DB wants to lower CS

fauxshelley

He lost his job in Jan for not showing up to work for 2 weeks and has not been able to find a job since (so he says).  I mean really, 5 months without a job, A JOB, not his dream job, just a job.  I'm starting to think he is holding out for a management position (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, cousin Eddie style, LOL).  

Anyway, he asked me if I would be willing to cut his cs payment.  He told me that he is borrowing the cs money from a friend every month.  He is already paying almost $400 less than he should be bc current cs is based on one child (Jack wasn't born at the time).  I am trying to work with him, so I told him that if he cut my grass every 2 weeks, I would deduct the amount I have to pay the yard guy.  He didn't agree to this but still wants to pay less.  

I just don't know what else to do, but I would be screwed if he stopped paying the small amount he is paying now.  My attorney said we could take him to court if he stopped paying, but that doesn't pay my bills.  I think I'll just tell him that it won't work out, and see what happens. 

I am tired of bending over backwards to accomodate him.  I recently let him come to my house and see the kids.  He doesn't want to have to care for them, so he won't take them anywhere.  He will only see them at my house be he doesn't want to change diapers and can't relate to our DD (his words).  I must have shown weakness by doing that and now he thinks he can pounce.   

::fingers crossed::

achase123

Ugh, I hear you.  I personally think that it doesn't do any good to accomodate them in ANY way because it's a slippery slope-give them an inch and they will take a mile.  STBXH has cut the original amount that he said he would pay me in half (and he has been $500 short of the COURT MANDATED amount for the last four months).  I tried to be ok with this because the amount is pretty considerable but this month he has paid me NOTHING.  Therefore I am turning his A$$ over to DCSS and they can deal with him.  Unfortunately he has no "legitimate" job to speak of so they can't garnish wages. 

Your DB ex needs to get a job.  This is the real world and we have responsibilities.  It's not your fault that he is "holding out for a managment position" (love, love, that movie btw).  He needs to get off his butt and support his children.  I wouldn't cut him any more slack.  Hang in there girl, I am dealing with the same thing....they will complain they have no money but can find the funds to spend on whatever they want (see my post below about the tattoo).

sweetie0228

"d)  Reduced or Fluctuating Income.

   (1)  Voluntary Reduction of Income. When either party voluntarily assumes a lower paying job, quits a job, leaves employment, changes occupations or changes employment status to pursue an education, or is fired for cause, there generally will be no effect on the support obligation.

   (2)  Involuntary Reduction of, and Fluctuations in, Income. No adjustments in support payments will be made for normal fluctuations in earnings. However, appropriate adjustments will be made for substantial continuing involuntary decreases in income, including but not limited to the result of illness, lay-off, termination, job elimination or some other employment situation over which the party has no control unless the trier of fact finds that such a reduction in income was willfully undertaken in an attempt to avoid or reduce the support obligation.

   (3)  Seasonal Employees. Support orders for seasonal employees, such as construction workers, shall ordinarily be based upon a yearly average.

   (4)  Earning Capacity. If the trier of fact determines that a party to a support action has willfully failed to obtain or maintain appropriate employment, the trier of fact may impute to that party an income equal to the party?s earning capacity. Age, education, training, health, work experience, earnings history and child care responsibilities are factors which shall be considered in determining earning capacity. In order for an earning capacity to be assessed, the trier of fact must state the reasons for the assessment in writing or on the record. Generally, the trier of fact should not impute an earning capacity that is greater than the amount the party would earn from one full-time position. Determination of what constitutes a reasonable work regimen depends upon all relevant circumstances including the choice of jobs available within a particular occupation, working hours, working conditions and whether a party has exerted substantial good faith efforts to find employment. "

 

This is PA's Law about asking for a reduction.  It is based on the Federal support laws and MANY other states follow this.

My ex tried this ONCE.  I showed up to the Hearing w/ this law printed and highlighted in my hand and the Mediator had the same thing.  He didn't get Support lowered in fact it got raised b/c of his earning capibilities.  HE WAS PISSED!  He sat there whining that his last paycheck was for $10 b/c of the amount garnished from his wages and that I needed to be humaine and I made 3x he did.  I said in front of the mediator, I'm sorry but apparently anyone who makes $30 makes 3x as much as you (muffled chortle from mediator) and I can't ask the children to only share have a half of sandwich b/c you can't keep a job. 

He then demanded to know how I thought he should live on this and i needed to be reasonable...I suggested he go out and work at a job and live in reality with the rest of normal society (another muffled chuckle from the mediatior) I told him to his face and told every judge after this, " I can't make you be an emotionally supportive, loving, caring, involved father, but w/ the law I can make you be a financially responisible father."

achase123

sweetie0228:

"d)  Reduced or Fluctuating Income.

   (1)  Voluntary Reduction of Income. When either party voluntarily assumes a lower paying job, quits a job, leaves employment, changes occupations or changes employment status to pursue an education, or is fired for cause, there generally will be no effect on the support obligation.

   (2)  Involuntary Reduction of, and Fluctuations in, Income. No adjustments in support payments will be made for normal fluctuations in earnings. However, appropriate adjustments will be made for substantial continuing involuntary decreases in income, including but not limited to the result of illness, lay-off, termination, job elimination or some other employment situation over which the party has no control unless the trier of fact finds that such a reduction in income was willfully undertaken in an attempt to avoid or reduce the support obligation.

   (3)  Seasonal Employees. Support orders for seasonal employees, such as construction workers, shall ordinarily be based upon a yearly average.

   (4)  Earning Capacity. If the trier of fact determines that a party to a support action has willfully failed to obtain or maintain appropriate employment, the trier of fact may impute to that party an income equal to the party?s earning capacity. Age, education, training, health, work experience, earnings history and child care responsibilities are factors which shall be considered in determining earning capacity. In order for an earning capacity to be assessed, the trier of fact must state the reasons for the assessment in writing or on the record. Generally, the trier of fact should not impute an earning capacity that is greater than the amount the party would earn from one full-time position. Determination of what constitutes a reasonable work regimen depends upon all relevant circumstances including the choice of jobs available within a particular occupation, working hours, working conditions and whether a party has exerted substantial good faith efforts to find employment. "

 

This is PA's Law about asking for a reduction.  It is based on the Federal support laws and MANY other states follow this.

My ex tried this ONCE.  I showed up to the Hearing w/ this law printed and highlighted in my hand and the Mediator had the same thing.  He didn't get Support lowered in fact it got raised b/c of his earning capibilities.  HE WAS PISSED!  He sat there whining that his last paycheck was for $10 b/c of the amount garnished from his wages and that I needed to be humaine and I made 3x he did.  I said in front of the mediator, I'm sorry but apparently anyone who makes $30 makes 3x as much as you (muffled chortle from mediator) and I can't ask the children to only share have a half of sandwich b/c you can't keep a job. 

He then demanded to know how I thought he should live on this and i needed to be reasonable...I suggested he go out and work at a job and live in reality with the rest of normal society (another muffled chuckle from the mediatior) I told him to his face and told every judge after this, " I can't make you be an emotionally supportive, loving, caring, involved father, but w/ the law I can make you be a financially responisible father."

::standing ovation for you::  This must've felt effing amazing!