"Cry it out"? re: feeding

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

DS is 5 weeks old and eating every 1.5-2 hours consistently- regardless of the amount/ounces he takes in.

DH thinks we should let him "cry it out" to stretch it to 3 hours in between feedings. 

I'm not sure if that is what we should do...  it breaks my heart to hear LO crying and screaming!!!

Any ideas? TIA

robinsokj

Are you BFing?

iimallyours21

i heard the cry it out thing shouldnt be used till 4 - 6 months

homebird

I don't believe in letting a baby that young cry it out. He's not being manipulative - if he's hungry, he's hungry. My baby eats at the same frequency (1.5 - 2 hours). It's perfectly normal!

Can I ask - why is your husband frustrated that your baby is hungry so often?

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

yes- BFing and pumping/bottle.  We know for a fact that he's eating 4-5oz with the bottle of BM, and even the day we JUST fed him with the bottled BM, he STILL wanted to eat every 1.5-2 hours

ToBeMrsT

• .
• Infants who are the product of "baby training" (parenting programs in which babies are fed on a schedule and forced to sleep through the night using variations of the "cry-it-out method) often show delayed growth. Babies who are breastfed according to a parent-imposed and restrictive feeding schedule are not only likely to get less milk, the breastmilk they get will have a lower level of fat and calories because of the longer intervals between feedings

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T023600.asp

mrscupcake

I'm wondering the same thing. DS is only a week though. But sometimes he goes 3-4 hours and eats 2-3 ounces, and sometimes he goes 1-2 hours and only eats 1-2 ounces.  When he only eats 1-2 ounces we try everything to get him to take more (change him, etc) but he won't. But then an hour later wants more. It's confusing because if we know he's hungry, it's hard to just let him cry it out. Plus he's still so little we probably won't start letting him cry it out just yet. But I'll be curious to see what the responses are....

IrishBrideND

He's hungry. Feed the poor guy!

L&J0804

Maybe you could try giving him a pacifier first to see if he's truly hungry or just wants to suck.

AmandaToo

This is what 5-week olds do.  Keep feeding him when he's hungry.  It'll even out in the next month or so.

pandagirl15

When we went to our last appt. pedi said keep feeding whenever she is hungry. DD eats every hour b/n 5 and 10.  1ht

a4smith

If he is hungry he's hungry...nothing more to it unfortunately. He is crying because he's hungry...so feed him. It will start to spread out more eventually just hang in there

bb80

IrishBrideND:

He's hungry. Feed the poor guy!

ITA!  seriously people, all babies are different, they are crying because they are hungry.  You can't overfeed an infant, if you do....they will spit it up...so if they are not spitting it up, they are hungry.  Some infants just like to "snack".  Especially at one week old!  their stomachs are very tiny and can't hold much....therefore you need to feed them more often

ETA:  Have you consulted your pediatrician?  Is he/she concerned?

 

sleepingbeauty825

I don't think I could let my guy cry when I knew he was hungry. That's our job, rigH now! He will get longer intervals, this doesn't last forever. I would definitely try a paci though, if you haven't yet.

SarahCM

L&J0804:

Maybe you could try giving him a pacifier first to see if he's truly hungry or just wants to suck.

I was thinking this, but definitely feed if he is hungry.

And I know you said he gets a lot of milk, but are you sure he is full when you stop? 

liza0828

His stomach is teeny tiny.  Your husband can't seriously want to let a hungry newborn cry for an hour and a half to make his life more convenient.

ETA: the reason it breaks your heart to hear him cry is because your mommy instinct is telling you that you should NOT let him scream!

smittysoup

I kind of disagree with everyone else on this issue.  If he is literally eating 5 ounces every 1.5-2 hours, then that's like 60 ounces a day.  That's got to be way too much for a 5 week old baby...especially if it's going on for more than a day or two (like for a growth spurt)

Is he vomiting or excessively spitting up?  How is the weight gain?

Also, are you sure that he is really hungry that often? Maybe he just has a strong need to suck.  Have you tried offering a paci?

Shell24

He may not be getting as much from you as he is taking from the bottle.  He probably doesn't have to work as hard to get it out of  the bottle.  So don't assume he is taking 5 oz. every time he feeds from you. 

And your DH would really let him cry for an hour and a half?  That's terrible.  I really hope he'd at least try intervals (like letting him go 10 minutes one day, and increase it daily).  But 5 weeks is too early for that.

A lactation consultant could tell you how much he is taking when he feeds from you.  They'll weigh him, have you feed him, then weigh him again.  Maybe you should try that.

bakershaker

ToBeMrsT:

• .
• Infants who are the product of "baby training" (parenting programs in which babies are fed on a schedule and forced to sleep through the night using variations of the "cry-it-out method) often show delayed growth. Babies who are breastfed according to a parent-imposed and restrictive feeding schedule are not only likely to get less milk, the breastmilk they get will have a lower level of fat and calories because of the longer intervals between feedings

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T023600.asp

I have to call BS on this! My son was sleep trained from 2 months on( not CIO)  we would stretch out his feedings to make him go longer ( in 15 min intervals per day) and he was thriving and 24 lbs by 6 months. I believe it's all how you go about it. Don't believe everything you read......

