Had a Mama Meltdown today

MikesFLGirl

So I am sick for the 2nd time in 1 month. DS was getting up every hour for a few days and my allergies are horrible, can't take much in the way of antihistamines, so that turned into a bilat ear infection and sinus infection. I've been getting pressure to d/c BFing/pumping from my boss ("Wow...you're still nursing...when do you plan on weaning...isn't he old enough to stop BFing, etc...). So I went to the NP at my Dr office to get antibiotics and she started in on me with the "he isn't STTN? You need to wean him, BFing is the reason you are tired and sick..." So, with all the "support" in my life recently with being sick, I just started crying when I got home today. I couldn't wean him if I tried. He barely takes a bottle now. Tried to give him a bottle with EBM...no way mama! I'm SOOOOOOOOOO tired. We usually bedshare, I think that is why he wants to nurse all night long. Last night I put him in his swing and he slept from 7-3, nursed, then from 330-6 and up for the day. I've tried everything to fix the all night nursing/anti-crib situation/weaning situation. I just feel so hopeless sometimes. I feel that I am never going to sleep and I am going to end up nursing him forever. I just needed to vent to other AP mamas...sometimes being AP is so hard. I see my FF, Ferberizing friends IRL and they are so much more rested, and have time/energy to exercise, can go out for dates, etc. I just wish that DS would take a bottle and sleep better. I need a baby vacation for a night or something. Thanks for letting me vent! Just need to get it out!

webMistress0609

mama.

I totally understand. Ari is a sh!tty sleeper too. There are gentle ways to help your baby stop nursing so much at night. There's nothing wrong with getting a little balance back in your life - being AP means you still need to be a rested mommy to be a good mommy. 

You know that already I'm sure. You're doing a fantastic job mama. Having a baby is hard no matter what parenting style you choose. Hang in there. 

MikesFLGirl

Thanks so much! I just feel that for the first year, it's all mama. DS won't really take bottles, and just gets pissed off if you offer one. So getting DH to give a bottle at night really isn't an option. DS did sleep for 8 solid hours in his swing in the room last night...I just needed to have my space to myself last night. I don't want him sleeping in the swing all the time, it just seems wrong somehow. I get outside pressure everyday just to "take away the boob and let him cry it out." I'm just hoping that once he gets a little older, the nursing will decrease and life will get easier. I'm just tired of being sick and tired, kwim?

tak2002

MikesFLGirl:

I just needed to vent to other AP mamas...sometimes being AP is so hard. I see my FF, Ferberizing friends IRL and they are so much more rested, and have time/energy to exercise, can go out for dates, etc. I just wish that DS would take a bottle and sleep better. I need a baby vacation for a night or something. Thanks for letting me vent! Just need to get it out!

I think about this sometimes too! I just let it go though because I know I could never let LO CIO or anything like that! Haha!

g_belle

Little Man went through a phase where he was waking every 1/2 hour-45 minutes to eat and if/when I brought him to our bed so I could get a little rest he was nursing all.night.long.  I knew he wasn't hungry because he'd conk out like 2 minutes after latching on and never got a real feeding but I didn't know how to fix it. 

It got to the point that I wasn't functioning well at work or at home, our marriage was strained and I didn't feel safe driving too/from work because of lack of sleep....so- my DH started responding to J when he woke up at night instead of me.  If he couldn't calm him down within 10-15 minutes, then I'd nurse him back to sleep.  He wasn't ever left to just cry on his own but when nursing wasn't an immediate option he started to go for longer stretches at night. 

He still has bad nights but not as many as before.  (we've actually had 5 nights- not in a row but I'll take it- of SSN since we started trying this)  I don't know if that would work for you- but there has to be a balance for mommas too. 

rainlily

I'm sorry that you are sick and having such a hard time right now.  I'm sure that you have looked into the NCSS.  I will say that it took 2 full months before we saw any real progress.  One of the most important things for us was getting good naps during the day.  Once V started napping, her nighttime sleep improved.  It took us a long time to stop nursing to sleep, but once we moved nursing to an earlier part of the bedtime routine it helped. 

I saw that a couple of moms on here had read Ferber's book.  I gave it a read.  The controlled crying is only a very small part of the book.  My LO didn't have a problem falling asleep.  Her problem was with frequent nightwakings.  I think that she would wake frequently because she is a light sleeper and once awake wanted to be nursed back to sleep.  I extended the time between nursing (much slower than in the book).  It helped us.  I hope your LO is ready to sleep some longer stretches for you soon.  GL! 

MikesFLGirl

rainlily:

I'm sorry that you are sick and having such a hard time right now.  I'm sure that you have looked into the NCSS.  I will say that it took 2 full months before we saw any real progress.  One of the most important things for us was getting good naps during the day.  Once V started napping, her nighttime sleep improved.  It took us a long time to stop nursing to sleep, but once we moved nursing to an earlier part of the bedtime routine it helped. 

I saw that a couple of moms on here had read Ferber's book.  I gave it a read.  The controlled crying is only a very small part of the book.  My LO didn't have a problem falling asleep.  Her problem was with frequent nightwakings.  I think that she would wake frequently because she is a light sleeper and once awake wanted to be nursed back to sleep.  I extended the time between nursing (much slower than in the book).  It helped us.  I hope your LO is ready to sleep some longer stretches for you soon.  GL! 

This is Caleb to a tee. He has no problem getting to sleep. It is staying asleep that is the issue.

starlingrose

Relax. Breathe! I need to tell you this was exactly me last week. No one told me there is a secret growth spurt at 7.5 mo -- my ds was waking 5 times a night for almost a whole week. I was so desperate, almost through in the towel too. He just grew into a giant almost overnight and went down to one feed last night and sleeping in. See if someone can give you a break for a few hours to yourself in between his meals and take a nap or go out. Even if its only 3hours it will help.

Also - nevermind what ppl say about ds. You do not have to wean him and since when is 7mo "the" time to wean? WHO & everyone else recommends 2yrs. Do what you feel is right in your heart. Dont stop breastfeeding because ppl are giving you the side-eye. Also, I have many friends who FF and CIO and thier kids dont sleep. How sad would you be if you tried those things and he still didnt STTN? Good luck hun, hope you get some rest soon!