Long DH vent

magnolia_femme

Normally, my DH is totally wonderful and supportive about TTC.  He is a data guy, likes to analyze my chart and asks about CM, OPKs, etc.  When I get upset that we haven't gotten a BFP, he's always reassuring and positive.

Until this weekend.  We just got his SA results back, and they're really good.  Per the standard recommendation, he "saved up" for a week, and now he thinks that's why his count was so high.  He is convinced that we should have less sex because his sperm will be more potent.  I have told him multiple times that we need to do it at least EOD around O time because it's too hard to pinpoint and that not ejaculating for 3 days is counterproductive, etc. 

I can tell he's thinking we've been doing it "my" way for 9 cycles and haven't had any luck.  It's really frustrating, because he's wrong and he thinks he's right.  Hello!!!  I have spent so much time researching and talking to doctors, drinking gallons of green tea and pom juice, choking down pineapple core, and all of a sudden he thinks his 126 million sperm count makes him an expert.  GRRR!

kerrbear72

Yes, he is wrong BUT how about giving him ONE cycle doing it his way? Just for the heck of it, ya know? This way you can say you tried doing it his way.

Who knows - maybe he'll get lucky and it will work

kellbranc

Ug so frustrating when they think they know it all!!! Maybe if you "do it his way" for 1 cycle just to see. If you get the BFP everyone wins anyway!!

XXXXX222

kerrbear72:

Yes, he is wrong BUT how about giving him ONE cycle doing it his way? Just for the heck of it, ya know? This way you can say you tried doing it his way.

Who knows - maybe he'll get lucky and it will work

I agree with Kerrbear.   What's one cycle?  Or, you can have him talk directly with the doctor, maybe he'll trust it from a doctor's mouth.

sroszc

Sorry   I totally feel your pain and frustration. 

My DH is also starting to question our methods.  He had great SA results and is now thinking maybe we're not doing things right or that there's something wrong with me.  It's really hard to try to convince him that it's really just a waiting game.  My DH can't seem to wrap his head around the 20% chance even with perfect timing.

Sweets11

I finally made my DH come in for my appointments with my GP.  If they hear it first hand it helps, plus he gets to be more involved in the process.

magnolia_femme

sroszc:

Sorry   I totally feel your pain and frustration. 

My DH is also starting to question our methods.  He had great SA results and is now thinking maybe we're not doing things right or that there's something wrong with me.  It's really hard to try to convince him that it's really just a waiting game.  My DH can't seem to wrap his head around the 20% chance even with perfect timing.

I know, my DH doesn't get the 20% either.  Ugh.  Hope you can get through to your DH...glad to know I'm not the only one

magnolia_femme

sulfababy:

kerrbear72:

Yes, he is wrong BUT how about giving him ONE cycle doing it his way? Just for the heck of it, ya know? This way you can say you tried doing it his way.

Who knows - maybe he'll get lucky and it will work

I agree with Kerrbear.   What's one cycle?  Or, you can have him talk directly with the doctor, maybe he'll trust it from a doctor's mouth.

I'm thinking about it...but it feels like throwing a cycle away!!  I think I'll just see how it goes as we get closer to O time.  It's just funny how he thinks he knows better than doctors and scientifically proven data.

magnolia_femme

Sweets11:

I finally made my DH come in for my appointments with my GP.  If they hear it first hand it helps, plus he gets to be more involved in the process.

Yeah, I have an appointment in a few months and I think I'll have him come to that.  I'm crossing my fingers that we won't have to go, but it will for sure help him to hear it right from a doctor. 

sroszc

magnolia_femme:

sroszc:

Sorry   I totally feel your pain and frustration. 

My DH is also starting to question our methods.  He had great SA results and is now thinking maybe we're not doing things right or that there's something wrong with me.  It's really hard to try to convince him that it's really just a waiting game.  My DH can't seem to wrap his head around the 20% chance even with perfect timing.

I know, my DH doesn't get the 20% either.  Ugh.  Hope you can get through to your DH...glad to know I'm not the only one

Good luck with your DH.  I did actually get in to my OB for CD3 bloodwork on Friday.  I figure it will just be another test to put our mind at ease (similar to SA) and it will give us a couple more months of trying with some confidence.  I'm also doing acupuncture, green tea/POM mixture, pineapple core, pre-seed and I even bought a Soft Cup for this cycle.  I don't know what else I could possibly do at this point to satisfy my DH 

magnolia_femme

sroszc:

magnolia_femme:

sroszc:

Sorry   I totally feel your pain and frustration. 

My DH is also starting to question our methods.  He had great SA results and is now thinking maybe we're not doing things right or that there's something wrong with me.  It's really hard to try to convince him that it's really just a waiting game.  My DH can't seem to wrap his head around the 20% chance even with perfect timing.

I know, my DH doesn't get the 20% either.  Ugh.  Hope you can get through to your DH...glad to know I'm not the only one

Good luck with your DH.  I did actually get in to my OB for CD3 bloodwork on Friday.  I figure it will just be another test to put our mind at ease (similar to SA) and it will give us a couple more months of trying with some confidence.  I'm also doing acupuncture, green tea/POM mixture, pineapple core, pre-seed and I even bought a Soft Cup for this cycle.  I don't know what else I could possibly do at this point to satisfy my DH 

Ooh GL to you on Friday!  Let us know how it goes?

Emily&Chad

yea, as long as you know when your ovulating have him save up and.. you know the rest -=) Then you can go back to your way.. Good luck on your BW

vilaro

Emily&Chad:

yea, as long as you know when your ovulating have him save up and.. you know the rest -=) Then you can go back to your way.. Good luck on your BW

This is a verry good idea.