I think our journey is coming to an end. — The Bump
Secondary IF

I think our journey is coming to an end.

I had my SHG today.

The RE found a very large polyp that he said HAS to come out.  He also said that the cysts on my ovaries have not shrunk on the birth control and those will be removed with the polyp.

He said my right tube IS blocked on the outside and is too risky for ectopic pregnancy. 

So his only course of treatment that he recommends is IVF (after the polyp is removed).

We can't really afford IVF and the thought of it terrifies me. I can't even begin to imagine going $12,000 into debt and it not working.  

I know that I'm blessed to have my daughter.  But I feel like the world just crashed down on me and all my hopes and dreams for my future and my life just got sucked away.

Re: I think our journey is coming to an end.

  • So sorry to hear that :( 

    I would defnitely take some time to think about it though.  If you talk to others that have gone through IVF it may not terrify you as much as you may think. 

    Best of luck in your decision!!

  • sooo sorry to hear this...please take the time to break and think things through.  I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.
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  • I'm so sorry, MrsT. Like pps said, take a little time to digest what your doctor told you before making any definite decisions.  ::hugs::
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  • I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I agree w/ PP, I'd take time to really allow yourself to consider the IVF option. You just don't ever want to have to look back and question whether you should have given it that one last ditch effort. My thoughts are with you.
  • I am so sorry to hear this.  As the others have said, take some time to think this over.  I am sure there will be a healing process involved after the surgery, maybe you could talk to others about the IVF in the meantime.  Also, talk to your RE, maybe there is some financing available too.

    Good luck to you!

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  • So sorry about that. (((HUGS)))

     When we found out about our genetic issue i was so sure i could never do IVF becuase i was terrified of all the shots etc. Now that i have started the process its not bad. So leave your options open and you might be able to find a way to afford it.

     

     

  • image MandyMilller:
    I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I agree w/ PP, I'd take time to really allow yourself to consider the IVF option. You just don't ever want to have to look back and question whether you should have given it that one last ditch effort. My thoughts are with you.

    This is what we did!  I didn't want to keep thinking "what if" and hold that over my head for the rest of my life.

    I am so so sorry!  Hugs to you!  It is a hard decision, so take some time off and think things through.  You will do what is best for you and your family.  I'll be thinking about you!

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    TTC #2 since Nov '07
    Tried 4 cycles of Clomid, TI, Gonal-f, and IUI's - all BFFN's
    Both tubes removed Nov '09
    Low AMH = 0.3
    IVF #1 for Feb '10 - cancelled due to poor response - Gonal-f and Repronex
    IVF #1.2 for June '10 - Gonal-f, Menopur, and micro Lupron
    ER - 6/19 (2 retrieved), ET - 6/22 (1 transferred with ICSI), Beta 7/5 = BFFN
    IVF #2 for Nov '10 was cancelled due to poor response - Follistim, Repronex, and micro Lupron
    IVF #2.2 for Feb '11 - Gonal-f, Repronex, and Ganirelix
    ER - 2/24 (8 retrieved), ET - 3/1 (2 transferred with ICSI), froze 3, Beta 3/11 = BFFN
    FET - 4/19 (3 transferred), Beta 4/28 = BFP, EDD 1/4/12
  • I'm so sorry.  Take a break for a month or two after the surgery.  It will help you see things with a different perspective.  It's so hard to get so much bad news at once.  Big (((hugs))) to you.
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  • Oh sweetie...that is so much to take in.  Please take some time in making any decisions and trust that you and your DH will do what is best for your family.  {{HUGS}}
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  • Mrs T.  I am so VERY sorry!  This is so much to be taking in at once.  Once you've had time to absorb all this maybe have another converstaion with him.  Isn't there something he can do about the blocked tube especially since it puts you at a higer risk for an ectopic pregnancy, perhaps a partial removal or do something to block it completely so that you aren't put at risk, especially since he's going to be in there to remove the polyp and cysts. Everyone keeps telling me you only need one open tube.
     
    All the best to you.  I hope that you are able to come to a decision that is best for you and yours.
  • It is all so frustrating!  You have been through so much, it just doesn't seem fair.  .  Take all the time you need.  We are all here for you, hoping for the best.
    Married 9-4-04

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  • Im sorry.

