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1st Trimester
Let me add this, her Boyfriend got her job for her and he happens to own several fast food establishments. She comes from a family who makes donations to to the private college she attends out here in California annually.
She is 20 years old and drives a Porsche Boxster and has the latest anything that money could buy.
She also makes a salary of 35k per year and spends that on hair extensions. So money was not the issue for her.
The childs father actually sent her Sprinkles cupcakes (google them) on Friday to say how excited that he was going to be a Dad and that hse was going to be a great 'mommy'
Her reason for ending the relationship, he was too old at 27!
So as she skips around the office like its no big deal in her Chanel Ballet flats, Im having a hard time not firing her!
She had not even told her parents that she was pregnant!
YUCK!
Late Tem Abortion! 20 weeks
I am so disgusted at the thought of late term abortions that I had to take a moment in vent.
I am all for womans rights to make the choices as they see fit, and will defend that right until I die.
However upon returning to my office from my RE visit, one of the legal assistants came in after a few "sick" to have an abortion. She was 20 weeks along and I can remember her saying she could feel that baby kicking just a few weeks ago.
Her reason for doing so? She and her boyfriend broke up!
I am literally sitting in my office crying at her complete selfishness and lack of a heart.
I dont usually judge people, but I dont get these woman that see a child as a pawn or a piece of nothing or just tissue!
I mean after seeing my babies heartbeat this morning and see him/her wiggling around in there like they are suppose to it just does not make any sense to me.
After negative test after test and to finally get a positve test back and this constant attack of nausea is the most joyous occasion in my entire life. I thought passing the bar was hard, but making a baby was even harder.
This 20 year old twat decides to just dispose of what others die to have.
I seriously want to fire her or at least take her off all of my cases.
I read all of your post and enjoy your comments and concerns, b/c Im just as happy to be here as most of you are. I even enjoy the occasional stupid can I eat cheese sticks and can I tan questions.
But to give life and be so nonchalant about it is just a$$$$$y to me! Im know that I should not judge, but she is litterally skipping around the office as if she wants me to slap her to the ground!
So sorry I just had to vent!
[<b>edited by:</b> kuma08 at 5:37 PM (GMT -6) on Wed, Mar 31 2010]Let me add this, her Boyfriend got her job for her and he happens to own several fast food establishments. She comes from a family who makes donations to to the private college she attends out here in California annually.
She is 20 years old and drives a Porsche Boxster and has the latest anything that money could buy.
She also makes a salary of 35k per year and spends that on hair extensions. So money was not the issue for her.
The childs father actually sent her Sprinkles cupcakes (google them) on Friday to say how excited that he was going to be a Dad and that hse was going to be a great 'mommy'
Her reason for ending the relationship, he was too old at 27!
So as she skips around the office like its no big deal in her Chanel Ballet flats, Im having a hard time not firing her!
She had not even told her parents that she was pregnant!
YUCK!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Late Tem Abortion! 20 weeks
20 week abortions, for non-medical reasons, are legal in Cali?
ETA: I was curious so I did some googling. Apparently one can have a non-medically related abortion in most areas of the country up to 24-ish weeks. I had no idea.
Not saying I think what she did was okay or anything but, I think it is really important to remember that we have no idea what is really going on in other peoples' lives. Yes, this is sad, but you may be missing key information about her circumstances that might make her decision more sympathetic. I say this because my SIL had a late abortion and, in her circumstances, I understood (I'm not going to go into details).
I would never do that and after having a m/c I have an even harder time hearing about people voluntarily giving up their babies, but I try to remember that everyone is different.
Sorry you have to have that shoved in your face though. That would be difficult.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
Yes they are! Legal I checked and I am flabbergasted!
I know I cant judge her but she had an ideal situation. Great guy who was really eager to ensure that she and that baby had a great life. She was one of the few fortunate.I could understand if maybe she wasnt happy one week and then acting as if life was taken from her, as though she lost her baby.
I see unfortunate family situations everyday and I hope to whatever God she prays to, that she has some sort of contrition and moral compass. Maybe even if she took down he ultrasound photos off her cubicle that might help
Wow I would want to smack her as well.. 20 weeks is really late! I did not know that you could have an elective abortion that late in CA...
