I can't do this anymore :( long - edited

L&J0804

Someone please help me. My son is 2 months old and I am so sleep deprived I can't even think straight. He is EBF and only goes 3 hours max between feedings, even at night. the problem is at night, he takes at least an hour to go back to sleep AFTER he finishes nursing for 30 minutes. So, if I'm lucky, I get 90 minutes of sleep at a time, but usually I'm wide awake after being up for 1.5-2 hours at that point and can't fall back to sleep right away. He will be falling asleep in my arms but is wide awake when I put him in his crib. He can't/won't put himself back to sleep, so I have to pick up/put down numerous times until he finally passes out (only to be up again in an hour).I know I cant let him CIO yet but sometimes I am so frustrated at him that I start to consider it. Sometimes when I get that upset w/ him I will get my husband up to help get him back to sleep, but it's pointless to deprive him of sleep b/c I cant sleep hearing my baby cry anyway.

 I know I can't expect him to STTN yet, and honestly 2 or 3 feedings at night wouldn't be so bad if he would just GO TO SLEEP after he's done eating. How does everyone else just put their kid down at night without their baby waking right back up, or go down drowsy and put themselves to sleep?  I have to go back to work soon and I don't know how I'm going to survive. I am so sad b/c now my husband doesn't want any more kids based on how hard of a time we're having with this one. The worst part is we tried so hard to get pregnant with him and I feel terrible that I'm not really appreciating him, especially on my maternity leave. But how can i enjoy him when I'm a walking zombie?

So I guess if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do I would really appreciate it. Anyone have success with NCSS or baby whisperer? Thanks.

 

**We have tried the heating pad, we swaddle, we have tried a paci, we have the seahorse, FP aquarium (both of those seem to just stimulate him), the homedics sound spa machine. In the night we do no lights or eye contact, feed him swaddled. I don't want to co sleep b/c I'm too light of a sleeper. I would get even less sleep than I do now.

mjcleve

You're lucky if you have a breastfed baby that goes down in their crib easily.  DS2 is better than DS1, but he is still usually in bed with me after his first stretch of sleep.  They have a hard time being away from you - is he in a basinette next to your bed, because I would recommend it if not (plus swaddled).  I'm pretty sure that's why DS2 is doing better than DS1.

 

bakershaker

I was so sleep deprived at my sons 2 month birthday and I was wondering why he was the only baby I knew who was still waking up 3+ times a night to eat. The next day we started 'The Baby Whisperer" and our life was sooo much better! We put him on a routine, and used the shh/pat to get him to sleep rather then nursing or holding him to sleep. It took a LONG 2 nights, but then he started STTN and in the day he was a much happier baby. I think babies get into their own "routines" and his night wakings were out of habit instead of hunger.  We have been doing BW with my daughter since birth and now at 7 weeks she has been STTN for 2 weeks straight.

violetblue72

You described how DS #1 slept in the beginning.  And you described exactly how I felt in the beginning!

The one thing I changed with DS #2 is that I sleep with him at night.  I am temporarily in the guest room with him in a bassinet next to me until he starts to sleep better.  Once he wakes up to eat, I pull him into bed with me and that's where he stays for the night.  Both DH and I are fine with this arrangement for now because we both get sleep.   At this stage right now, much more important than sleeping together (for us at least). 

If it's something you are comfortable with and you follow the right safety guidelines, I'd consider it.  It has made such a difference for me this time around.  I nurse him and he falls right back asleep.

I'll leave it to others to offer other solutions as nothing else worked for me with DS #1.

 

L&J0804

Forgot to add that he is swaddled as well. I couldn't sleep well with him in our room, so he was in his PNP in the dining room until a few nights ago we moved him to the crib. No matter where I put him down he has a hard time going to sleep.

