Attachment Parenting
yeshuahamasshiah
member
Tearing... your XP!
yeshuahamasshiah
member
I have heard time and time again of all these horror stories on how many of my friends ripped from their very alpha to the back side of their omega. Some had episiotomies (not sure if i spelled that right) and some just tore. Of course the vast majority labored on their back and all but one gave birth at a hospital.
So, any homebirthers or even hospital birthers out there that DID NOT TEAR, RIP or GOT CUT???
Did you do perennial massages? did they actually work? or does the fact of not laboring on your back and allowing for gravity to help with the baby in a vertical position actually help in not tearing??
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Re: Tearing... your XP!
ME! No tears at all, and certainly no cutting, with an over 8 pounder.
I had a hospital birth, but in a very natural birth friendly hospital, with a very supportive midwife.
I did perineal massage every night for about three weeks before delivery, and also did a bunch of Kegels. I have to think that helped a lot.
I got to the hospital at 9 cm, so I spent the great majority of labor moving around, sitting in the tub, standing, walking, etc. I did push on my back, once I got to the hospital. It's not what I had planned on, but really, once I got there, it was the way I was most comfortable. I told the MW and the nurses when a contraction was coming and when I would be pushing. They completely let me direct it. I pushed for an hour and a half. I asked the MW if I should switch positions at one point because it seemed to be taking so long and I was getting a little stressed, but she said no, if I was comfortable where I was, she would rather wait and let my body do what it felt like it should, and not try to rush things along. I think she was right.
Birth definitely can be done without a nightmare tear. I am sure it's a combination of luck, perineal and Kegels, listening to you body and a patient, supportive care provider.
Good luck!
I didn't tear. I had a hospital birth with a wonderful midwife. I had a teeny-tiny scratch from his hand, but I healed in a day and a half. I barely even bled. I only had post-partum bleeding for 3 days, and I had good sex with my husband 3 weeks after our baby was born.
I did penineal massage, but not a lot. I did TONS of kegels.
My midwife had me do "mother-directed pushing" (no counting to 10, just push when you feel the urge) and asked me not to push while he was crowning and at the beginning of my 3rd stage of labor, until I absolutely couldn't hold back anymore.
When I did push, it was in a squatting position.
The most important part was listening to my midwife when she told me NOT to push, which was hard! But it kept me in one piece! I actually had an orgasm as he was coming out, if you can believe it. Weird, I know... but 10 minutes after I had David, I asked my husband when we could have another baby! It was a magical experience.
wow, I want an orgasm while birthing! sounds magical
I had very minimal tearing (hospital birth, nonmedicated). I labored awhile in the bathtub at the hospital, so I really think that helped soften and stretch me. Also, I controlled all of my pushing.
The tearing I did experience, I certainly did not feel while she was coming out. It hurt a little to pee after the birth, and hurt a lot to go poop, but I think that's normal and not necessarily related to the tear.
Good luck!
I was *not* expecting it, but I was open to the idea and had read about it. I felt very comfortable and safe, which I think makes the difference. Everyone always talks about labor being horrible and terrifying, but for me it was empowering and wonderful. I can't wait to do it again!
I'm not exactly sure about the physics/mechanics of the whole thing except I know that delivering in the squatting position can greatly reduce your risk of tearing because it distributes the baby's force evenly as it's delivered.
Also, practicing squatting throughout pregnancy can help to stretch your perineum. I did that every so often. I didn't do perineal massage during pregnancy but I think (lol) my midwife did it as I was pushing when his head got close.
I ended up pushing on my hands and knees and that is how DS was born. Can't say for sure that that is why I only had a very minor tear that needed one suture but I do think that certainly helped me not tear very badly at all.
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
I'm doing my doula training right now. I witnessed one birth recently where the mom (first-time mom) did not tear at all. It was a homebirth/waterbirth. She labored the baby down/breathed the baby down for a while and ended up pushing only three times. She was on her hands and knees in the tub when she pushed and delivered.
At another birth I've seen recently with very minimal tearing (the CNM said she'd call it a half-degree tear, if there was such thing), the mom (second-time mom) was in a hospital (but a natural birth-friendly hospital) with a CNM. The whole labor went ridiculously fast. She too labored the baby down and only pushed a few times. She labored on her hands and knees, but did the laboring down and pushing in a semi-reclining position in the hospital bed. The CNM did do warm compresses as the baby was crowning.
i had a hospital birth, (had a shot of morphine a few hours into labor, and then a few minutes with laughing gas right before i started pushing) and pushed in a sitting up position on the bed - the nurse and DH held my legs. LO came out within 5 minutes of pushing, and I stopped pushing completely when he was crowning to give myself time to stretch - i had minimal tearing (no stitches needed). I had a very fast and easy labor.
I remember my Doctor kept reminding me "when you feel burning, that is good! you are stretching, and that means no tearing". We didn't do any perineal massages, but i think my Doctor helped with the stretching while i pushed. I was doing Kegels quite a bit tho.
IMO it is a a crap shoot. I know somebody who had a waterbirth wth a midwife and tore horribly. She still has lingering side effects.
I had a traditional hospital birth with a traditional ob. I was on pitocin so I had to labor and push on my back. I also did directed pushing (three counts of ten) I pushed for two hours, which I think helped stretch my skin a lot (DD kept coming out and going back in). I barely tore at all, and I think the tear I did have was because her arm was up by her head. superman style.