I was offered one up to 24 weeks in Colorado ( We had a quad screen result with a high chance of downs and they said we could abort up to 24 weeks if the amnio came back with downs) Of corse I refused both the amnio( due to slight m/c risk.. had previous m/c) and the ability to terminate.. ds was already kicking!! He was born healthy.
People can do whatever they want.. its their business and women have a right to choose but I could NEVER terminate! This post makes me very sad..
This makes me so sad just to read this. I can't imagine how you were feeling hearing it first hand and having to deal with this girl. I am pro-choice as well, but I do personally feel there are some "right" reasons for abortion and "wrong" reasons. I thank whatever God may be that I was never put in a position to have to consider my options so I try not to judge, but I judge this girl. I don't know how she could live with herself especially after feeling the baby moving. But I guess that will be her burden to bear.
I knew someone that had an abortion (I don't think it was late term) because she got pregnant by the guy that she was leaving her husband for. She had already made the decision to leave her husband for this guy, but she didn't want anyone to "do the math" when the baby was born and figure out she was actually cheating on her husband. BTW, she was in her mid 30s when this happened, so selfish comes in all ages. They had the money and were both bringing their own kids into the mix, so the timing was the only reason.
I think it's disgusting. F*ck that woman.
20 weeks is waaaay too late in a pregnancy to get a non-medically necessary abortion. Anything after the 1st trimester is way too late in my eyes.
Adoption!! Helllllooo
Yes it should be. If it's not legal then the woman who have their big u/s and find out that something is horribly wrong with their baby won't be able to make that decision. Not downs, but horribly wrong where the baby is in pain then they should be able to make a humane decision for their child.
If that really is her sole reason for getting an abortion then she's a horrible person and will have to live with that for the rest of her life.
:::peeking over from TTCAL:::
Let me just say that I would not be able to be in the same office as that twatwaffle. I would have a hard time not kicking her FH-a$$ and if I had the authority - I probably would fire her stupid, selfish a$$. not that I guess you legally have any reason.
She is a stupid FH who has no idea how lucky she is. I hate her and I don't even know her.
does her poor ex-BF know she aborted their baby?
OMG - this pisses me off beyond belief. And I am totally pro-choice but not as a form of BC and certainly not late term abortions with no valid medical reason.
I thought I would never wish this on anyone but I hope she is never able to have children. Karma is a b!tch.....
:::heading back over to TTCAL:::
I think all the women on this post are talking about non-medical late term abortions..... those for medical reasons are excluded from this post.
I'm not going to get into my personal beliefs (however, I am strongly pro-choice); but for the record, for those who are calling an abortion at 20 a "late-term abortion," an abortion is not considered "late-term" until past the time of viability (24wks). So technically - no matter how we feel about her choice, it was not a late-term abortion. Late-term abortions are only legal for medical reasons and these are women who come to this decision after excruciating pain and heartache. In fact, there are only a few docs in the country that perform these true late-term abortions. I pray that I and all the women I know will never have to make a decision like having an abortion (late-term or before). I am so thankful that I have never had to make a decision like this!
I work for a women's health care agency and I have seen women who use abortions as birth control and I have also seen women agonize with their decision. Either way, it's a lot to deal with, and being someone who deals with this daily - I do understand perfectly how emotionally draining this is, OP. I do and I'm sorry! ::HUGS::
Exactly! You never have to raise a child you don't want. Adoption is always an option, whether people realize that or not.
Not in the eyes of the law. Since the Supreme Court decided Roe v. Wade, states can only intervene at the point of viability (24 weeks).
ETA: Actually, states can 'regulate' abortion procedures after the end of the first trimester. States cannot proscribe (prevent) abortions until viability.
i think this is very well said.
also, i understand being upset at the idea of this woman having an abortion at 20 weeks, but i'd encourage you to remember that even though you THINK you may know all about her and her situation-- you really don't. even if she's acting casual and nonchallant, that doesn't mean that's what she's really feeling. even if she said the "only" reason she's doing it is because she broke up with her bf, that doesn't mean she's telling you everything. the point is, you just don't know. i understand that you don't agree with her decision, and i don't blame you, but it is ultimately her decision to make.
