S.O.S - when does it get better?

jarbatz

I am going on 2 weeks post partum now and still struggling with the sleepless nights and crying for seemingly no reason.  Brenna has had a couple good days/nights where she sleeps 2-3 hour stretches and wakes to feed but then has days where she doesn't want to sleep at all (day or night) and just wants to be held.  Those are the days where I find myself asking why we disrupted our previous life for this...and then of course I feel terrible for having those thoughts.  

Anyone dealt with post partum depression?  When Brenna has a bad day, my coping skills just go out the window....

I do have help from family members but not round the clock or anything....and DH went back to work yesterday. 

YaraC

Oh hugs- I promise it does get better. I could have (and did) write the exact same post in those early weeks. Those post partum hormones are awful. I couldn't believe how much I cried at everything. I wondered why I had thought having a baby would be so great. I mourned the loss of our previous life.

But in a few days or maybe a few weeks you will start to feel better. You'll start to adjust to your new reality. Your baby will start to sleep more as she starts to feed better. And then one day (probably not tomorrow and probably not next week) you will realize just how much you are in love with your baby and being a mom.

Hang in there, and come here (when you have a chance) knowing that we have all been there.

ml0904

I also could have written this post. I swear it will get better but if you feel you need help with ppd then call your doc right away. Vivianna would be up all day and I would "this is crazy she is a baby, she is supposed to sleep all the time" Then people would tell me, you have to sleep when she sleeps and I was like "she doesn't sleep!!!!" I think it was about the 3-4 week mark when I noticed a big improvement. I still had a day or two here or there but the majority of days were good ones. Hang in there but don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

iluvtom

I just want to send you big (((HUGS))) I have not gone though it but it must get better --Have you tried to go to your OB or a therapist to talk about it and maybe help you feel better..

fauxshelley

Jarbatz, It's so good to see you!  Brenna is beautiful! 

Let me just tell you girl, you are in the trenches now.  2 weeks go by like a blur.  It's a sleep deprived, happy but sad, exhausted, hormonal blur.  If you are breastfeeding, times that by 100.  It will get better I promise!  If you can, try to take a nap.  Hand that pretty bundle off to someone else and have some recharge time.  Getting some sleep will make you feel like a new woman.  Don't forget to eat.  I know, it sounds simple, but I found that I was so tired and in auto-mode, that I didn't take care of my own needs.  If you still feel depressed, contact your doctor.  You have to remember that you can't properly take care of Brenna if Mommy isn't taken care of. 

((BIG CYBER HUGS TO YOU))

fauxshelley

jarbatz:

Those are the days where I find myself asking why we disrupted our previous life for this...and then of course I feel terrible for having those thoughts.  

I remember looking at my (then) DH and crying and saying "What did we get ourselves into!?!" when Pumpkin was about two weeks old.  Don't feel guilty for thinking that.  It's just because it's harder than you imagined.  You and Brenna will find a routine.  It may take up to 3 months, and that's ok.  Every baby is different.  With Punk, it was a few weeks.  Jack had colick and O.M.G. I thought I would lose it sometimes.  All I can tell you is it will get better.  I promise.

sam19

I know I don't belong on this board but I went through this so I thought I would respond. Hope you all don't mind.

I had pretty severe PPD and my daughter had major colic. I remember when she would have bad days then my days would be worse as well.

My advice is that you make sure you have a big support system. Not just for help but for somebody to talk to. Let those around you know how you are feeling or if you start to get too overwhelmed. See if a grandparent can stay the night or something so that you don't have to get up with her during the night (unless you are BFing) but you are still there with her.

Also, if you think you have or are getting PPD then please, please talk to your doctor. I ignored my symptoms for too long and that I could get through it by myself. I thought people would look down on me for my PPD but it was just the opposite. The best thing you can do is get help and be a happy and healthy mommy for your child.

IF your daughter has colic then talk to your doctor maybe about acid reflux. If you are FFing then you may want to change to a gentler formula or if BFing then cut a few things out of your diet.

It's tough but it's so worth it. I wish you luck and hope you start feeling better soon.

carladillon

Oh sweetie - I've soooo been there.  The first month or two were a blur.  Plus I was BFing AND recovering from c/s (can't remember if you had a c/s?).  All that - plus the sleep deprivation and hormones would make anyone question their sanity.  The first couple weeks I began to question if we had done the right thing by having a child (even though I've wanted one for as long as I can remember).  You can - and will - come out the other side and be able to really enjoy your baby.  I will be honest and say I really didn't enjoy her in the beginning - it wasn't all puppies and rainbows like you expect.  It's hard work and in the beginning they don't really even acknowledge you so it's like "why am I killing myself here?".  But let me tell you - that first genuine smile?  Aaaah.....whenever she has a bad night, all I need is to see her smile and it makes it all better.  And it will be better for you too.

