DH's Grandma - Vent

LoveyFNR

I don't know if this is the right place to post this but my DH's grandma is one of the rudest women I have ever met when it comes to pregnancy. When I got 3 BFP is two days and DH excitedly told her she had comments like "but she might NOT be pregnant" and "but how do you REALLY know" and "maybe the tests were wrong". Then when we got our ultrasound and there was quite obviously a baby in there the comments changed to "what if it isn't yours?" and "you know, something could always cause a m/c" and "what if there are problems?" She even began telling different stories of a m/c she had and others she heard about. WTH!? Is she really that naive to say such awful things? She hasn't said one positive thing about this pregnancy at all and now her and MIL have gone so far as to stop talking to me. Am I some sort of monster for carrying his child? Good grief! The thing I find strange is that before I got pregnant all they would do is raz on DH to have a baby so they could have someone to swoon over and now I feel like they exciled me for doing nothing wrong! Ugh. Sorry, I just really needed to vent. His family are just a couple of nuts!

hhpd2009

How old is she?  DH's grandmom is pushing 100, and therefore is apparently allowed to say whatever she wants.

Such as, she doesn't necesarily think I am pregnant because she can't see it in my eyes.

However, this has not stopped her from talling me to quit my job and give away my cats.

bobbyruth

This sucks my DH's Grandmother is the same way. 

She pretended our DD and I did not exist until DD was about 4 years old.  If it had been up to me she never would have seen DD.  But DH didn't want bad blood between him and his parents for not letting his grandma see her once she decided she wanted to.  DH's mother said she did the same thing when DH and his brother were little.  We haven't told her about this one yet but now that she is in DD's life i don't see her disappearing again. And if she does good reddens.

mn*plumm

It might be an age thing, my grandmother loves me to pieces yet when I told her about my 2nd loss she said "so this one wasn't real either?". Yes grandma, they are all real. They just didn't keep growing.

julieanna21

At dinner with in-laws last night, where me and DH's cousin are both expecting, stories of miscarriages and babies with 6 fingers, etc were told.  Also, when MIL was as far along as me, she was neither as large nor as tired, and in fact took her whole family to Disneyworld.  And she is saying this in front of everyone why?  I just roll my eyes about it.

Take it with a grain of salt, I think sometimes people don't know what to say or how to edit themselves, and things come out.  Plus, she's old, some ladies welcome the old excuse to say mean stuff.  Give her the crazy bitty pass and try not to take it to heart:) 

abovewedding

That is HORRIBLE!

My mom sort of gave me a hard time before I was pregnant when I would hint that my husband and I wanted kids soon. She's say 'Oh, please don't go and get pregnant ,you have so much time' etc etc . (I'm 24, he's 35) And one day I finally said "Mom, I love you, but this is our choice and we're ready and we want to have a baby." And later she came back and said she was sorry she'd hurt my feelings and now she's the most excited one. 

So I'd just say "Listen, we're married and this was something we wanted. Yes something (God forbid) could go wrong but thats the case with everything and I'd appreciate you being happy for us." - not to mention medical care has come a long way since your grandma in law has had children. 

princesscm99

Some people just don't have self-edit buttons.  I'm really sorry it's upsetting you, and hopefully the silent treatment from both G-ma and MIL will be a blessing.

Before we met, my MIL kept telling my husband (who was 24 at the time) that it was obvious that he wasn't ever going to get married, so could he please just knock up some 'easy woman' so she could have a grandkid.

When we did get married she kept asking until we finally told her that it was very difficult for me to get pregnant, and the doctors were doing what they could to help me.  She said, "Well, maybe she (me) will let you have a baby with someone else and she can adopt it." 

WTF? 

 

LoveyFNR

Yeah I suppose the old lady part may have something to do with it. She is going on 84 this year. She seems mentally fine otherwise which is why it surprised me when she'd come off saying something like that. And yes, the silent treatment actually HAS been a blessing. Especially when DH knows what's going on and is equally upset with them as I am and I'm not being attacked by everyone.

 And princesscm99, that is terrible! I cannot believe someone would go so far as to saying that! Some people.....

 

jgal84

princesscm99:

When we did get married she kept asking until we finally told her that it was very difficult for me to get pregnant, and the doctors were doing what they could to help me.  She said, "Well, maybe she (me) will let you have a baby with someone else and she can adopt it." 

WTF? 

 

Oh, hell no!! Wow. I can't believe someone could say that