Nap (with a nanny or other CP) help! (long)
I am mainly a lurker but was hoping you might have some words of wisdom for me. TIA.
My DD just turned one on the 19th of April. We bed share and
breast feed. Our nightly routine goes something like this- Dinner, bath,
lavender lotion massage/naked time, nurse to sleep in bed with me (she
is asleep between 8:-8:30) then I lay in bed with her and watch tv or
read or whatever until around 9:30-10 and then do a few things at night
and am back in bed by 11:00 or so for the night. She sleeps until 8:00am
with a few wake ups but like most of you that bed share I don't even
notice.
I work away from home Mon.-Thurs. Mon.-Wed. DD is with a
nanny with another baby her same age. Thursday she is with my MIL. My
MIL has said many times that DD doesn't nap at her house. I just chalked
this up to her starting to take her to her house instead of watching
her at our house (DD has only been going there the last 6 weeks or so). I
figured as she got more comfortable there she would nap better.
However, yesterday my nanny sat me down to talk about DD's sleep habits
and to say they are not working. She thinks that DD is unable to self
sooth (without the boob) and it is getting harder for her to attend to
both kids' needs (especially during nap time). She said that she puts
the other baby down for a nap and then wears DD until she falls asleep
and then she tries to put her down but she wakes up at the sound of the
buckle unclicking. She simply cannot sleep alone.
I feel really bad
because I have worked so hard to develop a healthy and secure attachment
and I although I love that DD loves me (and my milk) so much I want to
her to be able to comfort herself or at least be comforted by others
easily. I don't think that it helps that the other baby in the nanny
share was sleep trained at 4 months and his parents have him CIO for
naps as well. The nanny and MIL know that this is absolutely not allowed
for my DD but I can't help but think that that is what they want me to
do.
I just ordered The No-Cry Nap Solution and was going to read it
and have the nanny and MIL read it as well and that way we can all use
the same techniques and provide consistency.
I am wondering if any
of you have any other ideas. We are working on a lovey but DD has just
not taken to one but I keep trying. Any suggestions would be greatly
appreciated. Thank you.
Re: Nap (with a nanny or other CP) help! (long)
We've struggled with sleep issues like this, too. DD nursed to sleep until she was about 18 months old. The sitter we had during the day until she was 11 months old was able to get her to fall asleep for naps while drinking a bottle of EBM, but when I switched to working at home more and had only occasional help, this system fell apart. (And I didn't leave DD with anyone in the evening at all until after 18 months when she wasn't nursing to sleep anymore).
The sitter who started with us when DD was 15 months old was able to get her to nap when she took her out for a walk in the stroller. She always tried to get her to nap at home first, then took her out when it wasn't working. After a few months, she was able to successfully get her to nap at home by just reading to her while she was in the crib and then sitting in the rocking chair in front of the crib until DD was asleep. It's pretty labor intensive and not ideal for someone without A LOT of patience. But it did work from September until about 2 weeks ago when I started weaning DD completely and she seemed to decide she was done napping.
I don't really have any solutions for you, but wanted to let you know that DS is the same way. My nanny wears him in the Ergo for all of his naps. When my nanny or my mom can't watch him, DH and I have to stay home from work because everyone else I know has a baby and they can't deal with the naps.
The No-Cry Nap Solution does have a lot of ideas in it - hopefully some will help you. I can tell you that this weekend, I was able to lay DS down successfully without waking him up several times - this has only happened like twice in his life, so its a huge step. It seems like this is just something that comes with age.
The only other thing I can think of is to tell your nanny that if she wakes up when the thing comes unbuckled to keep bouncing her until she falls asleep again. It should only take a few seconds (it does with DS anyways) and then try to lay her down. I've also noticed that DS sleeps a lot better if he has a pillow or rolled up blanket touching the top of his head (its where my arm usually is when we sleep together) and a rolled up blanket under his knees (he usually drapes his legs over mine).
You might also try to get your nanny to do the pick-up/put down method and just pick her up and get her back to sleep when she wakes up and then put her down again. This is what my babysitter said she had luck with with her kids.
I hope others respond! I am in a similar boat, minus the nanny and other baby.
DD is with my mom, or DH great-grandma- and until recently- an in-home dc. All of a sudden, she HATED dc. Would cry and cry as soon as she saw DC provider. I think one of the things that was happening was CIO at naps, and she associated it with her. We are no longer there! Anyway, she still has the nap issue. At home, I nurse her down, and others *try* to get her down with the bottle. Sometimes it works, sometimes there is no nap. Not ideal. Sometimes it takes 1+ hr for whoever is watching her to get her down- if - that is.
At home, for night sleep we have started using a floor bed in her room. Its worked well, though I am still in there with her when I am ready to go to sleep- we don't have to stay by her side. This has helped her settle herself when I think she needs help- she really didn't and was able to comfort herself. If she really needs me, she sits up and wines- then I come to her (I have a vid monitor) 2nd, it's given me back my evenings which is good for DH and I! As for naps- we will start naps in HER bed this week. Then I'm going to set one up at my moms so my mom can use it there.
So, that might be an idea?