YaraC

I'm butting back in to say, at 2 weeks, don't assume that your feelings are PPD. Your hormones are still going crazy, the whole baby thing is very new and you are majorly sleep deprived. This is prime "baby blues" time.

I'm not attempting to diagnose or whatever I just don't want you to feel like there is something wrong with you because of how you are feeling right now. What you are feeling is normal and will probably resolve as your hormones settle and you get used to your new life. Again, talk to your doctor if you think you might have true PPD.

stever

Don't know the answer, but

livvielo

Major, major hugs to you (I posted here, feeling the same things, when Mallory was around 3 weeks old). I swear it DOES get better. I know it is probably impossible to believe right now, but I promise you things improve. I cried daily for probably 3-4 weeks, from lack of sleep, from feeling overwhelmed, from feeling isolated, from questioning my ability to be a mom... We were also having breastfeeding issues, which compounded things. I *did* talk to my doc about PPD (we were considering putting me on meds, which I didn't do in the end because I did start to feel better).For me, things got better at around 6 weeks. I know that seems like light years away from where you are now, but it does come quicker than you'll realize. I also stopped BFing at 8 weeks--I realized and came to terms with the fact that I am a better, happier, more sane mom formula feeding.Anyhow...you are in the worst of it now, at least in my experience, and it's harder than anyone ever tells you! Can H or family members take over a few times a week so you can get in a solid nap or take a walk or something? I remember H taking care of Mally one night so I could walk up to CVS and honestly, that silly little break did wonders for my mind. Come here and post as much as you can, as the women here have so much wisdom and support. (and try not to beat yourself up about feeling the why-did-we-do-this feelings--I think they are very normal!!)Talk to your doc about PPD if you're at all concerned. Mine said that it is *such* an under-diagnosed condition and super, super common.A million hugs again--you are doing a wonderful job, mama!!! 

Puckchick07

The first few weeks are overwhelming, when you think about all your body has gone through, plus the responsibility of a new baby. It DOES get better. I guarantee.

 

CanadianBio

I seriously found the first 2 weeks to be almost traumatising. It is like something you have never experienced until you actually do it. It does get better, soon. Those Post Partum hormones are a b!tch. I remember breaking down at least once a day for a few weeks.

Being a mom is hard work. Especially with your first baby. Just put yourself into survival mode and don't worry about the little stuff. Make sure that you and the baby are fed and rested and forget everything else. You can wean yourself back onto a daily routine later on.

You said that she wants to be held all the time. Do you have a carrier? Maybe a sling or a moby? The moby saved me for the first 4 months. It allowed me to move around and helped Evan to stay calm, feel safe, and sleep.

Good luck!

leffe1

I think your feelings are normal! I promise you it gets better! I had the same feelings and thoughts. Please hang in there. You can always call your doctor if you want to discuss it in greater detail. Good luck honey!!!

Pesky

  Yes, it does get better!  I would say by 4 wks things began to improve and by 2 mos MUCH better.  Hang in there!

pahokie

Sending tons of hugs your way! For me, things really sucked for the first month.  Things got somewhat better after that, and got a bunch better between six and eight weeks. The improvement will be gradual, but you will get there.

Is there someplace you can sit or lay and snuggle Brenna?  Maybe you will both fall asleep together.

JenniferTCU

Like so many others have said, I could have written this too. I promise you, it gets better! Hang in there, girl. We are here if you need us

PS. I was like you. When Jace had a bad day, which was WAY too often, I didn't cope well. I called Shelley and cussed up a storm more times than I'd like to remember. But as I said, hang in there, honey! The fun, sweet and happy times are RIGHT around the corner. I promise!

busybea

Like everyone mentioned above, it really does get better, I promise. Just try to take care of yourself as much as possible, take and accept ALL the help people offer, even ask for more.  it truly helps a lot.  The hormones are raging right now and doing double summersaults and add lack of sleep, oh boy!  I remember handing my LO to my mom and asking her to keep him because I made a mistake, looking back I knew that was the PPD and his bad colic talking.  It's so worth it, he's the love of my life - you'll see once you get that first coo, smile or wink.  It is really hard in the beginning but it does get easier, just hang in there and again, take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone if you don't.  We're all here for you night and day if you need us.  {{HUGS}}

JenniferTCU

sam19:

I know I don't belong on this board but I went through this so I thought I would respond. Hope you all don't mind.

 

Actually, you DO belong on this board. Because you are awesome. Sam, feel free to respond anytime!

Peppernut

*big hugs*

You are smack dab in the middle.  It does get better after about a month...  You can do it!  If the weather's nice, break out the stroller and force yourself to take a little stroll every day.  Soon her personality will start to shine, she'll smile and kick and focus on you, and it will all be worth it.  Hang in there! 

M.Amy

I have nothing to add to the PPs other than hugs.