Question about Graduation from Basic — The Bump
Military Families

Question about Graduation from Basic

My daughter was born on April 1 and my XFI leaves on Tuesday for basic.  He has continually said that he doesn't want/need anyone to come down for the graduation because he can do this on his own.  However, he has always been really close with his family and has been talking about how he is going to miss DD.  (He won't be back from training until Nov.)  

I'm just worried that everyone else is going to have a support system down there for graduation and he is going to miss out and wish someone was there for him.  Is the graduation usually a big thing for families to come too?  I want to be as supportive as possible (especially because his family is Jahovah's Witness so they are not supportive of this at all) but I'm not sure what else I can do for him. :-/    

Re: Question about Graduation from Basic

  • Graduation is a pretty big deal. If you have family, you get to go spend time with them off base. People without anyone go back to the dorms and have free time.

    Most people will have family. In my flight only three people didn't have family come and visit them. However, in the end it is your XFI choice.. he might change his mind while in basic, he might not..

    Another way to be supportive is to send a lot of letters. He might not respond back a lot but he will be able to read all the letters you send him. Letters really help people get through basic and are really important. Send pictures of your LO, I am sure it will brighten his day.

  • Go!  You'll regret not going if you don't. It is a big thing.  There is also family day the day before.  Everyone else will be going off to spend the day with their families.  Your H will be stuck back at the company area if another family doesn't invite him to tag along with them. 

    MH just graduated from a big school with the Army.  I wasn't able to go.  I was heartbroken that everyone else had family to hang out with and he didn't.  One of the females he was in class with invited him to hang out with her and her H.  I was so glad he was able to do that instead of being alone.

    Go and be with him. 

    [IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/160yf86.jpg[/IMG]

    <a href="https://sites.google.com/site/milnestfaq/" target="_blank" title="Military Newlyweds FAQ"><img src="http://tinyurl.com/ya7ofn4" alt="Military Newlyweds FAQ Button" height=86 width=108></a>
  • Loading the player...
  • It is a pretty big deal. Especially for the soldiers. They go through so much during Basic. And then to have their families there to see them graduate kind of makes it all worth it so to speak.
    [IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/ra5maf.jpg[/IMG]


    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt12b7b8.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • That's tough. My H and I didn't go through basic as a couple, but I'd think I'd still want to be there especially to get the pictures with y'alls LO and if you're still thinking about trying to work it out. If he's determined that he doesn't want anyone there though, and he's made that 100% clear, then you might have to just respect his wishes.

    Sorry I'm not more help.

    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/5cy92q.jpg[/IMG]
  • Graduation for my SO was a really big deal, the graduation it self only lasted 30 min and then they were dismissed to be signed out by his family (since we are not married yet I could not do this). They were allowed to spend the day with us outside of base, I think he would love it since it will be such a long time with out being able to see DD. You could always go down and surprise him so he can spend time with DD as well as you.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers We're Finally Three
  • Thanks!  I want to be there for him especially so he can spend time with LO, I'm just hoping he changes his mind.  Even if it is last minute, I'd hop on the next flight to be there for him.

    I plan on sending a letter a week to him, even if I get less replies, but he said he wasn't allowed to receive pictures?  We are hearing so many different things and I think we're both getting flustered with the different stories. 

  • I think that while he's in basic that you should keep telling him that you want to go (if you do). If he ultimately decides he doesn't want you to come then he shouldn't complain about not seeing his daughter in the 7 months he'll have been gone. IMO he'd be selfish for not wanting y'all to come b/c that'd be the only time to see his LO in person during that time.

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/rka6nk.jpg[/IMG]
    6/50
  • image kjh44:

    Thanks!  I want to be there for him especially so he can spend time with LO, I'm just hoping he changes his mind.  Even if it is last minute, I'd hop on the next flight to be there for him.

    I plan on sending a letter a week to him, even if I get less replies, but he said he wasn't allowed to receive pictures?  We are hearing so many different things and I think we're both getting flustered with the different stories. 

    I think it sounds like he's just trying to be tough, but basic's tough and he needs support.

    As far as pictures, I'm not sure, but I do know that you need to use white envelopes and flag/traditional stamps with blue or black ink on the outside. No stickers or pretty decorations.

    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/5cy92q.jpg[/IMG]
  • image kjh44:

    Thanks!  I want to be there for him especially so he can spend time with LO, I'm just hoping he changes his mind.  Even if it is last minute, I'd hop on the next flight to be there for him.

    I plan on sending a letter a week to him, even if I get less replies, but he said he wasn't allowed to receive pictures?  We are hearing so many different things and I think we're both getting flustered with the different stories. 

    He can get pictures. Most people say don't send pictures because a lot of girlfriends/wives send some pretty silly (nude) stuff. Letters are not private and sometimes TIs will open people letters and read them to the whole group.

    No one is going to make fun of your XFI if he gets pictures of his kids. That is a lot different.

     

  • image kjh44:

    Thanks!  I want to be there for him especially so he can spend time with LO, I'm just hoping he changes his mind.  Even if it is last minute, I'd hop on the next flight to be there for him.

    I plan on sending a letter a week to him, even if I get less replies, but he said he wasn't allowed to receive pictures?  We are hearing so many different things and I think we're both getting flustered with the different stories. 

    I sent many pictures to my DH while he was in Basic. Like at least one or two pictures a letter. He loved getting them.

    [IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/ra5maf.jpg[/IMG]


    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt12b7b8.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • He can have pictures just not 90 million pictures. Stick out tongue

    I agree with sgsl2009...he sounds like he's trying to be "tough". 

