Babies: 0 - 3 Months

had to let dd cry last night, emotional

dd was clean, swaddled, fed, fed again, burped, changed, shushed, rocked etc and wouldnt stop crying last night.

dh said we should out her in the crib and let her cry a bit....the longest 20 mins of my life, but she finally stopped. i felt like a horrible mom.

we started the process over again and i out her down, she slept for 5 hrs!! is this bad to let her cry when all her needs are met??

 

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Re: had to let dd cry last night, emotional

  • How old is your LO?

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  • imagekt&charles:

     

    we started the process over again and i out her down, she slept for 5 hrs!! is this bad to let her cry when all her needs are met??

    Yes.  Your baby is too young to self-soothe.  If the crying is driving you nuts, take turns with your DH trying to quiet her.

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  • I think it depends on how old your LO is. I personally would not let DD cry for 20 min.
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  • Don't feel bad. You do what you gotta do to get by! Some babies actually need to cry to fall asleep, as long as her needs were met I don't think your doing anything wrong!
  • imagekt&charles:

    dd was clean, swaddled, fed, fed again, burped, changed, shushed, rocked etc and wouldnt stop crying last night.

    dh said we should out her in the crib and let her cry a bit....the longest 20 mins of my life, but she finally stopped. i felt like a horrible mom.

    we started the process over again and i out her down, she slept for 5 hrs!! is this bad to let her cry when all her needs are met??

     

    I think another need is just to be held sometimes.   

  • I think it's too young, your LO is only 2.5 weeks old.
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  • If DD was crying for 20 minutes and all her other needs were met, I'd be holding her trying to get her to stop.  There must be a reason she's upset.  Try swaddling & letting her lay on your chest.  That worked when DD was having nightly screaming episodes.  She seems to have grown out of them now, but it was something that worked for us.
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  • At this age, I wouldn't let him cry for 20 minutes by himself.  I agree with taking turns with DH until LO calms down.  Was she gassy maybe?  Or maybe she just wanted to be held for a while.
  • yes, this is bad. how old is she? it's too young to let her self-soothe. her needs were not all met, she needed you! 
  • imageblckwhtyllwgirl:
    I think it's too young, your LO is only 2.5 weeks old.

    WAY too young!

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  • Oh yes..2.5 weeks is way to young to self soothe!! I thought your baby was much older.
  • I basically tell my DH to go to hell every time he suggests letting the baby cry it out.  Do not take your husband's advice on this one.  I told my husband we can start letting him cry it out sometimes around 5-6 months, when they think babies can really start to manipulate and have it become a learned behavior. 

    Last night, for example, my LO cried because he wanted to be held for the first time, really (he isn't much of a crier).  I could tell because as soon as I picked him up and held him for about 30 seconds, he calmed down and started smiling, actually.  I was able to lay him down with my husband so I could finish pumping and he was fussy for a second but that generally worked.  My LO also cries when he is gassy--another time you might think his basic needs are met but they are not because he really needs some loving or gas medicine. 

  • By the way, your baby is too young to sleep for 5 hours at a time, IMO.  My pediatrician won't let my 1 month old go longer than 4 hours even for the sake of my sleep and despite the fact my LO is gaining a ridiculous amount of weight (like a pound a week).  He didn't let me ever go longer than 2-3 hours when my LO was 2 weeks.  And even if you are formula feeding, formula digests in 3 hours so they need more basically every 3 hours.
  • Please don't let your infant cry herself to sleep.  She is used to being held tight in your tummy.  She needs reassurance that she is safe.

    This post is making me emotional.

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  • imagewhit022109:
    yes, this is bad. how old is she? it's too young to let her self-soothe. her needs were not all met, she needed you! 

    This! Your baby is WAY too young to be left to cry for any amount of time beyond your control! Babies this young want to be held, a lot.

  • sometimes when your LO is crying and all her needs are met she just wants to be held and comforted. The first few months ESPECIALLY they need to feel like they can trust you and thats by comforting her when she cries no matter how long it takes. Maybe she was gassy? next time try laying her on her tummy on your lap and pat her back... see if it calms her... GL oh and i recommend the happiest baby on the block... it worked wonders for me! my baby barely ever cries now... and if she does i know how to comfort her quick
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  • sometimes when your LO is crying and all her needs are met she just wants to be held and comforted. The first few months ESPECIALLY they need to feel like they can trust you and thats by comforting her when she cries no matter how long it takes. Maybe she was gassy? next time try laying her on her tummy on your lap and pat her back... see if it calms her... GL oh and i recommend the happiest baby on the block... it worked wonders for me! my baby barely ever cries now... and if she does i know how to comfort her quick
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  • shotzieshotzie member
    That's way too young to let a baby CIO. If she was crying, there was a reason. At that age, when all else failed, I would feed DD again. I remember a nurse in the hospital saying how newborns need to eat very frequently, even if you just fed them 20 minutes ago sometimes. I don't know why your LO was crying, obviously, but you just have to try to figure it out. Too hot, too cold, fever, wants to be held, hungry, dirty diaper, diaper on too tight, scratchy clothes, just needs to suck, etc, etc. The only way babies can communicate when they need something is to cry. At this age, they're trying to tell you they need something. ?
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  • thank you all for confirming what i told dh. i did read that somtimes babies just want to cry? i wont leave her alone again!!

     

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  • imagekt&charles:

    thank you all for confirming what i told dh. i did read that somtimes babies just want to cry? i wont leave her alone again!!

     

    Yes

    Thanks for listening to advice and not getting defensive.  It's hard dealing with a crying baby when you have no idea what's wrong or how to fix it.

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  • imagekt&charles:

    thank you all for confirming what i told dh. i did read that somtimes babies just want to cry? i wont leave her alone again!!

     

    Yep.  This was sooo hard for me to understand at first, even though the hospital made me watch a video on it.  Apparantly it's a way they relieve stress. 

  • It's normal for them to cry. It's the main release valve for them. But you shouldn't let a 2 week old cry it out. It's cruel. You aren't training or teaching any lessons by letting them cry alone at such a young age.
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