North Carolina Babies
Options
Speaking of discipline...
Would you ever discipline someone else's child? Like if you were at a playground and a child was either biting or hitting or throwing things or other children? How about if your child was the offender- would you mind if someone else disciplined your child and told her "No, we don't do that" ?
Just wondering....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Speaking of discipline...
We aren't really to this point yet, but I would hope if my child bit or hit another child, someone would let them know that they should not do that. Would I want them to spank my child? No way! That should be left for me and DH.
I don't have a problem telling other children No or Stop if they are doing something they shouldn't do.
If it was a friend of mine's child, who Holly was playing with, yes, I probably would (especially if his/her parent wasn't around). If it was a stranger, I'd probably just remove Holly from the situation, but would say something to them if it persisted. If Holly was acting up and I wasn't around, I wouldn't mind if someone said something to her. I can't imagine I wouldn't discipline her myself if I was around though. :-)
ETA: By disciplining them, I really just mean saying something to them. I probably would not feel ok giving them time out or whatever, and definitely not physically disciplining them. I would speak to them/ask them to stop whatever bad behavior was occuring, and then speak to the parent whenever I had the chance.
Hmmm good question. Momma bear does tend to come out in me when we are a playground especially when older kids are not being nice. We had a recent experience at the zoo and I didn't discipline them but I did ask them to watch out for the little kids. They were old enough to know better!
That is probably as far as I would go. If it were five or six 3 year olds and one was hitting or biting I'd probably say something to the mother first if she did not see it. I may say "no no that is not nice" to the child but that would be the extent.
If it were kids in my neighborhood I'd probably be a little more tough but I know their parents well and I'd want them to do the same to my child or at least send mine home and let me know what he did (I'm assuming he'd be older.)
Not sure if I didn't know them.
I do if they are my friend's children. My friend's little boy always takes things from Allie... I actually take them back from him, give them to her, and tell him Allie was playing with that. Not sure exactly how his mom feels... but if she isn't going to do it, I will. It bothers me. Yeah, I'm that b!tch....
I'm in with Hughes, I'd say something if there was no parent there and it was a friend's child and if it was a stranger, do my best to remove DS from the situation.
I actually ran into this situation on Saturday - eating lunch with a friend some children from another table came and sat with us, started poking at DS and talking and running all over the place. Mom came by and said, wow, my kids sure do like your baby! I asked her to please take them back to their table so I could catch up with my friend. Within seconds they were back - I spoke with the kids a minute and then asked that they go back to their parents, to which they refused. Another lady leaned over and said I was being far to nice - but hey, not my kids to yell at. She got up and said something to the parents, they left, lunches on the table moments later.
Since I had already spoken to the parents and kids, I really wasn't sure what else to do other than leave ourselves which we were going to do as soon as DS had finished eating. Luckily, someone else ran them off! Somehow my friend and I ended up talking about expectations and how we knew we were supposed to act when we were that age or we'd be in trouble.... hmm...
I don't mind someone appropriately disciplining my kid. As long as they aren't spanking him - I don't mind someone telling Ben "no" or not to do something.
I have ZERO problem disciplining someone else's kid. Especially when A) their parents aren't around or
if they should be disciplined and they aren't being disciplined. My disciplining of other people's kids involves a serious dirty look and then I tell them that it's not okay to do whatever they are doing and then I will make sure they know I'm watching them like a hawk so they don't do it again. This has happened all of 3 times. All 3 occurrences were at the playground and it was an older kid being a jerk to a little kid.
Also, if friends kids are here - it may be okay for them to jump on the couch at their house, but it's not okay to jump on the couch at my house. I tell them, Miss Speed's house, Miss Speed's rules - I know it may be okay to do that at your house but we don't do that here. If it bugs their parent, I've never heard anything about it. I certainly wouldn't be offended if the table were turned.
This.
If it's here, my house, my rules, like Speed said. Just because they can run at thier house, does not mean they can run here and I will tell them to stop. I also have said something to other kids at our pool when they were playing rough on the waterslides and Chloe was over there. I didn't want her or anyone to get hurt. I have no problem speaking up if their parents don't and it could hurt my kid.
Good job ladies!
See- I was born and raised in Russia, where all ladies are your "aunts" and all men are your "uncles" and you respected the elders- because essentially- THEY were the ones who kept an eye on you...
The little old ladies would go sit outside and watch children play- and if you were being picked on- they would protect you and if you were the offender- they would give you a lecture and then tell your parents on top of that- because if they would turn the blind eye- you would do it again.
I'm fairly blunt like that as I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when something isn't right. So I hope to God that if my child misbehaves that if I am not around or don't see it- that she gets disciplined (no spanking, but a time out or a stern talking to) and then I would be told about it to go back and discuss with her what happened and how to not do it next time. I have no problem telling other parents to watch their children- that is their responsibility... if it embarasses them that someone had the balls to say it to their faces- good- maybe they'll teach their child not to act that way in public....
kids need limits and they are constantly testing them... that doesn't make them bad kids- they just need to be taught by their parents, and if parents aren't doing their job- well then.. there goes our future society...teach respect and you will get respect....
that's just my 2 cents in...