 and basically slept straight through til 8:30 this morning.
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
first off {hugs}, the no sleeping period is hard no matter how it is dealt to you. hang in there
secondly, don't listen to anyone else. I hate when moms "fry" other moms for doing something that works for them. No baby is alike. You know your child better than anyone else. If a later bedtime works for you, then that is what you do. It would be one thing if your child was clearly tired and restless and you were keeping him up "just because," but that is not what you are doing. I would love it if my kids went down a little later for bed and slept in a little later, but that was just never in the cards. They just get tired early.
I have a few suggestions and just take them as you like.
With my kids, being consistent with bedtime really worked for us. (i.e putting down around the same time each night, having a bedtime routine, putting them down in the same place each night). Does he sleep the whole night in the PNP? Could you try putting down for bed in his crib?
I also agree with PP that if it is just a wimper, maybe try waiting a bit before going in there. He might surprise you and put himself back to sleep.
Both my kids are tummy sleepers. With Bella I had no idea that the Angel Care monitor existed, and if I did I would have bought it a long time ago. I always noticed that Joseph slept better for naps when he was on his tummy on the couch next to me, so I finally decided to buy the Angel Care monitor so I could put him down to sleep at night without worrying. He would sleep for much much longer stretches on his belly. Bella started sleeping better thru the night once she was able to flip on her belly to sleep.
Good Luck!
thanks ladies- I read through my post and your replies- I appreciate it..but some points to clear up because my first post was kind of all over the place..
a) Lorenzo sleeps in bed with us- and has since birth- he was in the snuggle nest but he would wiggle out- so we have a space for him in the middle...
b) when he starts to fuss- I/Dh replce the paci and sometimes that does soothe him but recently he will "shake his head" and try to roll away from it- we do a hand lay- a loud shhhhhing- and if he really looses it we take him to the rocker or change his diaper and then try to rock...but if none of these work I feed him.
c) we do have a routine- he gets a tubby, massage, bottle then we rock and I put him down drowsy awake in our bed- this happens around 730/8- he gets a 7oz bottle at this time but he gets 5.5 during the day- the doc said he might need more food but dont feed him 7oz at every feeding (remember that post a couple weeks ago?) what happens is that sometime around 6ish he gets sleepy (I try to keep him up) so he will fall asleep in the PNP...(when I posted about this on SAHM they said keep him awake and give an earlier "bedtime"- which prompted the 730/8 in our bed..before he would fall asleep 730/8- and we would keep him in the living room with us, in dhs arms or in the PNP and then we would give him a 1030/11 bottle and then take him to bed...
I also want to say I dont need/want him to sleep through the night- I know he will wake quite possibly until hes 2..I just want a decent stretch so I can get some rest...I dont mind the up at night but I just think it should be once maybe twice at this point....not 3-5 times...
How long do you plan on keeping him in your bed? I do think, but just from other's experiences, that babies who aren't sleeping independently won't sleep...well, independently. kwim? I remember reading about bed sharing - specifically about breastfeeding..in that babies will not get that deep into sleep because they sense their mamas and want to be fed.