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1st Trimester
Dog vs Baby (long)
Oh boy, where do I start. When I met H he had a Rottweiler. I remember the first weekend H ever spent with me at my apartment, he brought the dog and when they left the dog had ruined my carpet. There were little pee marks on everything. When I moved out of the apartment they charged me over $100 bucks to get all of the stains up, so me & the dog pretty much started off on the bad foot. So, I moved in w/ H prior to us getting married and immediately noticed that this dog had issues! He was not house trained, he didn?t know how to walk on a leash, he had no toys because he was too aggressive (growling/barking at whoever got near him) whenever he was given one and he had to be fed outside for the very same reason (aggression), and no food could be left on the counters. So when H & I decided buy a house together, I told him that I wanted him to take the dog to a training class. He somewhat agreed but after finding out the price changed his mind. We ended up moving into a beautiful new house & on our first day in it, the dog used the bathroom in one of the carpeted rooms. Within 1-2 months of living in the house the carpets needed to be professionally clean. I am a super neat freak, so I clean my house top to bottom 2-3 times a week, H cleans the bathrooms & does yard work only. It takes me up to an hour to vacuum the carpeted rooms then go over the hardwood w/ the broom, then dust mop, then mop in order to get the dog hair & drool up. No matter how much I clean, it never seems to last. My floors stay clean for a day, the end tables stay clean for 30 minutes, oh & our house smells horrible. I mean we?re talking about a 125 lb Rottweiler, not a poodle.
So, a year ago while cleaning I had a mini-melt down & told H there?s no way I?d bring a baby into a house covered in dog hair, dog drool, pee & poop stains. H replied w/ ?we?ll worry about that when the time comes, maybe we can just put him in the backyard??well the time has come! Baby?s on the way & the dog is still reeking havoc in my house! But it?s not only the filth that bothers me, the dog is aggressive! One time he stole an entire raw rack of ribs off the counter, brought it into our bedroom leaving a blood trail through our entire house and neither of us were able to get it from him. He even growls at H, which to me says we have no control over this dog! I approached the subject w/ H again last night & it turned into a huge fight. I?m not saying that H has to totally get rid of his 7 yr old rotty (although I DO really want him gone), I just don?t want that big a$$ nasty, mean dog sharing a home with me & my baby. I think he belongs in the backyard. He?s been a house dog all his life, but he sure as hell doesn?t act like it. H?s stance is that since I probably won?t be going back to work after the baby is born, I should be able to take care of the baby, house, & dog and it?s totally irrational for me want to put the dog out. Oh & he claims he doesn?t remember the conversation we had where he suggested putting the dog in the backyard. I think I?m being fair, but could there be another way of handling this?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dog vs Baby (long)
That really doesn't sound good!
Have you suggested maybe the 3 of you going through an obedience training class together? Or perhaps hiring a private trainer to take care of some issues within your home?
Babies are even messier. Just saying. I have a 100lb German Shepherd and training starts with YOU and your husband. If he won't take the dominant role in the house, then as a pet owner you are responsible for this. You need to set clear guidelines with your dog. I would highly recommend taking your dog to a group tarining class. They are only $125 for 6 weeks around these parts. GL
Sounds like your H got a dog having no idea how to deal with said dog. He has taken no responsibility for this dog to socialize it and train it. This is especially important in breeds like rotties which are extremely smart and without proper training and socialization can be dangerous. With a mentally strong owner and proper socialization and enough exercise, they are wonderful dogs.
I suggest you give your dog to a Rottie rescue group so they can find a home for it with people that have a clue when it comes to dogs. Sticking him in the backyard away from family and the little socialization he maybe gets with you 2 is a fate worse than death for dogs in my opinion.
If you are unwilling to give him away, then demand that your H gets training for the dog and himself. The way this dog is behaving towards you and your H is dominant and dangerous. This happens to a lot of people that don't do their breed research before getting a dog. Unfortunately that is why there are so many purebreed rescue groups out there. Good luck.
Agreed 100%. They can also rehome him with an experienced pet owner who is able to assume the dominant role to break him of his aggression. I wouldn't bring a baby into a home with a dog that is exhibiting ANY signs of aggression.
11-15-08
12-1-10
1) I'm failing to see how your husband took the effort to obtain the dog, but he does not want to put forth the finances to have it properly trained. Please do not adopt any future pets unless the proper steps will be taken in order to train and take care of the animal.
