Am I being too protective? Over re-acting?

AWD

I'll try and keep this short:

My mom only keeps Cooper when MIL has an appt or something comes up so maybe once per month. However she keeps my neice and/or newphew (7 and 9) daily after school for 2 hours. My mom does not work. Well last week she had my 7 y/o neice and my DS. I pick DS up at her house and it kind of rubbed me the wrong way when she mentioned she mowed the front yard and sent my 3 y/o to the back yard to be "watched" and play with my 7 y/o neice for 45 mins or so whlie she mowed. IDK maybe it's not that big of a deal but anything could of happend granted they live in a new neighborhood on a VERY quiet street only about 3 houses so it's very private but helloooo you do not work why the heck did you have to mow right then. You have every morning free to do that but you wait until my neice gets there that day and send her to the back to watch DS. Why not just do it the next day when you are child-less til 3pm.

Also not my place to say anything but she has been letting my neice and nephew take their bikes through the woods in her back yard maybe 25-50 yards of woods to another neighborhood and play with other kids their age. By theirselves!! They are 7 and 9 let me remind you.

Yesterday she called to ask if she could take DS to the park for the day with neice/nephew play putt/putt, playground, and ride paddle boats. I said no and she got mad. I told her that was alot on her (not trying to be mean but she can't walk from the car to the mailbox without getting winded, she drives around a parking lot for 20 mins looking for the closed spot) there is no way she would of got on that paddle boat with them. I didn't feel comfortable with him being around a pond with her and 2 other kids after what she has shown mw about the way she "watches" them. Everytime I go to pick DS up at her house he is either quietly playing by himself as though he is bored or watching TV eating junk! He has even told me he doesn't like staying with her b/c she sits on the couch and watches TV all day.

She is the type of person you can't say anything to "nicely"/"openly" b/c she beigns yelling as though she does nothing wrong and makes it our to be my fault and me being paraniod. She told me yesterday she had 3 kids and we were all fine. I quickly told her that she was 25 at the time too not 55. I want to approach her but being pg and all I don't want alot of conflict at this time etc.. I want her and my dad to know my kids etc... and not cause a huge uproar etc....

WWYD?

DandelionMom

It is hard to have grandparents as the daycare provider.  Especially if they're not paid or not paid much (I have no idea if this is your situation or not). 

If it is at all possible, I'd look for another sitter because it sounds like you have some real concerns about your son's safety when he's with her. 

kevschickee2

I don't see anything wrong with her being in the front yard and them in the back yard.  I'm sure the 7 year old would have said something if something went wrong.  As for the put put things.  I prob would have let them go because I am sure they had to have life guards in the area for the paddle boats.

I would have been excited that she wanted to take him somewhere fun if you think she just watches tv all day

KoriBrett

a 9 & 7 year old riding through some woods to a friend's house, no big deal as long as they keep together.  Hell I was riding my bike through UofMich campus at 7-9 to get to my friend's dad's barber shop & hang out. 

7 year old watching the little one for 45min, eh, yeah she could have mowed at another time but still it wouldn't bother me *depending on the 7 year old*.

bored watching tv eating crap - not the best but you said it's only about once a month.

The park also wouldn't have bothered me at all, I just would have asked her to not do the paddle boats, the rest would've been fine w/me.

shopgirl78

Sort of, yes.  I send my kids to play alone in the backyard (obvioiusly not Jacob) and watch them from the back door or kitchen window, but also pick up the living room.

I was the same way when I was young, I rode my bikes all through the woods and back.  Although I admit, I'd be scared to let my kids do this!  Luckily we have no woods.

Water does scare me but I'd trust my mother afterall she managed with three kids, plus the 7 & 9 year old should know about water safety already.

 

hopefulmom

If you don't want to cause a rift in the family by talking to her about the safety of your DS then I would just stop asking her to babysit.  If her back yard is fenced in I wouldn't have a problem with the 7 year old playing (watching) your 3 year old.  If it is not fenced in then I wouldn't like it.  Can she "see" the backyard from where she is mowing in the front?  I agree with you...why couldn't the mowing be put off.  As for going to the park I'm sure the older kids would be required to wear life vests (it is a requirement here even with paddleboats) so I would not have a problem with her taking him.  It sounds like he is old enough to obey her rules...especially if he can say he is bored at her house because she sits on the couch and watches TV all day.  Unless you are paying her...what do you want her to do if she is watching him?  At 3 he doesn't need to be played with all the time.  There is a lot of play that can happen when Grandma is sitting on the couch.

So Long Astoria

No, you're not being over protective.

A 7 year old is not cut out to watch a 3 year old alone.

Your child's safety comes before mom's feelings.  

AWD

OK so maybe I am being a little too worried. I have to add though she doesn't play with  him AT ALL!!!! Even if we go to visit together she doesn't make an effort to get off the couch and interact with him. I don't ask she play with him all day but some interaction would be nice. Other then taking him to Wal-mart to buy a toy and pass time. My MIL keeps him most days and I feel completely OK with her so it's just my mom that I don't feel great about. Thanks for the input ladies.

mlm1128

I think that if all she does with him is watch tv and eat I would rather have him playing with the 7 year old.  At least he is interacting, ya know? 

I let dd play in my mom's front yard (she's on a cul de sac) with my 10 year old nephew all the time while we are in the back.  BUT...either my SIL or myself checks on them every 5-10 minutes.  We have both been called over protective, so I don't know how much that really means. But I have no issue with dd playing with other kids if an adult is at least nearby,  She is in the back at my sitters with a 6 year old all day.  She is in and out of the house with a baby.  It's fenced in, but there's a gate they can get  out if they really want to.