Kelly-renee

the only way DD will go down, though she is younger than your LO is in her boppy (pediatrician said it was fine).  We have to swaddle her, and sometimes I'll pick her back up and nurse if she isn't asleep or at least closing her eyes within 5 minutes, I nurse just to the point where she falls asleep.  Then I put her down, and hope for the best, about 80% of the time she falls asleep after this, sometimes we have to do one more quick nursing round though.  Her crib is pulled up next to our bed so all I have to do is sit up and pick her up, it was much harder when we had to get out of bed.

SigmundsGirl

First let me say how sorry I am that you are going through this. I am in a very similar situation. The Happiest Baby on the Block methods have helped a little for us. DS fights being swaddled, but once he is in his swaddle it is much easier to get him to sleep. I have also noticed that he is sleeping longer because he doesn't wake himself up by hitting himself in the head.

Our DS doesn't nap well either, unless he is on me like he is now, but I have noticed that DS sleeps better at night when we have gone out during the day. I think he needs different stimulation than what we have at home. I guess he is bored with the same old things.

Can your DH take the baby when he gets home and let you get several hours of sleep in the evening? For a week when it was really bad DH and I would let take 3 hour shifts and let DS sleep on us. I would have 1 bottle pumped so DH could feed him one time over night so I could sleep longer. We did 4 three hour shifts so we each got 6 hours of sleep.

I hope things get better soon!

jarbatz

I agree with pp that Baby Whisperer is a great book and has many good tips!   My DD is definitely not the example....she doesn't sleep through the night but she has been sleeping in her crib since about 2 weeks....she's naps pretty well most days and does not need to be rocked to go to sleep.  

I BF the first 4 weeks and night times were the toughest part and probably part of the reason I gave it up...not saying you should quit BF...but just that I think its a little harder than FF.   Everyone i know told me it gets easier though.

Also - watch or read "Happiest Baby on the Block"....also offer great tips for soothing and calming baby.  Swaddling, Shushing, Sucking (don't be afraid to offer LO a paci), Swing...

Last - use your DH whenever you need him....even if you don't sleep, at least you are getting a break!  It helps you keep your sanity at least.  And try to nap during the day if/when LO naps.

 

lovemesomepbj

Does he take a bottle?  Is there any way you can pump and give him a bottle at night?  That way DH can take a few of the feedings too?  I wasn't able to BF DS for very long, but I did BF DD for a year and this helped a lot.  You could eventually drop on of those nighttime pumping sessions and it shouldn't affect your supply. 

Also, the FP Rock and Play has been a GODSEND for us.  We had the same problem in the beginning with DS as far as him to being able to go back down.  After we got this thing, it's no longer been an issue.  Our bed is low to the ground and I don't even take him out to feed him. 

 I know exactly how you feel.  Being sleep deprived really messes with your head.  I hope you can find some relief soon.

kmpls

My son sleeps about the same as yours. You are not alone. My husband will take him for part of the night and in the morning I snuggle with DS and nurse so, we get a little catnap.

good luck.

grapeape73

Is there a reason you can't co sleep?  When LO wakes up I pick her up, unswaddle her, and lay down in bed to nurse.  I don't turn on any lights, or change her.  Most of the time her eyes are still closed when we lay down.  When she is finished, if I am still awake I swaddle her back up, and put her back in the bassinet right next to the bed.  I turn on her seahorse, and she is out. 

Sometimes I will just keep her in bed with me if we fall asleep that way.  

I did the NCSS with DD and it worked, but she was much older.  I personally think she was just ready to be a better sleeper when I tried it.

carrotcake06

We bought an XL heating pad & warm his crib while I BF.  That way his sheets are warm & he's more likely to sleep faster. 

I also hand him off to DH at night when I'm finished BF.  I know you said its hard fo you to go back to sleep, but the rest is worth it.

DS still wakes 3+ times a night, but these things help him to go down quickly after he eats & for me to get some sleep.