I didn't say it was the right thing to do. Not sure adoption is always the right choice either. My only point, it's not your decision or your life -- don't get stuck on someone else's choices (good or bad).
Well said.
"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me the petition which I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5
Now, I am in no way defending this girl, but I feel bad for her. It may not be today, and it may not be tomorrow, but there will be a day when she realizes that she has made a mistake.
My biological mother was going to have an abortion right around the same time and in similar circumstances as this girl when she was pregnant with me...luckily, someone she knew wanted a baby badly and was unable to have one naturally and after discussion, that friend and her husband became my parents.
I am very thankful for the selflessness my biological mother had in her decision making. It saddens me that this girl either didn't find her self in a similar situation or have a change of heart before her decision was finalized.
Yea but you completely neglected adoption... as if it never crossed your mind. I was pointing out your negligence.
So, in some situations you'd prefer an abortion at 20 weeks over adoption? Wow. (Medically involved situations aside, this post is about a frivolous abortion)
It's also not my decision when a mother drowns her child in the bathtub, but I get upset about that too; luckily, that is illegal and she will be punished.
Passive people like you who sit back and just let things happen annoy me. It's not my problem, therefore, I don't care.
I really, really, really don't think any of us have enough information here to make any sound judgments on this. We don't know her situation.
I really doubt she was just "la la la, I think I'll abort since it's more convenient, it's no skin off my nose." Even if she was, that is her right and I, for one, defend this right, regardless of whether her reasoning is palatable to the rest of us.
Think what you want.
IMO drowning a baby in water and having an abortion are two EXTREMELY different things -- not everyone thinks this way, and I get that.
I am not a passive person, peoples choices often bother me. Personally, it bothers me to see children neglected and not taken care of and loved the right way (I work with kids like that every day as my career). Heck adoption isn't always the happiest place for a child either -- I have seen it all.
My original post was for the simple reason of not attacking someone 1) you don't know 2) you don't know what she's been through/is going through 3) you didn't get the facts from yourself.
so she should be punished and her abortion should have been illegal?
who is to say what is a frivolous reason? too many girls and women get pregnant when they still are frivolous people. but i'd rather preserve all their options, including abortion than go down the road of making it illegal. if you've ever looked into what countries like poland and nicaragua actually do to make abortion bans stick, you'll see that it inevitably alters tons of laws.
and when you defend adoption, i think you should be aware of what that means in far too many cases. not all, of course, but far too many.
https://poundpuplegacy.org/node/20819
AMEN! Many women choose to have an abortion for a very diverse range of reasons! Afterward, they experience a range of emotions too (guilt, remorse, and yes - even relief). I couldn't agree with you more, Mante!
Yes, I think abortions that late should be illegal. I consider a frivolous reason: "He and I broke up, so I ditched the baby." Situations like that should not be legal IMO. Maybe this wasn't the reason the woman mentioned in the OP aborted her child, but I'm basing all my responses off situations in which that is the only reason the child is aborted. I'm also only talking about abortions that occur in the 2nd trimester or later.
I believe a "frivolous abortion" can be defined. If there is no medical reason for the woman to receive the abortion (such as the child having some condition, the mothers life/health in danger, fetus is unhealthy and will have a low quality of life, etc) this is an example of how you can seperate abortions because of Downs and abortions because of break-ups.
And the issue with children being adopted into terrible homes is a completely different issue.
Not the only one, but we're few and far between on this board. I agree 100%. Absolutely no excuse.
I couldn't agree more. Oh, and everyone who is defending late-term abortions (which would probably be better defined as after movement is felt) can go ahead and look up the procedure for such an abortion. It's fvcking disgusting and horrific. I'm sure that no God would back the right to rip your child to threads.
ETA: This is only concerning abortions for "frivolous" reasons. If there is a medical reason then it may be the only way to give the baby peace. Plus, there is often a different procedure done in those cases that is more humane, in my opinion.