I did lots of squats before delivery, and lots of yoga. I think that did help, but the long labor and long pushing period also probably helped. My ob also had me stop and wait as she crowned to let my skin stretch.
I had a hospital birth in a natural child birth friendly hospital. I had a pain shot about 3-4 hours before birth.
I started pushing on my hands and knees (and flipped her from Sunny-side-up!!), then labored on my left side with one knee up in the hair (which coincidentally is how my Mom had me!)
All together, I pushed for 45 minutes. My MW did massages the entire time I was pushing.
I had 2 lacerations (one of which turned into a granuloma, but thats just because I scar funny), neither of which required stitches.
They told me that they had never seen a first time Mom push so well. I went really slow (Um... I couldn't feel the contractions after she flipped...) and although DH counted to ten for me, it was not directed pushing other than that.
I didn't do squats (because my knees wouldn't let me), but I've heard they help a lot! Try and make sure your LO isn't sunny-side up, as that can cause worse tearing.
I agree with the craps shoot. My water broke and 14hrs later I was still 3 and just then feeling painful contractions so got an epidural b/c I knew c/s was the next thing coming my way. I ended up dilating to 9 in 2 hrs and had a 7#12oz baby that was OP so I pushed for 4 hrs and had a vacuum w/ 3 pop-offs then had to push her out on my own -- so it was obviously a tight boney fit-- but I only had a 1st degree tear despite the swelling of my prolonged pushing.
On the other hand, I have delivered my share of babies and some mom's tear some don't, I do massage and release muscular bands then attempt to get everyone to let baby stretch perineum while crowning but some tolerate this and others can't.... try not to stress about it.
From what I've read, the vast majority of 4th degree tears (from your V to your A) are the result of episiotomies that tear further. The best way to avoid a 4th degree tear is to make sure that you do not get an episiotomy, which is 100% up to your doctor/midwife.
I had a 2nd degree tear, which required several stitches, and which I really don't think healed properly.
Hospital birth, non-medicated, moved around all through labor, pushed at my own pace in a semi-reclined position. I'd agree that there are no guarantees.
I tried to perineal massage but I just got bored. I did it 3 times, not sure i did it properly.
I ended up with 2 stitches. A 9 pound girl. A hospital birth, that was very "natural" friendly.
I spent most of my labour standing in the shower, rocking my hips. The birthing stool was horrible for me.
I spent sometime in the bath which is where I started pushing. So naturally I was on my back.
Midwife was concerned LO was getting stuck and wanted easier access, so I got out of the bath and onto a bed. I pushed her out whilst on my back.
In hindsight I'm pretty sure she got "stuck" because I was holding back from pushing because I was scared of tearing.
It was only when my midwife said, "you can't hold back, you have to push as hard as you can" that I ignored the pain and really pushed hard.
I didn't need any help in getting her out, in the end.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
This was one of my biggest fears going into labour too (along with pooping on the table... haha), and honestly, don't worry about it. I had a transfered homebirth after 25 hours of labour, having my water broken at home, and being stuck at 6cm. I went to the hospital where I was immediately given some narcotic, laughing gas, and an epi (so almost every drug you can be given), then had to be given pitocin AND pushed for four hours.
Turns out DD's fist was by her head and the cord was wrapped around her shoulder holding her arm in place, and because of her elbow coming out like that, I ended up with a 2nd degree tear that needed quite a few stitches. I didn't feel myself tear (just felt the burning of the crowning stage), and getting stitches down there wasn't a big deal either. I was too busy being astonished by my new baby!! Recovery was fine. I mean, ya, I bled a lot for a while, but I wasn't in pain or anything. I just had to make sure to use my peri bottle while I peed, and there was no pain at all. Don't listen to the horror stories, because that's not the norm, and sometimes I think people who tell them exaggerate quite a bit to make their story sound better. ;-)
You'll be fine, and a few weeks, or even days after your LO is born, you won't remember much anyway!
And PS- My fear about pooping on the table? I did that too, and it also wasn't a big deal. I just joked with my MW and the nurses about it, and find it pretty funny now. ;-)
I agree with pp. the horror stories are not the norm.
Sure they happen, but there are a whole heap of things that can go wrong, in birth and in life and it's not worth dwelling on them.
Like pp, the stitches being done were a complete non-issue and I healed quickly as well. For me it was only really tender for a couple of days.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Totally agree with the crapshoot comment.
I was induced at 39 weeks (due to very high BP) and had a second degree tear. Apparently DD's head was fine, but her shoulders tore the crap out of me. But I barely felt it, and recovery was not that bad. Even my first poo (the next day) was completely uneventful. I was a bit achey for a few weeks when I was sitting, but nothing to terrible.
I think it's just one of those things where if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. No point in worrying about it...you'll definitely survive!
I had a 4th degree tear, but I ended up getting induced, needed an epi which left me on my back and they ended up using forceps so I didn't have to get a C-section. I had no control over my own body, and the hospital staff were rushing me.
I think the biggest thing is if you are the one running the show, you will have a better chance of not tearing.
I did perineal massage with evening primrose oil and it really didn't feel very good and obviously didn't help much. I hear doing it during labor, and also using a warm washcloth for pressure during can help, but I wasn't in a situation to have that happen.
Own yourself, own your body and know you can't control the situation but you can be fully present. Your feelings and your body are important, so listen to them.
That's weird. I was on Pit, too, and I labored and pushed in every position but on my back! lol I didn't have an epi though...
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three