 Hang in there.  It'll get better (or so everyone has told me).

jilicious

bakershaker:

I was so sleep deprived at my sons 2 month birthday and I was wondering why he was the only baby I knew who was still waking up 3+ times a night to eat. The next day we started 'The Baby Whisperer" and our life was sooo much better! We put him on a routine, and used the shh/pat to get him to sleep rather then nursing or holding him to sleep. It took a LONG 2 nights, but then he started STTN and in the day he was a much happier baby. I think babies get into their own "routines" and his night wakings were out of habit instead of hunger.  We have been doing BW with my daughter since birth and now at 7 weeks she has been STTN for 2 weeks straight.

You have been waking your 7 week old every 45 minutes to an hour and that hasn't negatively impacted her sleeping at night? That is the one thing that really gave me pause about BW, since everything else suggests letting a newborn sleep (to a three hour max).

RadicalDreamer143

Coming from the most anti-bedsharing person... I ended up bedsharing.  Completely ate my words on that idea, because being able to fall asleep immediatly after feeding Liam helps me remain normal.  I am not slep deprived at all as a result.  He had me trained by day 5, LOL.  I'm not really looking forward to training him to use his crib, but he starts daycare in two weeks, and I really need to get started.

broomy

My LO will usually fall asleep pretty quickly when we use white noise (I use ocean wave sounds on my iPod), and it helps me get back to sleep, too.

bakershaker

jilicious:

bakershaker:

I was so sleep deprived at my sons 2 month birthday and I was wondering why he was the only baby I knew who was still waking up 3+ times a night to eat. The next day we started 'The Baby Whisperer" and our life was sooo much better! We put him on a routine, and used the shh/pat to get him to sleep rather then nursing or holding him to sleep. It took a LONG 2 nights, but then he started STTN and in the day he was a much happier baby. I think babies get into their own "routines" and his night wakings were out of habit instead of hunger.  We have been doing BW with my daughter since birth and now at 7 weeks she has been STTN for 2 weeks straight.

You have been waking your 7 week old every 45 minutes to an hour and that hasn't negatively impacted her sleeping at night? That is the one thing that really gave me pause about BW, since everything else suggests letting a newborn sleep (to a three hour max).

No we don't wake her. She wakes..eats and has her "a" time and goes back to sleep for 1.5-3 hours. When she was a "new" baby we let her sleep as long as she would like. But now she has 3 naps a day each of 1.5-2.5 hours and she sleeps at night from 7:30 pm till 7 a.m straight through. Baby Whisperer doesn't advise you wake them up after 45 mins....you must have read the book wrong. Your baby should nap way longer then that!

Courtney&Jason

First of all, I'm sorry you are going through this.  I know sleep deprivation is difficult.  From about 2 months to 5 months, LO was waking every 1 1/2 hours.

The only thing that saved me was bed-sharing.  I would roll over, nurse her and then reswaddle and shush her back to sleep.  Once she started sleeping longer stretches, we moved her back to the PNP and then the crib.

Once she hit 6 months, then we started Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

I would try either bed sharing or move your LO in a bassinet or PNP in your room. 

ahappygilmore

I agree with the bassinet or co-sleeper or pnp in your room. We did this for the first 10 weeks of DS life. He never went back to sleep that well during that time and rarely slept longer than 2 hours, but not having to get out of bed to get him was at least some help. We moved him to the crib at 10 weeks and it was rough, and honestly......it still is not that great. We have good nights and bad, but he still does not sleep longer than 4 hours (usually less). He DOES however, go right back to sleep after nursing now.

I have been back to work for two months and have adjusted, its hard but you just do what ya gotta do. I know that sometimes it seems like everyones baby on the bump sttn so quickly......that is not the norm!

Hang in there, and I hope it gets better for you soon. It does get better, but just know that your doing your best and you are a great mom!

soko987

L&J - I just wanted you to know that my PSA was not in response to this post. Clearly, this was not a CIO post. I did respond to you in my OP. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, and I hope it gets better for you.