2) The dog needs to be trained starting now in regards to the baby. Not when the baby comes. Based on what you are telling us, this behavior issue isn't going to be a quick fix overnight.
3) A dog doesn't just get pushed off to the side or thrown out when a child comes. It's a part of the family. Not something that you can just discard at your convenience. If attempts to properly train the dog have failed, then please do your research and provide the dog with the proper means to be found another suitable home. Look into local rescues.
4) Yes dogs can be messy. But so can children. I hate to tell you this but your days of being an intense neat freak will probably dissolve even more when your child comes.
Well, unfortunately your DH has really set the dog up for failure and you're aren't helping the situation at all.
Instead of just throwing your dog (who is built to be a social creature, and not to be isolated)into the yard, maybe you could both take responsibility for your actions and you could start training immediately and try to get your dog ready. I know, I know, training costs $- but animals DO cost money and as a pet owner- you signed up to take on whatever expenses may arise. And I am talking to you, because as much as you try to fight it, it is your dog too. Sorry, what's DH's is yours. The dog lives in your house, I'm sure you've fed it at some point or another, I'm sure you've taken it out to do it's business- it's a responsibility you have taken on, too.
Bringing a child into a home with an undersocialized dog is EXTREMELY dangerous, and yes- that is what gets kids attacked and sometimes killed. The dog hasn't been allowed to have toys because it displayed aggression (horrible, horrible way to handle that, by the way). So what do you think it going to happen when your child walks by with a toy in it's hand?
And putting the dog into the back yard is only going to compound the isolation and stands the possibility of actually making your dog outwardly aggressive. Please visit the website www.dogsdeservebetter.org to find out exactly what chaining a dog can do....
If you and DH are not going to put in the time, effort and resources into getting this dog trained- PLEASE look for a rescue, even one that specializes in the breed that can rehabilitate and rehome it.
I rescue dogs, and while I RARELY ever actually tell someone to surrender an animal- you and DH have really done the dog a huge disservice already, and I highly doubt either of you will put the work into this situation that it needs. You may think I'm over reacting, but I promise you that having your child around an unsocialized, food and toy aggressive dog is so insanely dangerous, I consider it to be neglect. You literally have a ticking time-bomb on your hands, and it's not the dogs fault.
This! I would also add that this situation is not safe for a baby. You seem to be focused on the mess, but the dominance/agression is a much bigger issue. If he is growling at you and your DH and you are unable to exert leadership you will be unable to protect your baby. Saying that it has been 7 years of this behavior you all would need to work very hard and be very consistent over the next 9 months to even think about bringing a baby into this situation.
First of all, please, please do not make the dog live outside. Dogs are social creatures and the stress of being isolated away from it's family is incredibly damaging to a dog. If you put a dog with pre-existing behavior problems in that situation, I can almost guarantee a tragedy somewhere down the line. I generally don't support re-homing pets you've made a commitment to, but I think re-homing would be kinder than putting the dog outside.
It sounds like the dog has received little or no training, so it's no wonder he's unpleasant to live with. Dog have to have rules and structure to know how they're supposed to behave. To tackle the potty issues, I strongly suggest crate training. To tackle the food and toy guarding, I suggest immediately implementing a Nothing in Life is Free program. (Links on both crate training and NILIF can be found here.)
The resource guarding issue is concerning, especially with a little one on the way. I strongly suggest you begin working on the problem now. Jean Donaldson's book, Mine!, is usually the most recommended book on that issue. If it doesn't improve with some training at home, it may also be worthwhile to consult with a behaviorist. (And if your husband complains about the money, remind him that it's your dog's life you're dealing with here. If you allow this to escalate and he bites someone will almost certainly be put down if you release him to a shelter).
I'm not trying to be harsh here, especially since it sounds like your husband has really dropped the ball and left you with responsibility here, but you're definitely going to have to start working hard with this dog if you want him to be baby-ready. Good luck with everything! I hope it all works out for you.
I would normally never suggest anyone give up their pets. But she and her H are not willing to spend the money on training and she wants to stick the dog in the backyard from now on. IMO, a new home is in order for this poor dog. One where the owners understand rotties and the dog may get some attention and exercise.
