Friday Ladies! Weekend plans?!

carrieannew

So I'm delayed in my friday post. LO has had a cold all week and I got concerned because he sounded so much more congested today and coughing. So anywho, stayed home and took LO to the doctor. Lungs are clear (which was my main concern) just have to wait it out.

So what does everyone have planned for the weekend?

Me ... oh boy. Well after finding out this week that the ex is insisting on a paternity test before he will sign the paperwork and start the child support enforcement tomorrows scheduled visit is going to be a thrown down. Flame or not I am pulling his visits till after the test and child support is in place. We have no court order clearly since we cant even get the chidl support enforced yet. I am done being fearful of how it will make me look. I will not allow a man who insists on a paternity test visit the child he claims is not his. So yeah... if and when he shows up tomorrow... its not going to be pretty. I am going to drop the baby at my parents prior. Flame away, I know child support and visitation do not go hand and hand but there is no court order for either yet.

 

blondnearby

You do know that will make you look bad... if he shows up to have visitation with a child that he "needs" a paternity test for then that makes him look bad (and silly).  It just makes you look selfish.

leepinlizzards

My best-est friend in the whole wide world (ok...a little over the top but you get the idea) is coming into town.  It's her anniversary and due to some family health problems she's coming into town.

And ditching her husband for ME!!!  Lol.  We have a baby shower to finalize and shopping to do.  So much more fun that playing with BOYS.  Ick.

And we're going to try to see if we can come up with some tickets to the Blue-Gold game.

But the reality of it is she's going to make my pregnant butt sit on the sofa and relax.  Because as much as she thinks she wants this baby to be born on her anniversary, she really doesn't.  He's just not done cooking yet. 

achase123

Yah, I have to agree, you need to be careful with how you proceed with this.  It's not flaming, just wanting to make sure you are doing what's in YOUR best interest.  The courts don't look kindly upon things like this.  Do you have an attorney?  Consult with him/her before proceeding.

 Weekend plans?  Nothing too exciting.  I am going to have a friend over for wine tonight-by the time Friday comes around I am usually to tired to do anything more exciting than that.  Tomorrow one of my girlfriends and the kiddos are going to Old Town to get coffee and browse around in the shops.  She got a new jogging stroller so she is anxious to use it.

carrieannew

I do not have a lawyer yet and truly hoping to not have to get one. I do realize after the child support is settled he will home after me for something visitation wise. It's extremely difficult and almost impossible for me to stomach that he wants a DNA test yet wants visits for the child he feels is not his. Selfish to me is delaying the courts by asking for a DNA test that more than likely his lawyer told him to do. I understand if you feel I'm selfish, I disagree but seems like everytime I post something it's disagreed with. I have to do what my gut tells me to do. Right or wrong in others eyes. When I complain later that it effected my case then flame away

lnbohac

I have to do a long run in the morning (probably in the rain. . .yuck) then I am off to get my hair done!  I can't wait. My lovely shade of violet had faded to a gross washed out reddish shade.  I think I'm gonna ask my girl to tweek the color a little bit to look even more purple but add just a touch of red to the base color so when it fades it doesn't look so washed out.  Sunday, I'm not sure.  I need to find an indoor activity for DS and I to do.  Maybe run wild at the mall before all the stores open?

blondnearby

carrieannew:

I do not have a lawyer yet and truly hoping to not have to get one. I do realize after the child support is settled he will home after me for something visitation wise. It's extremely difficult and almost impossible for me to stomach that he wants a DNA test yet wants visits for the child he feels is not his. Selfish to me is delaying the courts by asking for a DNA test that more than likely his lawyer told him to do. I understand if you feel I'm selfish, I disagree but seems like everytime I post something it's disagreed with. I have to do what my gut tells me to do. Right or wrong in others eyes. When I complain later that it effected my case then flame away

 

See this is the whole. thing.  His actions in regards to the paternity test shouldnt dictate his visitation.  If you don't want our advice, or two sense then don't ask questions.  It seems to me like you already have it set in your mind what you're going to do.  The fact is the paternity test is a blow to you.  Don;t take it personally because by doing so he is getting exactly what he wants; he is hurting/upsetting you.  Its all games. Don;t play them.  Trust me when you don't participate in the game you can't lose.

BTW I trusted my gut when I married stbx...yeah not the best decision I ever had.

carrieannew

blondnearby:

carrieannew:

I do not have a lawyer yet and truly hoping to not have to get one. I do realize after the child support is settled he will home after me for something visitation wise. It's extremely difficult and almost impossible for me to stomach that he wants a DNA test yet wants visits for the child he feels is not his. Selfish to me is delaying the courts by asking for a DNA test that more than likely his lawyer told him to do. I understand if you feel I'm selfish, I disagree but seems like everytime I post something it's disagreed with. I have to do what my gut tells me to do. Right or wrong in others eyes. When I complain later that it effected my case then flame away

 

See this is the whole. thing.  His actions in regards to the paternity test shouldnt dictate his visitation.  If you don't want our advice, or two sense then don't ask questions.  It seems to me like you already have it set in your mind what you're going to do.  The fact is the paternity test is a blow to you.  Don;t take it personally because by doing so he is getting exactly what he wants; he is hurting/upsetting you.  Its all games. Don;t play them.  Trust me when you don't participate in the game you can't lose.

BTW I trusted my gut when I married stbx...yeah not the best decision I ever had.

Your right. If I dont want advice I shouldn't ask for it. But you have to understand all my friends and family support this decision so to hear another side is hard for me to understand. That does not mean I do not respect what you ladies have to say.

And you also have to understand I am still early on in this whole process and I pray that we get to a point that there are no games and its where it needs to be. But we are not there yet. Does that mean I am not to blame for it being like it is, of course I take my share of the blame. And I know your right its all games and I am letting him win. I just need to find a way to rise above.

Thank you for your input