Crazy MIL! WWYD?

Christine610

SO my MIL lives out of state and only comes home once a year (sometimes not even that!) so most of time she is ok. She thought she would fly in for my shower for my Hubby's family (she and my hubby's dad are divorced - have been for like 15-20 years). But she is worried that her x's family will be there and she doesn't like them. Her family is really small (she has one brother and 3 nieces/nephews). At first I was blown away that she would fly in for it, but she keeps complaining to my hubby's cousins that one of them should throw a shower with just them. I think she's being silly, you only have to see them for a couple of hours and they're all very nice. GROW UP & be an adult! Ugh I'm so glad she is far away!

SO here's my question, do I ask my hubby's cousin to throw a small shower (it will be like 10 people tops) to make my MIL happy? Or do I let them handle it, and if cousin offers I agree?

gringa78

Let them handle it.  MIL is going to have to deal with whatever the situation is because you can't very well ask someone to throw you a shower (in general for just for that reason).  She's an adult and has to handle her own issues.

robinsokj

No, you don't ask anyone to throw you a shower.  If someone offers, fine.

hopefulmom

I agree with the other pps.  Let your MIL handle it.  If SHE wants to ask your DH's cousin to throw a little shower fine...but you or DH are not to ask the cousin.  MIL...needs to act a bit mature and just go to the one already being thrown.  What's a couple hours compared to years!

bedebum13

Let them handle it - you shouldn't ask anyone to throw you a shower, regardless of the circumstances. 

RoxyLynn

bedebum13:

Let them handle it - you shouldn't ask anyone to throw you a shower, regardless of the circumstances. 

Agreed.  And there will be many future family events for your little one - she might as well get over her issues now.  You don't want to set a precedent of accommodating her, or she'll expect it at every holiday, graduation, religious ceremony, etc.

mysticporter

Definitely stay completely out of it, although it one offers I'd accept it. MIL may have just been venting a little to her niece about having to see her ex's family, if she's still coming it does appear for now she is planning on dealing with it if need be. 

Spacebunny19

Agreed with everyone else.  This lady should not be catered to.  I'd explain to her that she is invited to the shower, that you are not going to have another shower with the cousins, and heck, I would even call the cousin myself and give them the heads up so that MIL doesn't pressure the cousin into it and then feel trapped.  I'd call cousin, warn about MIL's request, let cousin know that MIL can either come to the hubby-family-shower or not, but that you don't need another shower.

Seriously.  MIL needs to either deal with the rest of the family or choose to be excluded.  She can't create new events just because she doesn't want to play nice with everyone else.

Sorry you have to deal with this, and good luck.

BarbieNCSU

I agree with PP's your MIL needs to get over it - especially if they have been divorced for that long!

Tina562

You shouldn't accommodate her, have one shower and have her deal with it. Shes not there for them, its YOUR day! She'll get over it anyways!

zawakenings

gringa78:

Let them handle it.  MIL is going to have to deal with whatever the situation is because you can't very well ask someone to throw you a shower (in general for just for that reason).  She's an adult and has to handle her own issues.

agreed