There is not much more i can add to this that hasn't already been said. It sounds like between the two of you, you created this situation. And if you can't be responsible for a dog, how will you be responsible for a child? I would try to get into training and assert your dominance now. I pray it is not too late for the animal. Having been an inside dog and kicking him outside is just as bad as taking him to the pound.
If they aren't willing to take the time to not only take the dog to obedience classes, but also WORK with the dog every single day and reinforce the things learned in obedience classes, then they're better off surrendering it to a rescue. You can't just take your dog to 6 obedience classes and think that everything is magically going to be ok. You put your dog back into the surroundings that they're used to and they'll revert back to their old behavior unless you continue to work with them at home. The OP nor her DH seem to be willing to spend the necessary time training this dog and bringing a child into a home with an aggressive dog makes for a very unsafe situation.
11-15-08
12-1-10
Couldn't agree more.
Clearly I'm a lover of big, powerful dogs (see siggy) and don't agree with the arguement that big dogs + babies = BAD. But if you're going to have a breed like a Rotty there is an ASSLOAD of responsibility that you MUST be willing to assume - and it looks like neither you or DH are willing to do that.
1. IMMEDIATELY insist that you AND DH (this is NOT his problem, it's both yours) both get professional help with the dog. If you two decide it's just too much work, you'll want to know this before you get into 3rd tri and have even more going on in your life.
2. If you decide to skip the professional assistance (or it fails) go straight to a reputable rotty rescue that understand the breed better than you and DH do.
And yeah, the dog pissing all over the house is nasty... but you should kinda get used to messes.
You have to be high (or just super naive) if you think that a 7 year problem is going to be immediately rectified by the same people who have brushed off any responsibility to this animal thus far.
Here's a spoiler.... it's not going to happen.
The best possible thing they can do is to find a rescue that can help them. Notice; I didn't say "Take your dog to the humane society and dump it", I said find a RESCUE. People who are trained and now how to rehab and rehome the dog.
It looks like from her post, if it's up to her the dog is getting chained in the back yard and if it is up to him- he'll sit on his a$$ until the dog hurts someone. Yeah, rescue is the best option.
** the bump wouldn't let me edit **
aggressive dog is NOT good. H would feel horrible if anything happened to that baby or you. Who cares about the mess! Aggressive dogs are dangerous and it sounds like H has no control what so ever and if anything were to happen, he has no way to protect his family from his precious dog. Time for an ultimatum, it's either train the dog...or you and the baby go. I've worked in a pit bull rescue; aggression can be worked with however there are many cases when a dog has to be put down because of aggression. Sometimes no amount of training will help especially in dogs that have been bred for aggression.
This 10000x!!!
2 things here coming from someone who has a toddler and a messy dog. First PP are right - babies are messy and I feel like I chase after DS sometimes cleaning up after him and the dog. I used to be a clean FREAK doing my floors (hardwoods too) every day because I could not stand the dog hair and all the stuff tracked into the house. I also couldnt stomach the thought (before I had DS) of all the dog hair and slobber that DS would be exposed to. You have to learn to let this all go or you will drive yourself crazy trying to keep up with both your baby and dog all the time. I have given up on daily floor cleaning and deep clean my house about once a week now, or I give myself one big cleaning task to focus on each day. You will be too damn busy and too damn tired to keep your "neat freak" habits so start learning to get used to not doing as much.
Second, and this is a pretty important thing in my book - you aboslutely must get that dog in some kind of training class for his aggression. And you and DH need to agree 100% on this. And do it now before you introduce baby into your Rottweiler's world. It is next to IMPOSSIBLE to keep my toddler and my dog apart, one is always chasing the other or DS is grabbing the dogs ears/butt/face/fur and going after the dog's toys and food/water dishes. It is not fair to your dog to just be put outside and realistically are you going to keep the dog there for the ENTIRE day? There is no way you can keep them separated all the time.
Take care of this issue now and be done with it
IMO, I don't believe that the OP is that much at fault here. As I read it, she never wanted a dog, but it came with the H and there wasnt anything that could be done about that. I agree that it is horrible when people get dogs and don't properly care for them. But H is the problem not the dog or OP.
I say the ultimatum is that H takes responsibility and goes to obedience training with the dog (of course OP will have to go along as she will also be responsible in assisting with training) or the dog goes to a rescue. This is NOT the OPers responsibility as she did not get the dog, H did.
