Parenting

And another craptastic Mother's Day in the books

I am so hurt/pissed. It started off great. Breakfast with the MIL and then lunch with my mom. We get a call from MIL when she went to visit DH's gma and she laid into MIL about how we ignored her for the holiday.

We went over yesterday and gave her a card with a new pic. of Audrey. It's the exact same thing, my gma got and DH's other gma. It's the same thing we give her every year. She went on and on about she was supposed to go to breakfast with us and how we didn't get her anything. MIL called DH about it and he freakin' threw me under the bus. He said, oh I thought I was going to get them more. We werte together when we out for the gma's. He thought it was fine. She said that she should be special and get special gifts. I didn't even get a freakin' card. DH wants me to get her a gift card to somewhere and we'll pretend it didn't make it into the card. I told him if he wanted to do it then go ahead, but I won't. I am so done not being good enough and nothing will make her happy.

I did get my tree planted though. My whole day is shot and I jsut want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine and a book.

Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image

Re: And another craptastic Mother's Day in the books

  • Sorry your day was ruined :( I have relatives like that, so I can understand the frustration. I'll never understand how someone can come out and tell you the gift you gave them wasn't good enough and they deserve more/better. I don't care how old/young you are...that's just plain rude!
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  • This is just how his gma is. It's no wonder her sons moved out west away from her. I should know it by now, but I am too sensitive.
    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
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  • I'm so sorry:( If it makes you feel any better, my SIL is totally pissed off at me as well (and it has to do with Mother's Day, of course). Listen, try not to let this bother you! You did everything right. I mean, it sounds liek you did more than enough by going over to her house yesterday and giving her a picture and card. If she wants to act like a pain in the ass, that's fine, but you have EVERY right to ignore her behavior. Take all the good things that happened today...breakfast and lunch, your planted tree, the fact that you are a wonderful mother and that you got to spend time with your mother and MIL, and focus only on that which make you happy:) Screw the rest of the people who are going to go as far as to make you feel like *** on YOUR day.

  • You can't ever win with people like that, so I don't even try. Don't let them get to you, because that's what they want. They are so frustrated that they can't control you. You could do 10 really awesome things for them, but the next time something doesn't go their way, all of the good stuff is forgotten. I have a friend like that.
  • YodajoYodajo member
    I'm sorry. You are a mom too and should be celebrated as well instead of worrying about pleasing everyone elsem. How mentally and physically exhausting! I'mm sure you mentioned it before, but Iforget- why is taking so much responsibility for her care on you and your DH's shoulders and not on your MIL's?
    DS1 10-06 and DS2 9-08 and baby #3 EDD 9-05-12
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  • MIL is DH's step-mom. His bio-mom died when DH was 3. His uncles live out west, so DH is all she has here. She's an old, sick, bitter woman. DH has a good relationship with her, but I feel like she manipulates him. I keep my mouth shut, since she's so old and very fraile and declining.
    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • YodajoYodajo member
    I see. Is your DH's dad living? Really, I read a lot of your posts about her and I think you handle things wonderfully. Its hard and a lot to deal with on a daily basis. ((Hugs))
    DS1 10-06 and DS2 9-08 and baby #3 EDD 9-05-12
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  • He is, but she's been just awful to him. SHe was one of the reasons why DH's mom and dad got divorced before she died. He helps when DH asks, but only when DH really needs it
    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • 4Speedy4Speedy member

    Yodajo, I think you are misunderstanding--the grandma is the Mother of Rebekah's DH's deceased mom.  Her DH's dad and "new" wife have nothing to do with this grandma--she is not related to them.

    Rebekah, you bust your ass to take care of your DH's grandma and he throws you under the bus repeatedly when it comes to her.  If I were you, I would tell him if he is so dissatisfied with how you handle things, then you would be happy to step aside so that he can handle things just the right way. 

    I'm sorry your day took a turn for the worse.  Rest assured that us Nesties think you are a great mom, wife and granddaughter-in-law.  No, strike that--great is not a strong enough word to describe the lengths you go to to take of that bitter old bat.  What ever word is greater than great, that's what you are.

  • Speedy -
    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • Speedy -

    I did have a talk with DH about it. He had to sit and listen because it's Mother's Day and I was really just that upset. I honestly think he's so defensive of her because he knows how awful she is and how anyone could drop her like a bad habit. We talked about us being fair to all the gma's. i told him if wanted to something special for her then so be it, but I'm just not going to do it. We finished the evening with the understanding that he needs to do more when it comes to her and making her happy and I will handle the more practical things for her.

    I am also taking next Sunday off from going to her place. I also draw the line at cutting her Godzilla toenails.

     

    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • (((hugs)))  She probably complains because it gives her something to talk about.  And the resulting drama keeps her life active for the next couple of days.  Tell your MIL that she needs to realize g-ma is just going to complain no matter what and that if everyone ignores it then it will go away. 

    And girl, tell DH he owes you a mulligan mother's day!  Next Sunday, you need to sleep in, have DH take YOU out for a great breakfast and bring you flowers. 

    .
  • YodajoYodajo member

    speedy-you are right, I was thinking it was the FIL's mom.  Weird it didn't even cross my mind any other way.

    And ditto Dande about the Mulligan for next Sunday.  DH gave me my MD on Sat since yesterday was so busy with running around for us. 

    DS1 10-06 and DS2 9-08 and baby #3 EDD 9-05-12
    imageimage
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