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Honoring angel babies at a baby shower...

DH and I are putting together (well, me really ;)) a Jack and Jill baby shower for our good friends who are due with their son in early July.  Last March they lost their triplets at 22 weeks and I'm trying to think of a way to remember the triplets while also celebrate their new son.  They are excited for the shower and I want to make it meaningful.  Knowing them, they'd love to have their 3 babies remembered in some way.  Any ideas?

Re: Honoring angel babies at a baby shower...

  • LCB34LCB34 member

    I would just run it by your friend before doing anything.

    My losses were no where near as late as hers but, I want my baby shower to be about the baby I have and not about what I am still mourning.  I would not be comfortable with some type of memorial up at my baby shower unless it wasn't blatantly obvious what it was (like three something's hanging off of a chandelier at the food table or a special bouquet of flowers).  But actually mentioning and talking about my loss would not be what I personally would want to see at that event.

  • well, the 1st thing that comes to mind is three candles (votives?) lit on a shelf or something kinda on the edge of the "scene" but I would MOST CERTAINLY ask mom what she would like to do, or what's ok with her.

    Your heart is in the right place, but people handle grief in different ways.

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  • I would ask her and also do something not too obvious.  maybe a corsage with 3 flowers?
  • imageLCB34:

    I would just run it by your friend before doing anything.

    My losses were no where near as late as hers but, I want my baby shower to be about the baby I have and not about what I am still mourning.  I would not be comfortable with some type of memorial up at my baby shower unless it wasn't blatantly obvious what it was (like three something's hanging off of a chandelier at the food table or a special bouquet of flowers).  But actually mentioning and talking about my loss would not be what I personally would want to see at that event.

    Ditto this, exactly.

    My losses weren't anywhere near as late as hers, but I did take them very very hard.  I wore a necklace to remember my twins for years.  But I wouldn't have been comfortable acknowledging that loss at my shower.

    It's so sweet of you to think of her precious babies, and I'm sure she'll appreciate that you haven't forgotten.  But check with her before doing anything.

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  • Ditto PP's about talking to the mama first.

    And my first thought was also something subtle like 3 simple candles lit somewhere or maybe 3 white flowers in centerpiece full of other colorful flowers.  

    You're a good friend :)

  • I think maybe a special gift like angels charms, might be better than a 'display' (even with good intentions). That way her lost can be acknowledged be still have the new baby as the focus.

    image
  • I agree you should check with the couple and their comfort level, BUT To provide another perspective from the prior posts - as someone who did have a late loss at almost the same time as your friends, I would LOVE if our Doodles were honored at a shower or party for Toodle, we think of them as part of our family/Toodle's siblings. They may feel the same, especially if she went through L&D, birth, holding and naming the babies, et cetera.

    I think the candles/flowers ideas are nice. Maybe three separate plants/flowers or something, a note on the invite, something along those lines?

    We mentioned the Doodles on Toodle's birth announcements even since siblings are usually mentioned and we didn't want to leave them out (said he was watched over by Noah and Talia).

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  • How abou a donation to the march of dimes instead of a favor? Maybe indicate it is in memory of the triplets. I agree u should run it by your friend first.
    ****
  • Ask the mom to be.  I don't want anything special about the twins at our shower.  Everyone at my shower, knows what this baby means to us given our loss, but I want to celebrate this baby and what he means to us, not cloud the event with everyone mentioning Phoebe and Evan.  I have a special necklace that I wear and a mother's ring with their birthstones and I am happy with that.

     I do plan on having maternity photos taken with me holding their portrait and I have a 'little brother' onesie for newborn pictures, since I know we will never forget them, but I want the shower to be all about the good and this baby uniquely.

  • I agree that you must talk to the mommy first, but I would have LOVED to have Gregory honored in some small way at my shower.  Of course we were there to celebrate my new baby, but it would have meant a lot to me if the host offered to do something like what you are speaking of.  I like the idea of 3 flowers in the corsage. =)
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