m/c test results

cutebride73

The RE called for my follow-up phone appointment.  She told me that everything with the D&C went well and that as long as I get AF within the next 2-3 weeks I don't need to come in.  If I don't get AF by then, I need to call and come in and they will do a u/s and test my HCG levels.  She also said we can start trying again after I get AF - we only needed to wait one cycle. 

They tested the tissue from the baby and they went able to tell that what caused the miscarriage was Trisomy 16 - so there were 3 copies of chromosome 16, instead of 2 and that is "not compatable with life". 

Basically, she said it is not likely to happen again - except for the fact that I am almost 37 and the older you are the less likely your eggs do what they are supposed to do.  I am glad to have some answers though.  It looks like I won't be having the RPL panel done as the RE feels there is no need at this point since we know what caused the m/c.

She did say we can talk to a genetic counselor if we want and gave me a number for a referral.  I guess I will call.

The baby was a girl.   

jerriesgirl

I'm glad you were able to get some answers.

myst33

That sounds very positive. I'm glad you got some answers. How are you processing the news?

millejj1

Glad you got some answers!

MrsLWatts

I'm glad you got answers.  To me, answers are wonderful.

 

ej708

I'm glad you got some answers. 

MrsZiz

Answers are good for the most part. Part of me wants answers but our doctor doesn't do any testing... part of me doesn't want answers because I feel like it makes it harder... how are you feeling with all of your answers? Do you think it made you feel any different? 

cutebride73

myst33:

That sounds very positive. I'm glad you got some answers. How are you processing the news?

Not so well, it was like having my heart torn back open.  Hearing that the baby was a girl just made it seem real all over again.  I am sure I will continue to move forward, but it is hard to think about it all.  I guess I just have to mourn some more.

I am glad to know that it is not likely to happen again, well, not any more likely than it happening this time.  Of course, I will worry about it though - along with everything else.

cutebride73

MrsZiz:

Answers are good for the most part. Part of me wants answers but our doctor doesn't do any testing... part of me doesn't want answers because I feel like it makes it harder... how are you feeling with all of your answers? Do you think it made you feel any different? 

I don't know if it made me feel different, but finding out that the baby was a girl made it seem more real somehow.  Maybe real isn't the right word, but now I have to grieve knowing I will never know my little girl and that is heartbreaking.  Before it was somewhat abstract still.  We hadn't picked out names yet - we were discussing, but nothing definitive.  Now I am not sure if we should name her or not.  And if so, do we use one of the names we were talking about or pick something completely different. 

In some ways knowing details makes it more confusing.  Then of course I feel angry too - why did that 3rd chromosome 16 not split off like all of the others?!  So, I guess it just mostly brings up all of those feelings again and I had thought I was moving forward.  DH is worried that this will set me back for awhile.  I am not sure in the long run, but I guess I just need to take more time to process and to grieve.

MrsZiz

cutebride73:

MrsZiz:

Answers are good for the most part. Part of me wants answers but our doctor doesn't do any testing... part of me doesn't want answers because I feel like it makes it harder... how are you feeling with all of your answers? Do you think it made you feel any different? 

I don't know if it made me feel different, but finding out that the baby was a girl made it seem more real somehow.  Maybe real isn't the right word, but now I have to grieve knowing I will never know my little girl and that is heartbreaking.  Before it was somewhat abstract still.  We hadn't picked out names yet - we were discussing, but nothing definitive.  Now I am not sure if we should name her or not.  And if so, do we use one of the names we were talking about or pick something completely different. 

In some ways knowing details makes it more confusing.  Then of course I feel angry too - why did that 3rd chromosome 16 not split off like all of the others?!  So, I guess it just mostly brings up all of those feelings again and I had thought I was moving forward.  DH is worried that this will set me back for awhile.  I am not sure in the long run, but I guess I just need to take more time to process and to grieve.

I think each day is different. Some days I feel like I can move forward and others I just want to cry. I feel like that's completely normal though. I think it does take more time for us women to process and grieve. I think the man can just grieve quickly and move on because it doesn't seem as real to them because it's not their body that has to go through everything... or at least that's true for my DH.