xp: mom guilt for 2u2 = bedrest violation, sob/vent

christina06

I posted this on High-risk but thought you ladies with 2u2 could also provide some insight... 

So I'm chaulking this up to mother's guilt.  My DD is almost 22 mos old and the joy of our lives.  She's teething and the other night she woke up in pain asking for medicine for her 'owie.'  I lathered on the orajel then consoled her and rocked her to sleep.  As I'm holding this precious little girl in my arms the guilt starts.  What will I do if she needs me but I'm occupied with her baby brother that is soon to arrive and will she feel neglected b/c I won't be able to rush to her aid when she needs me.  Right now she is so happy and enjoying her life and I feel guilty for turning it upside down.  My friend pointed out that one benefit of having another when she is so young is that she won't ever really remember being a single but even if she doesn't remember it - will it affect her?

So, I guess to compensate my own guilt, we spent the day full of activities.  Did I mention that I'm on bedrest for placental abruptions and PTL so I haven't been able to be as active a mother as I would like.  We went to story time at the bookstore and they were having the youth orchestra play and I wanted her to experience it.  Plus, there was a kite festival and with the gorgeous weather today I felt that we had to do that.  She had a wonderful time and enjoyed it all, but now I'm paying for it physically.  I just went to the bathroom and there was blood in my discharge so I know that means I overdid it and I'm hoping it stops soon.  I dread telling DH b/c I know he'll lecture me but it's hard feeling torn between what I want to do, what I feel I know I should do and what I am capable of doing.

ugh.....sob.

CaitlinJ22

i think the same thing often. How can I help DS if DD is crying too? DH works on a rig for 3 out of every 6 wks, so I am alone at night those weeks. I know it will work out, and I will have those horrible nights where I feel like a failure, but Ill get through them and so will you. 

You need to take it easy. Luckily you dont have much longer to go, but you need to realize that toddlers dont need crazy outings to be happy. Sit in your backyard with some fun things for her to do and she'll be happy.

GL to you! 

crittermama

I could have written this word for word (our daughters are even about the same age and our EDDs are just days apart!). The closer I get to the end of this pregnancy, the more guilt I feel about completely changing my daughter's life without her having any say. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but it's that mommy guilt. I just try to focus on the future. Sure, things are going to be crazy for a while but I'll just have to go with the flow until things settle down. In the long run, my daughter will have a sister who I'm sure she'll bond with and have a great childhood with since they're so close in age and all. 

I'm not on bedrest but I have been told that I am at risk for PTL. I avoided bedrest because I'm not dilating past 1cm but I am effacing at a more rapid rate than I should be. Anyway, I know the guilt you're talking about here and wanting to still do fun things with DD. I've had to just sit in the backyard and let her play or we sit on the couch together and read books. You're so close to the end that slowing down for another week or 2 is what's best. I just keep reminding myself that I'd feel more guilty if I overdid it and ended up with an infant in the NICU and a toddler at home... 

kpt

I am doing a lot of the same spoiling but not all the time b/c I realize that I was 18 months old when my brother was born and I dont remember a blessed thing. I do remember when my sister was born and not being very excited about that but I was 4 by then.