NBR: Friends

KaitySueWho

Did you ever do something to piss of your BFF even though you didn't mean to?

 My bff is marrying a man she just met 3 months ago. I was trying to be helpful and tell her that maybe she should get to know him a little better. Truefully I think she is trying to get over her ex boyfriends and she latched on to the next guy who paid her attention.

Now she won't talk to me at all.. I miss her a lot.. I just didn't want her to get hurt, or marry this guy and end up realizing she made a mistake 6 months down the road.

What would you do in my situation? I know I should have just kept my mouth shut but like I said I didn't want her to do something drastic without thinking about it first.

becki777

I would probably get over my feelings. Tell her that although I think she is rushing into it, I value her friendship enough to trust her judgment. I would never let a guy ruin my relationship with my BFF, but she wouldn't either. If he's not actually hurting her - just suck it up and be there when she needs you. (And spare her an "I told you so" if it goes sour)

KaitySueWho

I told her I was sorry.I told her how much I missed her.. and to tell the truth I wouldn't have even said anything except that she started bad mouthing my DH cause he is best friends with her ex.

She wanted me to choose between her and my husband and I wouldn't do it.

I asked her why she cared that they were still friends because she was getting married to someone else and she should be over him. Thats when the fireworks started.

I have tried calling her, texting her, emailing her, I have even gone up to her house but she won't talk to me. I live like a block away from her and everytime I drive past her house (have to to get to my house) it's like a knife in the heart. I don't know what to do.

I would have never made her choose between me and her fiance just because he was friends with someone I didn't like.

MrsHughesNC

That is absurd for her to expect you to choose her over your husband, especially for something like that. If she has an issue with your DH for being friends with her ex, then she doesn't have to be friends with your DH. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you have given it all you can. I think your only option is to move on.

KaitySueWho

MrsHughesNC:

That is absurd for her to expect you to choose her over your husband, especially for something like that. If she has an issue with your DH for being friends with her ex, then she doesn't have to be friends with your DH. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you have given it all you can. I think your only option is to move on.

 

yup thats what everyone keeps telling me.. it's just hard cause you expect your bff to be there for you no matter what. I was always there for her she use to call me at 3 am if she needed to and I would talk to her until 6 knowing I had to be at work at 7. It's just heartbreaking to me that she is going to let her ex and my husband's friendship come between us..

AnneNC

Yes, I have been in similar situations before as well.  I'd say just give her a little bit of time & space, and then try to reach out again and see if she will respond.