    We are right there with you. (trying desperately not to quit but just might have to again for awhile.. or forever)

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  • I'm so sorry. :(  That's so much to think about at once.  I agree with pps about giving yourself some time to put it on the back burner, but that's not to make you feel bad about your decision one way or another as it's a decision only you can make.  I wish you the very, very best. :(
    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
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    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
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  • I would do it in a heartbeat if insurance covered it or if we had that kind of money in the bank.
  • Mrs T- I know exactly how you feel. We are completely out of pocket heading into this IVF. It is extremely nerve racking and scary to think that we are spending this much money (or putting it on a credit card) for something that may or may not work. However I couldn't look back thinking what if??? Okay so it puts us into debt for a little bit but at least we tried. Also- talk with your RE, sometimes they will offer discounts to those paying completely out of pocket or they may even be able to donate some meds to you. I wish you the best of luck in your decision. It really is a tough one and like everyone said before take some time to think it over.
  • Mrs T ~

    Very sorry to hear the news. I know you said you are terrified abt going $12K into debt and it not working... have you considered adoption? At least you are more or less assured you will get a "return" on your investment!

    Either way, I know it's really tough. I hope you and your H will be able to come to a decision that works for you.

     BB 

  • I am not trying to be contrarian whatsoever but didn't you just have a Lap recently performed by your OB? Was that you (so many #'s in ppl's screen names)
  • image sommerrayne:
    I am not trying to be contrarian whatsoever but didn't you just have a Lap recently performed by your OB? Was that you (so many #'s in ppl's screen names)

    I had a myomectomy in February where they removed a fibroid and scar tissue. 

    The RE looked at the scans from that SHG that led to that surgery and he said there is no sign of the polyp on there at all.  The first thing I did was question whether the OB missed it.

  • image MrsT1209:

    image sommerrayne:
    I am not trying to be contrarian whatsoever but didn't you just have a Lap recently performed by your OB? Was that you (so many #'s in ppl's screen names)

    I had a myomectomy in February where they removed a fibroid and scar tissue. 

    The RE looked at the scans from that SHG that led to that surgery and he said there is no sign of the polyp on there at all.  The first thing I did was question whether the OB missed it.



    That's a fast growing polyp then! Wow! Do they have any idea why or how it occured?! I'm so sorry for this for you. I hope you find your answers fast!
  • I am so sorry.

    DD born 8/24/07
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  • JMayJMay member
    So sorry to hear this news.  Know that we are all here for you as you work through everything.  (((HUG)))
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  • image sommerrayne:
    image MrsT1209:

    image sommerrayne:
    I am not trying to be contrarian whatsoever but didn't you just have a Lap recently performed by your OB? Was that you (so many #'s in ppl's screen names)

    I had a myomectomy in February where they removed a fibroid and scar tissue. 

    The RE looked at the scans from that SHG that led to that surgery and he said there is no sign of the polyp on there at all.  The first thing I did was question whether the OB missed it.



    That's a fast growing polyp then! Wow! Do they have any idea why or how it occured?! I'm so sorry for this for you. I hope you find your answers fast!

    He had no answers for me except that some women are just more prone to them.  If we wait too long on the IVF, I risk more polyps coming back and the surgery needing to be repeated.  Same with fibroids.  Once you've had them, your chance of them recurring is higher. 

  • I am so sorry, I think the cost of IVF is crazy...I wish you the best.
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  • Would you possibly consider "shared risk" IVF - ask over on SAIF about it. I know a number of people have done it. You pay a little more but you get up to 3 chances for the price of like 1.25-1.5.
  • I am so very sorry! I wish I could loan you the money! IVF scares me too but think about all your options. I know it's a lot to take in but there's still hope! You only need 1 tube (and I know because I only have one). (Hugs)
    Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie DS: Born 2007 TTC #2- Diagnosed with secondary infertility, after 18 months and failed IUIs, we achieved success with IVF #1 DD: Born 2011
  • image sommerrayne:
    Would you possibly consider "shared risk" IVF - ask over on SAIF about it. I know a number of people have done it. You pay a little more but you get up to 3 chances for the price of like 1.25-1.5.

    Definitely. I'll certainly ask about it.  I want all my options out on the table before we make a decision.  DH won't let me decide anything tonight or even this week.  He thinks (and he's right) that I'm way too emotionally stunned and hurt right now.  

    I don't even gamble in Vegas.  I hate how much of this is a gamble.

  • I am so sorry.  I can't imagine what you are going through.  
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  • I just got here right now to check in on the latest and I am HEARTBROKEN for you.  I can't even imagine what you are going through but tonight know you are in my prayers.

    All I can say is give yourself a few days for the shock of everything to wear off and go from there to make your decision.   I've been given some major life curveballs and I just remembered being OVERWHELMED by emotion, options, stress, sadness, etc.  But with a little time, the decisions became clearer.

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