Kim B.

When my DD is fussy and acting like she's hungry but has recently fed, I offer her her pacifier.

If she fusses with the pacifier, I whip out the boob and feed her, regardless of how little of a time it's been between feedings.

I don't know about you ladies, but it's very rare that I eat just three meals a day. I like my snacks! And sometimes, my cutie needs a little snack here and there too

IrishBrideND

bakershaker:

ToBeMrsT:

• .
• Infants who are the product of "baby training" (parenting programs in which babies are fed on a schedule and forced to sleep through the night using variations of the "cry-it-out method) often show delayed growth. Babies who are breastfed according to a parent-imposed and restrictive feeding schedule are not only likely to get less milk, the breastmilk they get will have a lower level of fat and calories because of the longer intervals between feedings

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T023600.asp

I have to call BS on this! My son was sleep trained from 2 months on( not CIO)  we would stretch out his feedings to make him go longer ( in 15 min intervals per day) and he was thriving and 24 lbs by 6 months. I believe it's all how you go about it. Don't believe everything you read......

which is why it said OFTEN, not always. Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't increase the odds.

BTW, I'm not saying I believe the research, I just can't stand the logic of "the odds are wrong because it didn't happen to me."

pandagirl15

Kim B.:

I don't know about you ladies, but it's very rare that I eat just three meals a day. I like my snacks! And sometimes, my cutie needs a little snack here and there too

Very good point!

bakershaker

I wouldn't let him cry..he's probably hungry! We needed to push my DS's feedings when he was about 2 months cause he was eating so often..we did it slowly and in 10-15 min per day..till we could eventually get him going longer then 1.5 hours in between feeds...I used his paci or just kept him busy for a few extra mins..it worked, by the end of the week he was going longer and actually started sleeping better also because he was going down with a fuller belly and taking in more per feed.

lucasj'smommy

If your pedi isn't concerned and giving you advice on what to do FEED HIM!

If it's not just a need to suck so a paci doesn't work FEED HIM!

Like a pp said it breaks your heart to hear him cry because your mommy instinct says to let him cry is wrong!

It makes me so mad when people want to let their newborns CIO because it would be more convienient for them or a DH is frustrated!

Did he not realize parenthood isn't always easy and going to go the way HE wants?

bakershaker

IrishBrideND:

bakershaker:

ToBeMrsT:

• .
• Infants who are the product of "baby training" (parenting programs in which babies are fed on a schedule and forced to sleep through the night using variations of the "cry-it-out method) often show delayed growth. Babies who are breastfed according to a parent-imposed and restrictive feeding schedule are not only likely to get less milk, the breastmilk they get will have a lower level of fat and calories because of the longer intervals between feedings

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T023600.asp

I have to call BS on this! My son was sleep trained from 2 months on( not CIO)  we would stretch out his feedings to make him go longer ( in 15 min intervals per day) and he was thriving and 24 lbs by 6 months. I believe it's all how you go about it. Don't believe everything you read......

which is why it said OFTEN, not always. Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't increase the odds.

BTW, I'm not saying I believe the research, I just can't stand the logic of "the odds are wrong because it didn't happen to me."

I know..I agree with you, I just can't stand when everyone puts down sleep training like it's "evil" and your baby won't thrive because of it.Every baby is different and it works for some...not for others.

Lmystery

ToBeMrsT:

• .
• Infants who are the product of "baby training" (parenting programs in which babies are fed on a schedule and forced to sleep through the night using variations of the "cry-it-out method) often show delayed growth. Babies who are breastfed according to a parent-imposed and restrictive feeding schedule are not only likely to get less milk, the breastmilk they get will have a lower level of fat and calories because of the longer intervals between feedings

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T023600.asp

 

This!

A baby eats when they are hungry, they wont over eat.

DilcoJ'sWife

Regardless of whether he's hungry or not - babies cry for a reason.  You need to take care of him when he is crying - but I think you know that.  Time to give your DH a lesson in baby 101.

My 5-week old eats very often, too, though not quite 5 oz. every 1.5 to 2 hours.  He will take 2oz. or so that often, then gets a good long sleep, then takes 4oz., then "grazes" some more.  He is FF, though.

Good Luck.  It will get better before you know it!

BonnieG79

Kim B.:

When my DD is fussy and acting like she's hungry but has recently fed, I offer her her pacifier.

If she fusses with the pacifier, I whip out the boob and feed her, regardless of how little of a time it's been between feedings.

I don't know about you ladies, but it's very rare that I eat just three meals a day. I like my snacks! And sometimes, my cutie needs a little snack here and there too

Substitute DS for DD and this exactly

trapani2be

IrishBrideND:

He's hungry. Feed the poor guy!

This. OMG please do not let your baby cry it out.

anabell0920

Your husband is either an idiot or an a$$hole or both.  From now on whenever he says he's hungry don't let him eat for hours after see how he feels!

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful

ok everyone who is calling my DH names needs to seriously grab a Midol. 

He's just frustrated, as I'm sure MANY of your DHs can be with a fussy baby. 