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/rka6nk.jpg[/IMG]
    6/50
  • I'm going to agree with everyone else..graduation is a huge deal after you've gotten treated like crap for (in my case) 13 weeks. Seeing your family is the best thing there is. You and LO should definitely go, because seeing his baby will probably make him melt (not to mention pictures of adorable little people being held by big "tough" uniformed people are probably the cutest thing on the planet :-D) definitely send him pictures as long as they aren't "risque" and just know, like someone else said, that there is a good chance nothing you write or send will be private, but they can't legally keep it from him. I had every photo sent to me taped up inside my foot locker. When I thought my world was absolutely going to end (because at MC boot camp, sometimes I seriously thought it might lol) I would read my letters and look at the faces smiling back at me and know that everything was ok :-)
  • I went to OK (along with his parents) to my husbands graduation from basic, but not to the AIT graduation. Spending a good amount of time with him about  a third of the way through was awesome. It seemed like his graduation from AIT was a "bigger deal" but his flight home was 9 hours afterwards, so it really didn't make a lot of sense to go down there.

    I will never forget that time that we spent together in OK, and he often comments on it as well.

     

  • image sgsl2009:

    As far as pictures, I'm not sure, but I do know that you need to use white envelopes and flag/traditional stamps with blue or black ink on the outside. No stickers or pretty decorations.

    Is this a new thing?  DH went through BCT 5 years ago at Benning and I used fancy envelopes so that he could always pick mine out in the mail pile (and start on his push-ups early).  But who knows, things change all the time.

    OP, I agree with everyone else, it's kind of a big deal.  Just do what you're planning to do, send letters and pictures and let him know that you want to go and I bet he changes his mind. 

     

    Big Sisters 2/10 & 12/11
    Little Brother 3/1/18
  • image Mass-girl-at-heart:
    image sgsl2009:

    As far as pictures, I'm not sure, but I do know that you need to use white envelopes and flag/traditional stamps with blue or black ink on the outside. No stickers or pretty decorations.

    Is this a new thing?  DH went through BCT 5 years ago at Benning and I used fancy envelopes so that he could always pick mine out in the mail pile (and start on his push-ups early).  But who knows, things change all the time.

    OP, I agree with everyone else, it's kind of a big deal.  Just do what you're planning to do, send letters and pictures and let him know that you want to go and I bet he changes his mind. 

     

    I've always been told if you do white envelopes and don't call attention on yourself with fancy envelopes, you avoid a few more pushups so that you don't have to start on them early. Like I said, I never did basic with my H, but that's what I've been told from multiple people.

    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/5cy92q.jpg[/IMG]
  • image sgsl2009:

    I've always been told if you do white envelopes and don't call attention on yourself with fancy envelopes, you avoid a few more pushups so that you don't have to start on them early. Like I said, I never did basic with my H, but that's what I've been told from multiple people.

    This..

    Same goes with packages. A person in my flight got cookies and the TI ate them in front of her. He ended up giving her one but she got called "cookies" for the rest of her time in Basic. 

  • image shellyxo:
    image sgsl2009:

    I've always been told if you do white envelopes and don't call attention on yourself with fancy envelopes, you avoid a few more pushups so that you don't have to start on them early. Like I said, I never did basic with my H, but that's what I've been told from multiple people.

    This..

    Same goes with packages. A person in my flight got cookies and the TI ate them in front of her. He ended up giving her one but she got called "cookies" for the rest of her time in Basic. 

    My favorite story was someone's girlfriend or wife sent their SO a letter addressed to "Future Colonel LastName". That went over REALLY well.

    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/5cy92q.jpg[/IMG]
  • image sgsl2009:
    image shellyxo:
    image sgsl2009:

    I've always been told if you do white envelopes and don't call attention on yourself with fancy envelopes, you avoid a few more pushups so that you don't have to start on them early. Like I said, I never did basic with my H, but that's what I've been told from multiple people.

    This..

    Same goes with packages. A person in my flight got cookies and the TI ate them in front of her. He ended up giving her one but she got called "cookies" for the rest of her time in Basic. 

    My favorite story was someone's girlfriend or wife sent their SO a letter addressed to "Future Colonel LastName". That went over REALLY well.

    Well that's good to know, I guess DH's Drill Sgts just didn't have any issues with it (lucky me)Big Smile.  I can't imagine putting future anything on there!  He told me about one letter that came stinking of perfume - that guy was still hearing about it at graduation.

    Big Sisters 2/10 & 12/11
    Little Brother 3/1/18
  • he might miss what he is taking for granted... thats what happened with my DH while he was at basic
    Married 11/08/08 TTC since 2009 MC 3/22/10 at 9w4d MC 7/20/10 at 6w5d Homeowners since 2/24/11 BFP Father's Day 6/19/11 Pregnancy Ticker Psalm 139:13,15-16 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb... You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
  • Keep your options open so you maybe able to hop the next flight. It may serve as a great relaxing surprise before he heads to school. I wasn't able to have family there due to coast and timing but I was able to have a former recruiter visit with me. Plus a friend fam invited me along there were some bittersweet moments.

    Hang in there and maybe look into cheating a lil write a two page letter. (here is the cheat idea each training is diff make one letter top page regula plain paper written to read and 2nd pg the back ground faded pics of baby as she grows with the same letter or lil extra love on it. )

     Or try post cards or stamps with baby pics modestly to agree with the not over doining it if having to do physical training for mail. Sometimes getting lots of mail leaves soldier sore if gotten on a hard day. But if not everyday then there is excitement for the next piece of love. You could even pre do some.

    Smash cake!
    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/2v9xilj.jpg[/IMG]
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards