I feel like such a bad mom, tonight.
Tristan's father isn't in our lives at all. And I have to admit, I would prefer it this way, after the way he treated me when I was pregnant and after finding out about his criminal record.
I just wish I had been smart enough to never sleep with him at all. Obviously I can't really regret it because I wouldn't have my son if I hadn't but....I regret that he was the wrong person. It completely breaks my heart to think that my poor decisions are going to cause my son any pain or confusion. And I can't just make his father a better or more responsible man. I can't fix it and I look at my little boy and think...he deserves so much better than what I've given him. And I just want to break down because I feel like a failure.
I know this is super emo and lame, I just had to get it out. Usually I'm just fine and we're happy but for some reason, I'm feeling really horrible right now.