Babies: 9 - 12 Months

DH watching LO, do you leave instructions?

My DH is not usually alone with Jackson for long periods of time.  We are usually all together.  He does spend a good amount of time with him when he gets home from work and on the weekends, but I am usually here too.

I am going to be gone for about 7 hours later.  I left a list of when Jackson should be fed next, how much formula, and how much on the solids.

I felt really weird writing it out... but I just don't think DH knows exactly how much to feed DS, or how often I have been feeding him since I stopped BF. 

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Re: DH watching LO, do you leave instructions?

  • I'd write it out OR have your DH call after LO takes a bottle or eats to "check in".  My DH, even though he's VERY involved with our LO, had a tough time remembering his schedule until just a couple months ago.
  • DH watches Trent every friday during the day and every other weekday from 2 to 5 before I get home. He also has had him by himself for a few days at a time while I was away on business. The first time he had him for a several hours alone I just verbaly went over the amounts of formula and such and he still called to double check. If it's the first time your DH will have him for an extended period of time I don't see anything wrong with leaving notes.

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  • I just asked DH if he would want me to leave instructions and he said he feels comfortable enough at this point not to need any.  That said, I would definitely go over things with him before I left and probably get some things together for B to eat just to be sure.  
  • No, my DH knows DD's schedule. I could just leave all day and he wouldn't have to call. However, it sounds like yours recently changed, so if DH hasn't had time to learn what it is, I don't see an issue with you jotting a few things down. Don't feel bad.
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  • LVilaLVila member
    If you are the primary care giver for your child during the day and your H doesn't know what the normal schedule is, then there is nothing wrong with leaving a list of things. My DH is very involved with my DD, but I'm home with her while he works 8-5:30ish, so I can't expect him to know what we do. I wouldn't be too regimented, though (i.e. We do play time at x, we do a walk at y, etc.). I pretty much leave feeding times and what to give her as solids. 
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  • I would if I were gone all day.  I'm the primary care giver during the week and, on weekends, I usually tell DH what is usual as we go along.  I wouldn't swear that he's got it all his memory.

    Edited to add:  I wouldn't care if he departed from the routine, but I would write it down just in case he wanted to follow it. 

  • DH knows he is on his own. It's his child too, he knows her general routine and what/when she eats. He has to figure out his own groove with her in order to have a happy Marley and Daddy.
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  • I write because DH gets easily distracted and will sometimes forget to feed himself!  At least with a schedule he'll know in the back of his mind that she needs to eat at x time.
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  • DH has Zack while I'm at work on Sundays, so he's got most everything figured out. The only thing I do for him is prepare bottles, because I'm picky about what milk gets used fresh vs. frozen. If I didn't get the bottles ready for him, DH would just grab all fresh milk from the fridge or use frozen, and that would be fine in the long run.

    The first Sunday he was home alone with Zack I did go over some basics on what I usually did with him during the days, so I think you're fine!

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  • imageLVila:
    If you are the primary care giver for your child during the day and your H doesn't know what the normal schedule is, then there is nothing wrong with leaving a list of things. My DH is very involved with my DD, but I'm home with her while he works 8-5:30ish, so I can't expect him to know what we do. I wouldn't be too regimented, though (i.e. We do play time at x, we do a walk at y, etc.). I pretty much leave feeding times and what to give her as solids. 

    Yeah this is basically what I did. I said his last bottle was at x time.  He should get another around x time, and solids 1 hour after that.  He should get one more bottle right before bed. 

    He gets 7oz of formula at a time, 3 tsp of pears, and oatmeal mixed with formula.  Try to get him to bed when he looks tired between 7-8, and he will probably take one more nap... if he starts getting fussy, just put him down.

    I just wanted to leave guidelines and specifics on the food.

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  • no-he knows how much formula she takes and how often and he knows her hungry and tired cues. if him feeding solids is too much let it slide-it isn't necessary for LO to need it nutritionally (it's mostly for learning how to eat)...you can always fill bottles with water and tell him how many scoops if you are that worried about it. lettin him just enjoy his time with LO may make him want to do it more so try to limit the rules
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  • no .. dh is w/ her 3 days a week all day while i work - they have their own schedule worked out.

     

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  • DH works a lot and is not usually home alone for long periods of time with DD so yes, I would leave a general outline for him. 

  • i've only left LO for at most an hour, and usually it's during his nap. when i left him, i made sure to BF right before i left, and DH fed him solids after he woke up. that's not normally how we do things, but it worked. DS doesn't take a bottle, so i can't be gone that long.
  • DH cares for DS just as much as I do, so no, I wouldn't write anything out.  They do just fine on their own
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  • Um, no. I'd write out a list for my mom or for a babysitter... not for my child's parent.
  • imageSusieQ1982:
    Um, no. I'd write out a list for my mom or for a babysitter... not for my child's parent.

    No reason to be snippy... I am at home with DS every day.  MH works until 6..and I just stopped BF a few days ago so he is unaware of our schedule.

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  • I don't leave written instructions but I do leave verbal. It's super basic though, bottle every 4 hours, solid in between. Nothing really to write.
  • my dh is a teacher, his vacations are the only time he's alone with DS for long lengths of time.  I write out the instructions on the first day as a reminder to get him back into the swing of things, because most likely things have changed since the last time he did it, but then I don't from there on through the vacation.

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  • I don't, but DH used to be home with DD a few days a week when I was at work, so I've never felt the need to. If I felt like he needed to know I wouldn't hesitate to write it down.
  • I always leave a note that tells DH when DS should eat.  He knows how much he eats, but I'm always getting the food ready, so he never pays attention to the schedule.
  • Nope, I don't leave instructions.
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