Where's the dog whisperer when you need him. This would make a great episode!!
She stated that she suggested it, her H said no after seeing the price. Most people think that the typical run of training classes (normally 6-8) will work magic. I have two rescued pitties and didn't realize how much hard work and time it actually takes to train a dog. Most people that don't work with rescued dogs and/or haven't gone through the process of training a dog think that by enrolling your dog in a few obedience classes, you'll automatically have a great dog. Uhh, not true. I don't think that 6 months is going to be long enough to break habits of a 7 yr old dog, especially not by owners who are unwilling to do so.
11-15-08
12-1-10
Right, you said that after I quoted you... that's good...thumbs up...we're on the same page now.
EDIT- I didn't mean after I quoted you, I was writing it while you said it. That's what I meant. You know what I mean.
Rehome your husband, he sounds like a real winner. Can't take care of his dog, can't take care of his house, can't respect his wife. Awesome all the way around.
This isn't the dog's fault, it's your husbands.
That being said, gather up the money and make a SUBSTANTIAL donation to a rescue so that they can work on cleaning up your husband's mess. The dog will be better off without you idiots.
It's times like this I really wish google chrome let me use the little icons... I would give you a bunch of the little thumbs up. This was too funny.
Yes, they were generalizations.
11-15-08
12-1-10
Most places who have dogs up for rescue will indicate whether a dog should be in a home with children, or even with other pets. I don't think it is solely due to training, or lack thereof, whether a dog is right for a situation. The shelters do this for the sake of the dog. It's always in the dog's best interest to be in a home which is suitable for him. I don't think it's necessarily awful to give him up if the home is not the best place it can be for him.
It doesn't sound to me though that this is an option for your DH. There are specialists that can come to your home and view the behavior and potential pitfalls. I would schedule this ASAP. Training the dog, if possible, to prepare for the baby is going to take time. Going to training outside of the home may be more cost-effective, however on your timeline and with something as important as a baby on the way I think a home evaluation is necessary and worth the money.
As the owner of a Rott and someone who used to foster for Rottie Rescue, PLEASE surrender your dog. 7 years of being dog aggressive is not going to go away during the remainder of your pregnancy. Being that your dog growls at you and your hubby, he sees himself above you both, and will most likely see himself above the baby. You have a huge liability on your hands, not just for your precious lo but for other people who have contact with the dog. By surrendering to a rescue, you are giving the dog a chance at a new life with new owners that will give the dog the attention he needs. You are also giving your lo a safe home. Rotts are a hard breed to own and most need a lot of training from day one to avoid what you are going through. I wish you the best of luck. It will be VERY hard on DH to give up his first baby, but this new babies safety is more important. I think you all will be much better off.
p.s. I hear you on the mess. I have to sweep and mop constantly, and minutes later there's drool and hair all over the place again! (although I promise you my baby was not covered in hair:)
Agree 100%
If the dog acts that way it is not his fault. He has never been taught how to act appropriately. It is up to you and your H to do this or give the dog a home and a family that will.
My friends have a Rottie that is the most well behaved dog i have ever met as well as a English Mastiff and two mutts. I swear those dogs could take care of my DD by themselves. And my friends don't have their own children but have been sure to socialize the dogs and train them to know who is boss so that when they do have children they will have no problems.
For the sake of your baby but most of all your sanity?.invest in training the dog. Obviously you need to put your foot down with your DH who is clueless and being insensitive. It may take months (even after the baby is born) to get your dog where it need to be, but can be done. Its only fair that you give obedience training a try first since it seem like you know what you getting into from the start.
And don?t feel too guilty if as the last resort you have to give up the dog?he should with people a can care for him best. GL
Pixy for the WIN!
Obviously there is a HUGE consensus on this thread! Please give up your dog!
At this point, if training has not come up in your household don't kid yourself, and say you will do it. Rots are amazing, protective dogs but they are work and it is obvious you and your husband are not willing to put in the effort.
Perhaps make a suggestion to your husband about getting a smaller dog in place of your current dog. Please keep this thread informed of your decision, and if worse comes to worse I am sure sending a message to any one of us who responded to your plea would be willing to help you re-home this poor dog.
Oh hells no! Don't encourage them to get ANOTHER dog that they won't train!
