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Alabama Babies
I want to be excited- long vent
You can all flame me for my rant but I really need to get it out.
I want to be excited for my brother and sister in law but I'm having a hard time with it. They got married over Valentines Day weekend and are guess what pregnant. Because they just "never got around to birth control." (They are happy to be expecting) My DH (it's his baby brother) and I had to wait for almost 2 years for medical stuff and then it wasn't extremely hard to get pregnant but not the easiest either. So the fact they just did it is a little frustrating.
Secondly how they know, an early pregnancy test. As of now she is one day late. This bugs because the at home test never worked for me. We tried two before I went to the doctor (knew I was pregnant, and I am obviously) and one after. All negative which means that they don't work for me. It's frustrating that they can have that info like that and I can't. Also they can tell people that early because their risk of miscarriage is a lot less than mine.
Third is apparently she already has a growing tummy. Partially because she is such a little person and I'm sure she is eating too much for being 4 weeks preggers but still I'm 21 weeks and if you don't know it's a baby it looks just like fat. I still fit into all my regular fat clothes. Yes I know I will get bigger and I should be happy I've been that I've stayed small but that was the pride mark I want. But it's bad when people you see all the time can't tell. I WANT MY BUMP!
Fourth and extremely selfish is I wanted my time. This is a big pregnancy to my mom and me (I'm her only girl) but on my DH side we never really get an all about us moment. (yes our wedding was even botched) If the dates are right then his family will be expecting her labor call during the family weekend we planned to take the baby up to see everyone. So yes I wanted this baby (especially since it's a girl a rarity in both families) to kind of give us (okay more me than DH because he doesn't care) that moment in the light where people say "we are so happy and proud of you."
Even bigger problem is that I don't want to tell my DH about it because this brother and him are sooo close. They were the best of buds growing up and even now. His little brother calls about twice a week to just chat. and I don't want DH to be tainted by my frustrations...
So like I said you can all flame me for this and think I'm very petty but I needed to vent. I really deep down am happy for them but just frustrated right now.
PS- Forgot to mention that brother and sister in law have a 5 year old from her first marriage. So it's not like they don't have family already. And she's Jamaican and every-one in DH family is already talking about what a beautiful baby it will be. urggg
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I want to be excited- long vent
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I'm sure after a bit you'll be feeling a bit better about it...look at the positive...your little girl will have a cousin very close in age and that will be so fun for them and really ya'll too.
But I can understand the frustration now, because you wanted your moment...but you aren't any less pregnant, and you will have your moment when the baby is born...no one can take that away from you.
I will say though that there is no possible way she is showing at 4 weeks...no matter how tiny she is. It's bloat.
It's good to vent, and feel free to do it. Just know it'll be okay in the end
Keep up with me @ Koala Fuzz
Let me make sure I understand, the baby is going to be so beautiful because he/she will be mixed race? Cause same race kids aren't as cute or beautiful? I can't tell whether you're white or black obviously so I'm just assuming this is what you meant. In which case whomever in your DH's family is going on and on about that is being very insensitive, especially considering that isn't the only new baby coming to the family.
I'm not going to flame you, we all have our certain feelings sometimes and I think you just needed to get it out. It's good that you're not venting about this to your DH though. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but please know that your baby will too be beautiful and most importantly loved! Make your own moments and don't depend on anyone else to do it for you - especially family. They're unpredictable.
This is such good advice.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Let me just say I 100% completely understand how you feel. I also understand the guilt that comes with it. Like you're a horrible person that you can't be happy for someone else right now. I'm sorry you're struggling with this, but I can tell you that it will pass.
DH and I have been together for 9 years, married for 5 of them. We had a very rocky relationship for a long time. When we finally got to a happy place in our marriage we decided to start a family. I was off bc for 2 years before the BFP in November. 2 weeks later, DH's little brother, that got married in September announced they we also expecting. In January, DH's other little brother (twin) annouced he was expecting too!
I was really happy that the cousins would be so close in age...until SIL had a u/s before I did and found out she was having a girl. I actually cried I was so upset. No reason to be, it doesn't make my LO any less of a gift, it's was just how I felt and I couldn't help it. I've Never been a spolight kind of person, but it did feel like I lost a little of my thunder. (It also irks me that she's 10 years younger, adorbale and a SAHW/SAHM, while I work 50 hrs a week.)
It's taken a few weeks, but I'm getting really excited again that we all get to go through this together. Hang in there.
BTW: DH talks to both brothers everyday and I did tell DH how I felt...and he said he felt the same way.
I'm sorry that you are feeling the way that you do. I would give yourself some time to cool down and then eventually talk to you DH if you still feel the way you do.
BTW, anyone can have a miscarriage. Just because they are announcing at 4 weeks pregnant doesn't mean the are immune to it. Unfortunately, it can happen to anyone.
Also, no one has a baby bump at 4 weeks. It's just bloat.
Hope you feel better soon!
natural m/c and d&c at 10 weeks - 1/24/2014
DX w/ hetero C677t and A1298C MTHFR - 3/4/2014
I understand your feelings, and I know pregnancy hormones aren't helping. I agree with the pp's that your moment will come, your, your baby, your DH...and in the end that's all that matters. Like they said, your family is unpredictable!
Also, a 4 week old fetus is about the size of a poppy seed. She is bloated and poking her "belly" out.