If you kept your pg/mc a secret at work

myst33

How have you been doing keeping up appearances at work? I'm embarrassed to say this but I've been doing a pretty bad job.  I think a few people think something is up with me, although I'm sure they don't know exactly what.  I've actually had a few people come up and ask me if something was wrong as I've just been walking down the hall. Unfortunately, that question just seems to get me more upset and makes matters worse. I had someone on Friday ask me point-blank if something was wrong and said she and someone else were talking about how I looked so sad and not myself lately..umm..I just told her that I had some stuff going on and couldn't talk about it. I then got choked up and obviously upset and she apologized for asking, just wanted to say they were concerned.  I'm embarrassed that I can't keep it together and really don't like that people are talking about me.

I'm going to try harder this week to be more upbeat and positive. 

millejj1

Only my direct supervisors and one coworker know and that was out of necessity. I've been working hard to take the fake it until I make it approach. I've just been trying to keep my head down and appear to be to busy or focused to make small talk. (I'll take papers and "be reading" them when I have to walk between buildings.)

When I'm in my office I put my headphones on so people know that I don't want to be disturbed. When people do ask me what is wrong or mention that I'm acting different I just say that I'm pretty busy and stressed out and have been feeling a little off lately but I'm fine.

elizabeth&james

I agree w/ PP - fake it until you make it. That's my approach for half of my office- the other half I just avoid. Only one supervisor knows that I was out for a few days of personal time- beyond her, just two work friends know anything at all.  So yeah, I fake my "old self" as much as I can, stay at my desk and just focus on the work when I can, and usually break down in the evenings b/c faking it is exhausting. But better than dealing w/ the "oh, you don't seem like yourself/you look exhausted/you look sad" type comments. It's not their business --I figure that even though it's seems like it must be SO obvious what's wrong me, I realize that nobody else probably can guess specifics and I'm feeling guarded about my personal story w/ all these coworkers.

SassyMamainVA

I told my bosses after the second miscarriage b/c I had to leave work since I was so upset after I got the call that my hcg levels weren't where they should be.  I also figured I'd have to take a bunch of sick leave for blood draws, etc.  I told some of the people I work with that I'm just having health issues.  There have been a couple people that have come to me since the second miscarriage and asked when I'm going to have children.  I've told them the truth about the miscarriages just so they stop asking.  It's awkward but they really need to stop asking people that question!  Anyway, do whatever you're comfortable with.  I understand that people are concerned, but they need to mind their own business.  If you want to talk about it, you will.  It's so hard to put on a positive and happy face when you're still so sad.  (((Hugs)))

  

myst33

I should add that my boss knew and a co-worker who works in a different building knew.  My boss has been trying to "cover" for me as best as she can but I know people are talking or at least wondering what is wrong with me. Part of the problem is that I was supposed to do a project right around the miscarriage. It had to be delayed and people are asking questions about that, too. 

It's funny b/c I totally thought it looked like I was showing when I was pg (I was 12 weeks the day of the d&c) and I was waiting for someone to ask me if I was pg. I am thankful that no one said it to me now.

BlakeG

Only my boss and 2 other friends at my job know about the loss.  People definitely know something is up (I've been caught running to the bathroom to cry a few times) and that I am not myself but I don't feel comfortable sharing with them so I just let them think whatever they want.  The only person that has came out and directly asked if something was wrong is my CEO and I just said that I was going through some personal stuff.  The way I feel, as long as I am getting my work done and I am polite and professional I don't need to be all perky.  I honestly don't have the energy to pretend to be upbeat so I'm just not.