Frustrated and sad at DH (Long)

madladybride

Short background - I've had 2 mc's. My doctors say that I "bleed more than normal". I had an emergency d&c last May and nearly died from blood loss.

So, DH says that he is ready to try again. We try for 2 monhts (I know this is a short amount of time.) My last AF, I was SO hormonal and sick of it all, that I basically vowed to call and get my tubes tied, not because I don't want to get pregnant, but because I can't handle the stress of NOT getting pregnant. (Dr.'s says that I should be able to get pg.) He says, "Let's try for 3 more months and see what happens." I say "Ok, but in order to get pregnant we actually have to do it WHEN I AM FERTILE, which is every other day between CD 14 and CD 20. If we don't do it then, I can pretty much guarantee we will not get pg. " He's like "ok."

Well this cycle, we do CD 14, 16 and try to do CD18, but he is having issues. I know it's not his fault, but I am so sad, frustrated and pissed off. Sex is work for both of us. I don't enjoy sex and if I can't get pregnant from it, I frankly think it's pointless.  He's like " we can try again in the morning or tomorrow." and I say " I have to go to work and I won't be in the mood. Plus, who knows if you will have problems tomorrow. Waiting a day may be too late." I know I shouldn't have said it, but I am just so upset and frustrated.

 

Part of me thinks that I should give up the idea of ever having kids (getting pregnant) or adopting. We really cannot afford to adopt and I really wanted to be pregnant.It may be easier on us to get used to the idea of not having kids. I mean, if we don't BD when I am fertile, then I won't get pregnant. Simple, right?

 

Thanks for listening.

Texas77again

i could have written the emotional side and the sex part of this post myself.  i have felt this exact.same.way.over and over again. 

this is why we are trying IUI, hopefully it will fix the timing and finishing issues that we have.

it's an uphill battle girl, i'm sorry. 

DoingItRight

I am so sorry that you are having to go though this.  I feel a lot of the same feelings and have some of the same issues with DH.  This cycle we are going to try every other day (when I am not traveling for work) so that way he won't know when my fertile time is and cannot use that as an excuse.

jms2005

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you and DH considered counseling? There are a lot of emotional issues that can affect the physical side of TTC, so it might help to talk to someone. (((hugs))) I hope things get better soon.

madladybride

I may look into counseling. Of course DH is not interested, but I think that is pretty typical for guys.

Faith_10

Ditto on the IUI. Sex definitely feels like work. And I hate that it does but it does. It was nice to have the IUI and not have to worry about having to worry about sex for that cycle.

Texas77again

i go to counseling by myself.  he says we don't have marriage problems so we don't need to go.  i got tired of waiting for him to come arond, so i decided to just go alone. 

jen629

I am sorry you are going through this it is such a hard road and all I can offer is {{{HUGS}}} we are here for you

rock-elle

I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this, I can sympathize with you on so many levels.

Olive44

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time.  I can definitely identify with what you are feeling.  This whole process is just so rough on us.  (((hugs)))