Sorry but I have to disagree with this. Small dogs need training and structure just as much as a big dog...which the OP does not seem to be capable of providing. Unless they really turn things around with the original dog, I don't think they should adopt any pets again. And if they surrender their first pet, most places won't be likely to adopt to them in the future anyway.
I just don't believe in "trading up" for a new pet when the first one becomes inconvenient.
I'm sorry, mocampo, but I strongly disagree with you. They should never get another pet of any kind unless they are willing to put in the work. And from the sound of it, they're not. I have a large dog and a small dog. The large dog was far easier to train then the little one. Small =/= easier.
A lot of great points here folks. I hate the idea of putting him in the backyard, personally I don't see the point of anyone having a dog if he can't live in the house with the family. The backyard was simply a way of maybe compromising. Prior to meeting my H I had a rott mix & a shepard mix, both of whom I took to obedience classes & they were properly trained and excellent dogs!!! The problem w/ this one is 1) he has never had any kind of training and even though I try, if H isn't doing the same it simply doesn't work. 2) I strongly believe in crate training, H & his family think it's inhumane. So we simply don't see eye to eye on the responsibilties of pet ownership. I understand the importance of socializing dogs & training, but if H & I aren't on the same page, it's a lost cause & the dog is the one that suffers. We have a friend who owns a dog kennel & lives on a farm w/ her 3 Great Danes, another big dog, some horses & pigs. Our dog loves her & she's the one who takes care of him when we're gone. I've suggested asking her if she'll take him. I have no doubt she'll be able to train & take care of him. H is opposed to that idea, but he's losing ground in this fight.
Quite frankly the thought of being a first time mom in a town where I have no family or friends for support & trying to train an aggressive dog that almost weighs more than me is just too much. After this one, I seriously doubt I'll ever get another dog w/ my H.
THIS. One million percent.
Edit: my attempt to quote didn't work. But I will say I support either a STRONG attempt at training (but I would *always* be cautious of the dog around baby) and if the training falls through, then to find a suitable new home.
Good luck.
Thanks for coming back into the discussion. I am happy that you are taking the suggestions to heart and it sounds like you are on the same page as most of the PP. I think you just need to convince your H that a new home is what's best for the dog as well as your family. It sounds like you also have a great option for a new home. I wish you the best of luck as you figure all of this out.
I am disturbed that neither of you have bothered to provide structure, boundaries, leadership, or training in the SEVEN years you have had this dog. Good grief. Your H has a very strong, dominant, working breed and has done nothing to nurture it's natural instincts, has done nothing to provide leadership- which ALL dogs- including small ones- need.
Your neat freakness is going to take a back seat when a kid comes and is leaking from it's diaper all over your precious carpet as well.
I am glad to see that banishing the dog to the back yard to live a life of isolation does not sit well with you afterall. I abhor people who toss their animals aside when a "real" baby comes along. It's disgusting.
Look, I have a pit bull. She's stubborn and needs boundaries and leadership. But she's an angel. She's like this because, from DAY 1, we have worked with her. We put her through 4 levels of obedience in 2 years to exercise her mind, bond with her, teach her what is expected of her, give her a job to do. A rott needs a job to do. They need leadership. If they don't have a job to do or a leader to follow, they'll find their own job and make their own rules. Both are bad combos, particularly with a powerful dog.
You're emotional and hormonal. Take a step back and get a grip. You can do this. Look around for obedience classes and suck up the money and pay for them. You're about to have a child. A $150-200 class should not be breaking the bank at this point in your lives. And it's an extremely important investment for your family at present.
There are many resources out there to help you prepare your dog for the arrival of baby- how to keep them separated, how to teach the dog to respect baby and baby's belongings, etc. But before you can do that, you need to get a grip on his basic obedience. Now. A dog is a lifetime commitment and the BOTH of you owe it to him to make this work. You knew about the dog when you married DH and when you said "I do" you said it to the dog as well. Your DH needs to step up and take some major responsibility for his family here.
Good luck.
I
you!
I know you say you and your h have talked about this before but I find it sad that nothing is finally being done until a baby is on the way. Hopefully your friend can take it. Also, you should be willing to pay for his expenses throughout the rest of his life with her since she already has other animals she is finacially responsible and the fact is she would be doing you a huge favor.