? for those who seperated while pg

mommamelmo

I'm sure this has been asked before but anyways... Those of you whom split up before LO's big arrival how did you work out custody? I plan on EBF but that doesn't always happen. When will LO have over night visits?

Even if your X isn't an active parent what was the plan? I'm meeting with the lawyer on Tuesday and I want to finish up all that so nothing is left up in the air.

dimake

Things were pretty amicable at that point, so after YDD was born, H would spend every other night at the house to give me a break.  i was FF though - I'd had problems BF with ODD and it was so stressful even with the both of us.

After a few months, H would take the kids one weekend night every other week, and he'd watch the kids at my house during his time off.  But he was also riding the fence about getting back together (and hadn't told me about his GF yet).

mommamelmo

STBXH definately can't sleep over at my house. I'm living with my parents and he has stolen money from them... So that definately wouldnt work.

fauxshelley

We have a custody agreement and cs based on our DD only.  We plan to amend it, but are waiting on ex to get a job.  The courts wouldn't allow me to include DS bc he wasn't born at the time of divorce.  If we ever do get back to court, both children will follow the same schedule except that he will not have DS overnight until he is older (3).  He doesn't see either child much and has not had any overnight visits this year, so I don't expect the overnight thing to be an issue at all.

dimake

mommamelmo:

STBXH definately can't sleep over at my house. I'm living with my parents and he has stolen money from them... So that definately wouldnt work.

Ah, yes...  that would be a problem!

A coworker of mine had a similar situation - her X had visitation at her place while the baby was an infant - he could start taking him overnight at about nine months.

mandaphilly

When I left X, I went back to my country. So it was easy for me I guess. I just left and that was it, he never saw her or anything. Good Luck!

blondnearby

It was originally agreed upon that stbx would not have overnights until DD#2 was 1 year old.  However, that became null and void when he moved out of the state.  He had overnights (but had her no more than 23 hours consecutively) with DD#1 when we split but that also ended when he moved.

Cytina

STBXH hasn't moved out yet but it will be soon.  I can't see having overnight visits with DS#2 until he is at least 6 months old, and luckily I don't think I'll get an argument. 

achase123

Well I am still EBF so my lawyer told me it's a non-issue but right now STBXH only has one hr/week of supervised visits in a nuetral local because he is a tool and is NOT safe to be alone with DS.  He is also an addict.

mommamelmo

thanks ladies, lots of things to think about