Have you heard of Formspring.me? — The Bump
Single Parents

Have you heard of Formspring.me?

If you haven't heard of it, it's a site where people can post questions to you anonymously for you to answer. They are sent to you, you can choose to respond and post them or delete them. It can be a lot of fun, sometimes people ask funny questions, and sometimes people want to take the opportunity to insult or criticize you. It comes with the territory of giving anyone the opportunity to post things anonymously. I knew there would be lots of questions about Aubrey and what the "situation" is.

So - someone asked:

"how does it feel to be another statistic contributing to one of americas biggest social problems among young people"

I could have opted not to answer. Part of me thought I shouldn't dignify that kind of a question with a response. But I think a lot of people expect me to be, or want me to be, ashamed of my choice to have Aubrey and keep her.

This was my answer:

Being a single parent is a social problem? Oh - you mean being a young mom. I wouldn't recommend it, because it sure does make things harder. But my other options were not ones I was willing to live with. And I'm not sure I'm actually contributing to that statistic because I don't use government assistance, I start school back up in June, and I support myself (and my daughter)as much as most other college students or people my age. I rely on my parents for help like most 20 year olds because I am not entirely self sufficient. I practiced "safe sex," my birth control failed, I didn't have an abortion because it's not a choice I was willing to make for myself, I have a supportive family so that adoption didn't have to be my go to option, and for that you judge me? I'm not one of these people who glamorize teen pregnancy and I am not proud of the fact that I was a pregnant teen. But I am proud of how I have handled myself and that I am moving forward. Aubrey is thriving. I'm happy. It sounds like you're implying I should feel bad. Well, I don't.

And - to clarify - I don't think being on government assistance is a "problem."  I think if you need it, that is what it is there for. I just wanted to make sure this person wouldn't have the opportunity to come back and say "well my tax dollars are feeding your kid" blah blah blah.

 I thought you this might be something you ladies would be interested in. I've got some ignorant and rude questions (ie Why did you have a baby when things with the baby's dad weren't good in the first place?), but this one takes the cake!

Re: Have you heard of Formspring.me?

  • Wow. That's rough. I'm glad you don't feel bad. Nobody should, and you're doing an amazing job. You're working hard and nobody could reasonably expect more from you than that.

    Pregnant teens don't have any good options. Once you get pregnant, no choice you make is going to be an easy one. You did what was right for you, and you're making sure your daughter has a happy life. It's easy for someone who has never been there to judge. But it doesn't take an idiot to end up pregnant, and in a bad situation. It could happen to anyone.

    Keep your head up, girl. You're doing great.

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