Blended Families
SK getting in bed w/DH and I...yikes.
Okay wondering what to do in this situation. Any advice would be appreciated.
5 yr old SS has a habit in the early morning hours of coming into our room and crawling in bed with us. 5:30-6am. I typically get up and just start my day and leave him and DH in the bed. Sometimes he will go back to sleep or turn on the tv while DH is semi awake and just have quiet time. I don't feel comfortable staying in bed if he is there.
Am I right to leave the bed, or should we work on putting him back in his bed or alter bed time (maybe he is going to be too soon 730pm typically)so that he might sleep longer in the morning.
We only have him holidays and 6 wks in summer so not an EOW issue, so I don't mind leaving the bed for the short time he is here.
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Re: SK getting in bed w/DH and I...yikes.
Personally I love it when my kids (bio and skids) come crawl in bed with us for that snuggle time. Almost every saturday morning we have all 3 in bed (which with a queen size is quite a feat) and they watch some cartoons while they wake up and snuggle.
Now in the middle of the night we take them back to bed and tuck them back in... usually 2 minutes of back rubbing and they are out.
When my kids were little they were co-sleepers with me. I don't find it strange at all that children want to snuggle in bed w/ parents. My SO used to laugh when he would come home after working nights and the kids and i were asleep in the bed and sleeping like puppies. Then we would transfer them back to their own beds.
Right now our kids are "too cool" but there is still every once in awhile they come in bed and snuggle/tv watching or just quiet one on one time. It's now few and far between and I cherish it each and everytime.
But that type of dynamic isn't for everyone. And like I said I set the precident b/c I'm one of those "crazy" cosleeping breastfeeding for 2 years mom.
I wasn't comfortable with that either so when one of my skids used to get up really early, DH would get up and curl up on the couch with her. Once she was comfortable being in our home and old enough to understand rules a little better, we instated a "stay in bed" rule. If they wake up earlier than everyone else, they don't have to go back to sleep (assuming its a reasonable time like 7am) but they have to get a book or their Nintendo DS/Leapster whatever, and read/play quietly in their beds so as not to wake anyone else up. DH and I both get up pretty early most days, so we're usually awake and if we hear someone up, we will tell them they can come down and watch TV.
I am of the mind frame that our room is OUR room and that a husband and wife (especially in a blended family situation) need a space that is theirs and only theirs. The kids don't belong in our room to sleep/cuddle/play or anything else. It's not like they're NEVER allowed in there, but we keep one on one time and other things like that in other parts of the house.
I agree with this. I am not comfortable with SS or DS being in the same bed with me and DH. It is our room, that is where we have our time. We are very affectionate with the kids everywhere else, but our room is our room and our bed is our bed. I'm not sure if I would feel differently if we were not a BF. If kids wake up in the middle of the night we bring them back to their room cuddle, hugs, kisses, and good night. They are allowed to wake us up when they get up but they just open the door and say good morning or its time to get up, they don't get in bed with us. My DS is still a baby but it will be the same when he is older. I just don't like kids in the bed with me. Maybe thats weird but I'm not comfortable with it.
I never thought about it. My 3yo SS crawls into bed with us every morning we have him (summer, and one week in dec) and when we vacation, we usually all end up in a bed together anyways. I mean, we are all clothed, and sleeping. Never even crossed my mind it might be an issue!
But, if YOU aren't comfortale, I definitely think it a topic you should broach with your H, and come up with a solution that works for you
We have designated our master bedroom as a "kid free zone." I need one space where I can get away if I need to or that DH and I can be alone without one, two or all three of the kids.
We don't have a TV in the room, and really only furniture we have in there is a bed and our dressers so there is no reason why they need to be in there.
Since we moved into our new house they have almost 3000 sq ft to roam around in with a big yard so there is no reason why they need to be in the MB as well.