Feel like I'm at a fork in the road and don't know which path to take...

JennyCraig

We are a military family and when I was on mat leave (which in Canada is a year) he got posted to a base about 2.5 hrs east of Toronto. I have a gov't job as a policy advisor in Toronto and they accomodated me by allowing me to work out of one of our offices that is closer (about 45 min drive from our home). However, I'm still required to go into the city once a week and for special meetings, conferences. Well this once a week is turning into twice a week. On days that I go into the city, I do not see either children AT ALL. I leave before the sun is up and I get home after they are asleep. I'm considering taking a pay cut to work closer to home but that could and probably will limit my career options in the future. I am so torn. It's hard too because I'm not particularly happy with my job right now so the sacrifices don't seem worth it. But the pay is very good, the security is great and the pension & benefits are very good too. How will I ever decide what to do??! 

GLynn2009

Will DH get moved again anytime soon? Can you be moved anywhere within Canada? If you both are moving a lot I probably would get a different job that travels better from place to place. 4 to 5 hr travel time in a day is not for me.

JennyCraig

Postings are very unpredictable and he could be posted anywhere in Canada but most likely he would get posted to a base near Ottawa or to a base about 1 hr north of Toronto (which would be much better for me!!). Being a military spouse with a career is very very hard

shouldbworkin

From my experience, staying at a job just b/c of the benefits never amounts to much in the end.  Yes, benies are important, but I think that eventually your employer can tell you don't have the drive to do your job and excell and it just doesn't end well.  I would either see if you can work something else out at that job so that you can be happier there or start looking for other jobs (or you can do it at the same time).  Maybe there's something else out there you haven't considered that won't derail your career, but will give you some good QOL too.

flyer23

DH and I work for the same company, but we are outside of the company's headquarters. We could easily move to the city where HQ is located, and that would open up a TON of career opportunities for both of us -- more opportunity to advance, more opportunity for increased pay.

We still debate it, but we are both strongly leaning towards staying put. We have so many good friends here, we are a lot closer to family, it's a lot cheaper here, etc. We both enjoy our current jobs and they offer excellent work/life balance. And we're saving enough money that we hope to partially retire in the next 10 years or so. (That is, we'd quit our current jobs and do something that might not pay very well but we LOVE to do.) Knowing that, it really doesn't make sense to uproot our family now, if we think that we'll be able to do whatever we want, wherever we want in just a few years. DH just got an offer for a job at HQ that would have provided a lot more opportunity for advancement for him (and for me, too), but also would have meant a lot more sacrifices for our family, and he turned it down, for all of those reasons.

So... I think it depends in part on how much you need/want this job. It sounds like you don't really want it at all, so that part is easy. Do you need the money? Or could you take a paycut and limit your opportunities for future pay increases, and still survive AND be a lot happier? What if you stick it out for a few more years? Would that put you in a better place financially? If you need the money and the benefits, you need the money and the benefits... but if you can figure out an acceptable solution that allows you to meet your financial goals while NOT requiring you to commute 1.5 hours on a "good" day, then that is what I'd look for.