DH ? — The Bump
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DH ?

Does anyone have a dh that does not see the need to have much couple time sans LO?  We were supposed to go to a couples getaway with church this coming weekend and our childcare arrangements fell through. I'm very bummed about it but dh is like "hmph whatever."  Even before this happened he asked me several times if we could take Grady with us.  Lately (last year or so)he just does not want to leave him at all. Seriously sometimes I think our roles are reversed haha!  I'm like hello we need some time away for me and you.... Don't get me wrong we go on dates quarterly but I guess I'm talking more of a "getaway" type thing.

Re: DH ?

  • I think both of us are like that. We realized we only went out by ourselves three times in all of 2009 (without Ashley or another couple). We have only gone out of town without her twice since she was born (both times in 2008). We are both going out of town this weekend (not together, we each have bachelorette/bachelor weekends) and neither of us are that excited about it, we hate leaving her. I know it is important for us to make more time as a couple and do things without her (especially when #2 comes), but luckily, we both feel the same way.

    I hope the two of you are able to have a special getaway sometime soon :)

  • Yep, my DH is the same way.  We never do anything alone.  I think we have probably been out to eat alone three or four times since Camryn was born and we've been to the movies on two of those times.  

    I even agreed (against my wishes) for his mom to come to the beach with us last year b/c I thought we could at least do a date night.  Then he changed his mind b/c it was our last night and he didn't want to.  I got really upset and was pissed about it.  He just didn't see the big deal at all. 

    I don't want to ask my parents to watch the girls any more that what they already do b/c they watch them four days a week.  His mom watches them one day a week, but b/c he's never interested in doing anything alone, I'm not sure if she's even ever watched them for us to go out. 

    I don't know, I think it's just one of those things he doesn't get.  <<sigh>>  I'm right there with ya!

     

    Edited to add:  We did go away for two nights not long after Camryn turned one.  It was fabulous.  It was for a work thing that I have every November.  I'm hoping that we will do it again this year.  We'll see! 


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  • Yes, my DH is the same way and it really bums me out.  He doesn't get the need to do anything without the girls.  We have never taken a weekend trip just the two of us since before Natalie was born.  We've been out maybe 3 times by ourselves in 2 years.  I've told him I'd like to take a trip somewhere next June for our 10 year dating anniversary and he thought I meant with the girls -- why would we bring the girls on our anniversary trip??  It's so frustrating.  I've tried talking to him about it but he just doesn't get it.  He says we spend time together at night after they go to bed -- yeah, I watch TV, read or surf the net and he's on the other computer.  Loads of fun!

    I think he's like this because this is how his parents were and to some extent still am.  He's an only child and they did absolutely everything with him.  Before the girls, my MIIL would still revolve everything around DH.  Now she revolves it around the girls.  I don't think before DH moved out that his parents did much one-on-one.  This was not how I was raised nor how I want my marriage to be.  I think it's healthy to have some non-children time and I crave it!

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  • I understand.  I have flat out told DH that I want a date night, and he still doesn't seem interested.  Date not does not mean go out and spend a lot of money, it means find someone to watch the kids so we can spend some time alone, even if its having beanie weenies at home!  ARGH!
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  • I'm wondering if it is because you are going on a "getaway with church"?? 

    My DH generally tries to avoid church-y events and would happily bring a kid if it gave him an excuse to duck out from time to time.

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  • Thanks ladies... I guess we are all in the same boat..ughhh! I guess what kills me is when we do go somewhere and grady goes with us usually its me doing most of the "work" (I hate to use that word but that is all I can think of right now!) 

    Juber--When we signed up for the getaway it was known that it was a couples getaway- no children. I want to go somewhere this winter for our 5th anniversary and his 40th b-day and he is all about bringing Grady...ughhh I'm like let's go somewhere just the two of us for 3 days!!!!

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