I seriously think our son is crying or sleeping wayyy more often than being content (maybe an hour or so a day, tops).

I thought I could vent... but obviously, many of you are on your soapboxes when I just wanted to hear your experiences.

THANK YOU to those who helped and kindly gave your advice.

momtotom

anabell0920:

Your husband is either an idiot or an a$$hole or both.  From now on whenever he says he's hungry don't let him eat for hours after see how he feels!

Amen to that! That's just cruel. Poor baby.

Dr.Loretta

IrishBrideND:

He's hungry. Feed the poor guy!

ITA. What does your H think letting him cry for up to an hour is going to accomplish?

lucasj'smommy

FWIW My DH would NEVER suggest to let our baby CIO because he's frustrated!

I'm not on a soapbox or in need of a midol, but you need to feed your babe when he's hungry.

grapeape73

I saw this post earlier today and refused to open it because I knew it would upset me.  But my curiosity got the better of me.

Babies who are BF tend to overeat from a bottle.  So even if your LO is taking 5 oz from a bottle doesn't mean she is eating  5 oz every time she nurses. 

I feed on demand, and often times my LO will want to comfort nurse.  It doesn't mean she is hungry, she just wants the comfort.  

Babies don't over eat.  They  regulate  that by spitting up.

He is my entire mothering philosophy:

When your baby  cries do everything in your power to make it stop.  That might mean feeding your LO every hour on the hour.  You also have the 6 week growth spurt coming up and she just might be gearing up for that.  If you aren't feeding her in answer to the growth spurt then you will not have enough milk for her later. It is as simple as that.

Good luck.

grace_smith03

i'll take the midol and anything else you've got. ;P

too young to cry it out at that age. if he isn't hungry, he might have a case of the lonelies or boredom, in which case, he should be held/nurtured. sounds as if he is hungry, however, and mine snacks all day too...totally normal. 

sunnysmile9

Here's mine... don't listen to your husband.

Feed your baby if he's hungry.

juliane2004

At this age, you should ABSOLUTELY be feeding on demand. Try to avoid your LO snacking, but if they are hungry, feed them!

Sizzline

:sneaking in from 3-6: I know you and your husband are both sleep deprived, and frustrated, but it is so important to feed your baby that often at the age you are at. Their bellies are only about the size of their fist, & since that is so tiny, it needs to be filled up more often. Newborns just can't take in enough milk to go long stretches between eating. DD ate like that for. Almost the first 2 months, and while it sucked & I was exhausted all the time, I knew it was totally normal. Also, your breast milk supply is still being established. If you push out your LOs feedings, it could hurt your supply, especially with the 6-week growth spurt right around the corner. Listen to your mommy instincts. If you feel like you should feed your baby, do it, regardless of how frustrated your husband is. He won't have the same instincts as you, especially at first. I know its hard. I also felt like DD did nothing but eat, cry & sleep for a while. Then this magic day comes where they start sleeping longer, and smiling, and the hard days fade into a memory. I promise it will get better. Hugs! :sneaking back to my own board:

MrsRebecca

Baby_Bunny_Hopeful:

ok everyone who is calling my DH names needs to seriously grab a Midol. 

He's just frustrated, as I'm sure MANY of your DHs can be with a fussy baby. 

I seriously think our son is crying or sleeping wayyy more often than being content (maybe an hour or so a day, tops).

I thought I could vent... but obviously, many of you are on your soapboxes when I just wanted to hear your experiences.

THANK YOU to those who helped and kindly gave your advice.

First of all, if it's just a vent- don't ask for ideas. That opens it up for people to make suggestions.

Secondly your baby is 5 weeks old- she is supposed to eat, sleep and poop. That's life.  My son cried (hysterically usually- colic) for what seemed like 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. As he's gotten older though it's gotten better and better. Now at 3 months he doesn't cry all that often, naps pretty regularly, and sleeps 12 hours at night (with one feeding) and is thriving.

How did I do it? I picked him up whenever he cried or was upset, fed him whenever he was hungry, and put him down to sleep when he was tired. Simple as that.

The bottom line is that your baby has spent 9 months in a comfy, cozy warm (and loud) womb. It's hard for them to adjust to being out in the world. 5 weeks is way way way too young to expect your baby to adapt to a convenient schedule.

I agree with the PP (grapeape?) who mentioned the difference between a bottle fed BF baby and a nursing BF baby. They have to work harder to get it from the breast so typically babies will eat more from a bottle than when they nurse.

If she is hungry- feed her!

cinderellabella

It sounds to me like he may have reflux. The amount you're feeding him seems like A LOT for a baby that young, but I have no idea how much he weighs, so I'm not going to generalize. Anyway, many babies eat every 2ish hours for the first two months or so.

However, to me it sounds like your little guy might have reflux. There may not be very many signs, but it REALLY sounds to me like that could be the problem. Reflux babies like to eat a lot because eating keeps the acid down and it doesn't burn their throat. If I were you, I would feed him in the upright position and also keep him upright for 30 minutes after he's done eating. We had to do this and it made for a MUCH happier baby.

Also - call the nurse line or Pedi and see what they say about the situation. They are there to help, and get paid big bucks, so you might as well use their services.