s/o hammidowns...

MissyOlivePants

Because DD is much bigger than her cousin, we have been passing all of her clothes on to her.  I was assuming that we'd eventually get it back from my SIL  (DH's sister).  But NOTHING has come back (except for the CD's she decided not to use).  Well, SIL is pg again (whole'nother story).  I was chatting with MIL the other day who mentioned that SIL had given away all of the gender neutral stuff to a friend who'd had a boy and she was regretting it because she's not finding out the gender this time.

Ummm....that better not be any of our gender neutral clothes!! I'm just sayin'. 

But I'm curious where she's storing all the clothes we've passed on, because they have a teeny-tiny apartment - and we've passed on a ton of clothes.

Or am I assuming wrong that once you pass clothes on that you shouldn't expect them back (I didn't say I wanted them back, but....)?

njh514

Yikes. I think if someone specifically says "BORROW" or "LOAN" then you'll get it back. If not, then the assumption is probably that it belongs to them now and they can do as they please. I hope you get your stuff back. That's annoying.

SapphyrEyes

Once I pass clothes on I don't expect them back.

felt_tip_pen

If someone passed on clothes to me, I would not think they wanted them back, unless they said something to me about it. I've been given plenty of hand-me-downs, and when we're done I've always Freecycled them.

pixy_stix

Unless you told her that you wanted them back, I wouldn't assume that you are getting them back.  Everything that's been passed to us (barring cds from andrealynn), I'm not planning on giving back but passing along.

Now I'm wondering if I should ask people if they want them back after I'm done.  /

karelaorange

Ditto everyone else.  On that note, though, I've been wondering if it's rude to give clothes to someone else and ask for them back... I haven't been loaning clothes because I felt rude asking for them back.

MissyOlivePants

Ok - maybe I'm just assuming wrong & jumping to conclusions anyway since I haven't asked her. Not that I planned to save any of the clothes I gave her, but I would hate to buy more girl clothes if we have another girl some day.  She knows that we're planning to have another child...some day.

papagena

If you didn't say you wanted them back, then no, I wouldn't expect it.  Sorry!  I've gotten hand me downs from a gal, and I have no notion that she expects them back - don't know her very well, so don't know if they'll be having a #2, and she didn't say anything, so I've figured they're mine to do with what I please.

MissyOlivePants

I guess I should have been specific with her that I would want them back.  She's not the most responsible gal on the block, but I thought I was doing them a favor.

K.a.T.e

Your assumption is incorrect but I see where you are coming from.  Giving clothes to someone does not imply that you would get them back.  Did you tell her that you would like them back?  Did you put some sort of identifier in the clothing? 

We have been so lucky that people are giving us gently used clothing for our LO and I always ask (when received) if they want them back or if I should pass them along.

I'd have a conversation with your SIL the next time you give her clothes or stop giving them to her.  

*kms*

I can see where she would think they were hers to do with as she pleases but that's super annoying for you.  Everything we've received as a hand-me-down I've given back or at least offered to give back.  When I've given out stuff that we aren't keeping for baby #2, I've said it's yours, do what you want when you're done. 

I'd be annoyed but now you know to tell her you want your stuff back

Lotte134

MissyOlivePants:

Or am I assuming wrong that once you pass clothes on that you shouldn't expect them back (I didn't say I wanted them back, but....)?

This sorry.  It would have been nice of her to ask, but I wouldn't say it's wrong that she didn't.

daisyterp

I always hang onto handmedowns that are given to us and offer to give them back when we are done w/ them. 

I have one friend w/ a DD who's 3 yrs older than DD, and a son who is like 6 months younger than DD, and she has shipped me BOXES of clothes.  She told me that she wants none of it back.  DH's cousin gave us 3 or 4 shopping bags FULL of baby girl stuff when DD was born, then she had another baby girl like 9 months later and I sent all of the newborn- 6 month stuff back and was told that it wasn't needed because this new baby got all new stuff. 

 

Jennicap

I have learned from my sister don't give anything away you expect to get back! LOL My sister did that with her SIL and she lost a lot of clothes she expected back! She has told me IF I have a girl she'll give me some of my niece's clothes that she still has but she wants them back when I'm done with them. I get it so I would take the utmost care of them and give them back when LO out grows them. BUT if she were to give me bags full I really don't think she'd expect them back and I'd pay it forward later on.