Parenting

Discipline

How do you disciple your 6 year olds?  We have been having major problems with ours.  He is rude, talks back, lies, has listening problems and is stealing things.  We use to have some problems, but NOTHING like this.  I feel bad. I feel like I am yelling at him & punishing him all the time & I hate that!  When he does something good I always praise him, but I don't know how to punish him anymore.  We have tried taking away his DS, his TV, computer, WII, kneeling on his knees on the kitchen floor, spanking (however I do not believe in spaking with objects), talking to him.  I just dont know what to do!!  How do you ladies disciple??
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Re: Discipline

  • We have 2 approaches with our son. First, we find something he loves and use it as leverage... ie around your ds's age our son was really into Pokemon. If he misbehaved/broke the family rules, then a certain special pokemon card became ours.

    Second, we used a noodle jar. There was a list of things that he if he accomplished (reading a certain number of pages in a book, how many answers were correct on homework, putting clothes away, etc) then he would get to add noodles to the jar. when they reached the line, he got a reward, always an experience, not a thing - like going to the aquarium, or seeing a movie. This helped him see how his good behaviour was helping him get something good. He needed the visual to understand.

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  • Consider reading the book Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso. 

    My 6 y/o responds best to logical consequences.  If she's being rude, she needs to apologize and try again politely or she gets no reaction.  If she's being a little diva she needs to go to her room until she adjusts her attitude. 

    She does best when we have a predictible schedule and imediate rewards (like when she's completely ready for school she can watch tv, when her homework is done she can get out the art supplies). 

    And it is so important to be sure they're getting plenty of sleep and nutritious snacks at this age.  I don't know about your DS but my DD has GROWN this year and she needs a lot of sleep or she's miserable. 

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  • ZenyaZenya member
    wtf is kneeling on the kitchen floor about?  Do I want to know?
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  • imageZenya:
    wtf is kneeling on the kitchen floor about?  Do I want to know?

    Pretty sure it is like a time-out with the added bonus of hurting the kid.  :(

    .
  • Thank you so much for your advice!  We found a Burger King watch he stole from one of his friends in his book bag today.  So my DH told him he was going "steal" something from him since he stole something from his friend.  So my DH took his Baukigan (sp) cards. Wow.  That hit a sore spot.   We've always taught him that we work hard for our money & we don't steal.  I mean the kid has EVERYTHING a kid could possibly want.  I just don't get it.

     And thanks for the Noodle idea!  I've never heard of that one.  we'll have to try that as well.  I really appriciate it!!

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  • imageZenya:
    wtf is kneeling on the kitchen floor about?  Do I want to know?

    He just kneels on the kitchen floor for a few minutes.  Just like the other person said, its a time out w/a little more punishment since time outs don't work & I don't believe in beating my child.

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  • where do poeple come up with things like "kneeling on the kitchen floor" as discipline? 

    Im curious now too...was this how you were punished as a kid??

     

  • Oh! I also recommend the book 1,2,3 Magic. I have a friend who has 2 adopted children that they suspect have some birth trama's (like fetal acohol syndrome) and the techniques in the book have worked very well for them.
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  • ZenyaZenya member
    imagejnaden2:

    imageZenya:
    wtf is kneeling on the kitchen floor about?  Do I want to know?

    He just kneels on the kitchen floor for a few minutes.  Just like the other person said, its a time out w/a little more punishment since time outs don't work & I don't believe in beating my child.

     

    um, ok.  stop it, please.  That's horrible. 

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  • imageDandelionMom:

    Consider reading the book Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso.   

    Ditto this. I love this book.

    imageimage
    Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
    "Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
  • imageDandR:

    where do poeple come up with things like "kneeling on the kitchen floor" as discipline? 

    Im curious now too...was this how you were punished as a kid??

     

     

    um, no.  Actually I was punished by my dad beating my A$$.  That's why I don't believe in beating my children.  Him kneeling on the floor isn't some HORRIBLE thing.  Do you get on the floor & scrub your floor?  Its the same thing.  Its uncomfortable.  That's it.

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  • imagepinktulips:
    Oh! I also recommend the book 1,2,3 Magic. I have a friend who has 2 adopted children that they suspect have some birth trama's (like fetal acohol syndrome) and the techniques in the book have worked very well for them.

     

    Thank you!  I'll definitely look into these things : )

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  • ZenyaZenya member
    imagejnaden2:
    imageDandR:

    where do poeple come up with things like "kneeling on the kitchen floor" as discipline? 

    Im curious now too...was this how you were punished as a kid??

     

     

    um, no.  Actually I was punished by my dad beating my A$$.  That's why I don't believe in beating my children.  Him kneeling on the floor isn't some HORRIBLE thing.  Do you get on the floor & scrub your floor?  Its the same thing.  Its uncomfortable.  That's it.

    the cycle of abuse is hard to break.  But you can do it. 

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