biting at daycare (long) help please!! — The Bump
North Carolina Babies

biting at daycare (long) help please!!

anyone gone through this? henry's being bitten by several of his classmates. it seems he's a bully-magnet. he's quite the hugger, and apparently, he'll hug even when someone doesn't want it, and therefore gets bitten. what's your daycare's policy on biting? do they have a 3 strikes & you're out rule?

henry goes to a crunchy/hippy school. like they do yoga, crunchy. so they have an inclusion policy. they had a behaviorist come out to the school to observe the behavior, and she concluded that there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. our first option is to move henry up a class, into the "middler" class. it's only 7 kids right now with 2 teachers, and is supposedly a quieter/calmer class. my worry though is that he's not as advanced in communication as the other kids in there, he barely talks at all. also, he's NOT a calm kid. at all. or quiet either. he'd be the youngest by a month, but the next youngest is a girl and talking in sentences LOL

has anyone moved up classes early? i'm so hesitant because i LOVE his teachers, but on the other hand, they move everyone in the classes up at the same time and keep a teacher, so he'd be with the biter(s) pretty much forever. i do know and understand that it's an age-appropriate behavior, but we're getting to be sick of it. henry has a nasty bite on his cheek, and his whole cheek is black and blue.

i have an exam in an hour, so i'll not be around for a little while, but i just wanted to see if anyone had any experience.

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Re: biting at daycare (long) help please!!

  • I have not experienced anything with bitting at daycare.  If it were me, I would move my DS up to the other class. If there is only a 1 month difference I don't think it would be a problem.  Maybe he would start communicating better in a more "vocally" advanced class.  GL

  • There is a biter in Eli's class.  It just started recently, and they're not really sure what's going on with the kid.  I know who it is (gotta love toddlers that can tell you) and he's actually a pretty good kid.  And I've always liked his mom and think he has a good home life.  Eli has been bitten several times in the past few weeks, sometimes twice in the same week.  They don't have a strict 3 strikes and you're out type of thing.  Unfortunately, it is normal behavior for toddlers.  And it sucks to be on the receiving end.  I just think if they kicked every kid out that bit 3 times, they'd be kicking them out left and right.  I know the teachers are watching him really closely now and trying to prevent the bites, and I know his mom is working on it at home.  So I guess at this point we just have to wait and see if it stops, and then discuss options if it doesn't.  The biter is older than Eli, so he would be the one moved up to the next class if they take that step.

    In your case, I would go ahead and move him up.  1 month is really nothing and he'll adjust quickly.  But I hate to say it's probably not going to be the end of the biting.  Another kid might bite, or that kid will be in the middle class soon enough.  And I know that sometimes the bites are not unprovoked.  Eli might push a kid, and the kid might bite him back.  Obviously biting is a bigger offense, but it's just a different way of communicating their dissatisfaction.  So even though I feel like he's getting bullied, I know sometimes he was guilty of not being nice either.  He just doesn't get written up for it.

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  • I have the biter Embarrassed  Well, it has only happened twice.  He doesn't do it at home so I can't correct him for something he is not doing wrong at home.  He is teething BIG time and needs ok things to bite and the other babies in the room just reach for stuff he has in his mouth and they get bitten because of it.  Just to kind of give you some insight from the other side.  He is not a bad kid or a bully, he is simply teething.  Maybe that is all it is with the biter in your class as well?  Unless you know the kid is bad I wouldn't assume that to be the case and would think it may pass.  However, Ben has never left a significant mark.

     In your case though I would probably move him on up.  Like pp said, he may start to communicate better being in a more advanced class.  I don't think it could hurt him at all if he is only the youngest by 1 month.

    My sweet boy :)
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  • Angel there is a difference in an 11 month old biting and 18month old biting.

     There is a biter at our inhome dc... all of the parents are pretty much fed up with it but there isn't much you can do. The child in our case even bites the dc provider (or has a time or two). Anyway, I just got this book for his mom "Teeth are not for Biting" I'm hoping she'll read it to him over and over again and it will help nothing else seems to help that's for sure. We've started telling Grady to push him away and tell him no if he gets too close. I know that is not perfect but we don't know what else to do and I'm tired of bruises and teeth marks. He bites when he does not get his way or wants a toy someone has or just because there really is not rhyme or reason to it.

    I'd move him up!

  • i'm definitely in no way insinuating that the kid(s) who are biting henry are bad. so don't worry, AP Smile and if it were a bite here or there, it wouldn't be a huge deal, but it's not. grr!!!

    in addition, i do wonder how daycares with really strict biting policies keep kids enrolled! because you're right, mikey, it IS age appropriate. now i'm not one to say my kid's perfect, but many of the bites he's gotten have been when the kid is pissed off at an entirely different situation, turns around and bites, just because he's there.

    coach, maybe i'll slip a "teeth are not for biting" book into the giant stack of books i have to donate LOL!

    lee, you were entirely unhelpful, LOL. i was hoping this might only be an issue for another year or so. still doing it at 3.5?!? NOOOOO!! Crying

    thanks for all your input, i think we're going to sleep on it for a few weeks and see how things go, and if it keeps happening, which seems likely, go ahead and have him visit the older classroom. then, if he doesn't fit in, we'll know that's not an option and move onto option #2, which the directors haven't come up with yet!

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