WWYD? Re: Easter (Long)

uagirl

DH started calling family tonight to talk to them about what time to be here for lunch on Sunday. 

SIL and BIL have been in the middle of a nasty seperation/divorce drama since last October.  After SIL made an appointment with an attorney, BIL suddenly decided he wanted to be a husband and father, especially once he found out what he would have to pay.  On top of this, BIL is an alcoholic. 

When DH talked to SIL, she told him that if BIL couldn't come, they aren't coming, because they are trying to work things out and want to spend the day together. 

DH and I, along with other SIL, don't feel comfortable around him, especially given things that he did to her and the kids.  We also don't want to make it awkward for the other family members that are coming. 

Now DH and I feel like we're stuck.  On one hand, we don't want to hurt SIL's feelings, but on the other, we aren't comfortable being around him and don't really want him in our house. 

WWYD?

MissLMS

If your SIL wants him there and if they are working things out, I would invite BIL, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or what you think about their relationship.

If you tell them not to come because of the BIL, it could make things bad between you and them for a very, very long time. Especially if they work things out.

Just a suggestion.

12106mrsmun

MissLMS:

If your SIL wants him there and if they are working things out, I would invite BIL, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or what you think about their relationship.

If you tell them not to come because of the BIL, it could make things bad between you and them for a very, very long time. Especially if they work things out.

Just a suggestion.

I have to agree with this.  I'm sorry you're having family drama on Easter.    I hope everything works out ok.

sdkrlm

Coming from someone who is avoiding a repeat of a drama filled Easter last year.... just do your own thing.  If you have a bad feeling about it, more than likely it's right.

Just have whatever at your house and tell SIL that you don't feel comfortable with BIL at the house right now.  They can spend the day together as a family, which if they are trying to mend, will be good for them. 

 

 

aubie96

MissLMS:

If your SIL wants him there and if they are working things out, I would invite BIL, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or what you think about their relationship.

If you tell them not to come because of the BIL, it could make things bad between you and them for a very, very long time. Especially if they work things out.

Just a suggestion.

I agree with this and hope it works out!!

lilcrablegs

It's not appropriate to invite just SIL if they are still married. I know it sucks, but it's the right thing to invite them all.

mrssamuels2b

aubie96:

MissLMS:

If your SIL wants him there and if they are working things out, I would invite BIL, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or what you think about their relationship.

If you tell them not to come because of the BIL, it could make things bad between you and them for a very, very long time. Especially if they work things out.

Just a suggestion.

I agree with this and hope it works out!!

This...hope your Easter goes well.

lisap_30

Ugh - I'm sorry, that's a crappy situation to be in.  When I read Lydia's response, I was like "this, totally", but then I read Sarah's and thought, I kind of agree with this too.   Any chance to have a chat with SIL and see what they really want to do?  I don't think it would be fair to not invite SIL if she wants to be there, and if she does, then I think that regardless of your feelings about BIL, you can't exclude him.

Maybe she will think that them doing their own thing will be best??  Sorry you're having to deal with this!

Leelee06

sdkrlm:

Coming from someone who is avoiding a repeat of a drama filled Easter last year.... just do your own thing.  If you have a bad feeling about it, more than likely it's right.

Just have whatever at your house and tell SIL that you don't feel comfortable with BIL at the house right now.  They can spend the day together as a family, which if they are trying to mend, will be good for them. 

 

I have to agree with this.  If it will make everyone uncomfortable for him to be there, then it really would be good to suggest SIL and BIL do their own thing as a family.  Chances are, everyone giving him the cold shoulder or forcing convo with him won't be good either.