So I love my DH (stupid FH friend mentioned)

mdm2137

So last night I went to dinner with a friend. One who's been trying to give me TTC advice but she conceived her son on the first try and her daughter was an accident so she really doesn't know what it's like to "try" for a baby. I told her how I was going to lunch today with my preg friend and it was going to be hard b/c she is 30 wks and I will look at her belly and be sad b/c I should be almost 20 wks. She said yeah, I feel that way when I see preg people and I want to have another baby.

WTF?

I am not saying anything negative about people that already have kids, but looking at pregnant belly and wanting more kids and looking at a preg belly and being sad for the baby you lost are two TOTALLY MOTHER EFFING DIFFERENT THINGS, RIGHT?? Am I wrong for being upset by this?

Anyway, I love DH b/c he said, "Yeah, she totally doesn't get it. She will never have to tell her kids they could've have a brother/sister but they died." I was just surprised by that. Sometimes I forget that DH has experienced the loss with me.

Steph0925

She sounds like a dumba$$

LOL  - seriously though how can someone think that this is the same thing? She really doesn't get it which is just too bad.  I don't think that you should have to go though a m/c to understand that the two things that you are feeling are most certainly NOT THE SAME!  

Sorry you had to deal with this stupidity. 

dondraandluis

Totally not the same! Some people just don't get it.  

BeachCole

No, you're totally right - they are 2 completely different things. She sounds SO ungrateful for how easy it was for her to get her 2 healthy kids. I also forget sometimes that DH has been through this too. I'm sorry she said that to you. :-(

Olive44

Wow.  I cannot believe she said that.  Either she is really insensitive or really dumb. 

Mrs.EmmaLouise

Olive44:

Wow.  I cannot believe she said that.  Either she is really insensitive or really dumb. 

I vote for both. 

bbhalphen

What a sweet DH! 
That girl is an idiot.  It is two totally different things. She was probably trying to find a way to sympathize with you but she totally failed at that.

Lissa832

You're not wrong.  I went to the store earlier for some things for Easter.  I saw a friend of mine that I haven't talked to much since my m/c in April.  She is 39 weeks pregnant, and I just couldn't do it.  We have been TTC for a year now with 3 m/c.  The anniversary of my second m/c is coming up in a couple of weeks.  If someone said what your friend did, I'd probably smack her.  The lesson here. . .some people are stupid.

Etta07

You are so not wrong people who never experience a loss will never get it.  I've definitely experienced similar situations and just cut those people out of my life. . .granted there were other problems as well (she is just ignorant on raising kids and proper developmental milestones for her child).  I am glad your DH gets it because it has been a real struggle for us and our relationship.  Just stay strong and thankful of his support and you'll find the right people to have in your lives.

erinb1025

Mrs.EmmaLouise:

Olive44:

Wow.  I cannot believe she said that.  Either she is really insensitive or really dumb. 

I vote for both. 

 

THIS! I second that.