What's her name again? — The Bump
2nd Trimester

What's her name again?

Our pregnancy is a blessing, no doubt about it. It came as a surprise about two years ahead of schedule, but a blessing.

We had told most of our family at the start of 2nd tri, but SO didn't know how to tell his mom and sister. They both live 8 hours away, he only sees them twice a year if that due to conflicting schedules. He talks to them regularly on the phone but the conversations are normally focused on the problems the mom and sister are having and not so much "what's new with you? How's Donna doing?" etc... so no good lead into the "you're going to be a grandma/aunt" conversation.

I asked SO to find out his blood type for that rhogam (sp?) deal and figured his mom would sure wonder why he needed to know his blood type and that might spark a convo... It did.

From what he told me it went like this:

His mom was venting for 20 minutes about his sister and nephew and he asked if she was ready to be a grandma again and she said "No". Then a couple of negative comments SO didn't repeat to me, and then the kicker- "What's her name again?"

(We haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. SO would see that side of the family for holidays and I would go and visit my family for holidays. But she should know my name! We have been together for some time! I have sent her holiday cards.)

Soon enough, she came around and said she will come for the delivery and to help out afterward. My family won't be able to be there so it will be nice to have help from someone who has raise two kids those first few days. Hope she can remember my name when she comes to visit.

Re: What's her name again?

  • um, just out of curiosity, why don't you visit for holidays together?

    i just can't stand being away from dh for xmas or thanksgiving, so it's definitely been a choice i had to make. the last time we had xmas with my side was 4 years ago and that's tough too.

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  • Are you serious??? Wow... Just Wow...

    That's lame and I'm sorry.

    If you have been together for a long time (long enough to send holidays cards) I agree that she should know your name. And what's with the negative comments?

  • Ouch.....here's hoping you don't find out that the 8 hours separation is a blessing in disguise.
  • image bstrangely:

    um, just out of curiosity, why don't you visit for holidays together?

    i just can't stand being away from dh for xmas or thanksgiving, so it's definitely been a choice i had to make. the last time we had xmas with my side was 4 years ago and that's tough too.

    I go visit my family for the holidays.  My husband is usually hunting or working.  It works well for us. 

  • I don't know if I would even want her to help me out!  She sounds like a true winner Confused

    Good luck I hope she turns around and is helpful to you!

  • uhhh... WOW.  My jaw dropped when I read that!  She sounds incredibly self-absorbed, and a little less than tactful.  I hope the visit and "help" doesn't cause more stress than it's worth!  Good luck!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • If that was my MIL, I would not want to meet her when I'm giving birth.  Sorry, but I think that having her help out could be a disaster. 
  • To me it sounds like she's a little upset that her son is having a baby with someone she has never met.  I don't really blame her. Maybe you should also take a look at what she might be thinking and plan some sort of meeting before the baby comes so that she can feel more included in her son's life.
  • I think that unless you have the chance to meet and spend time with her, I most definitely wouldn't invite her immediately after baby is born.  I wouldn't want someone whom I've never met to be with me when my daughter was born.  I hardly wanted the MIL, who I did know, near me...
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