*mhop*

LittleD8081

So, I'm sitting here by myself (DH is gone for the day and Parker is finally napping), and I decided that I have enough courage to watch that video of Campbell at 15 days old.  I can't stop crying.  It's absolutely beautiful.

I want to do something...but, I don't know what.  I want to give a lot of money to someone who can make a difference...but, I don't have it and I don't even know who that difference maker is.  I want to contact Parker's NICU nurses...but, they won't even remember us.  Most of all...I want another baby.  I want Parker to have tons of people around him that love him.  I want to be able to love a full-term baby like I love Parker.  I want to not be afraid anymore.  I want to stop living in fear of the what-if's.  I want to do more than I am capable of doing...for more reasons than I can verbalize.  But, for now I guess I have to settle for walking in my city's MOD walk.  I made a webpage...and even if it's just me and Parker and his daddy marching that day...I want to feel that I've done what I am capable of. 

Wow...I guess I needed to get that out.  I swear this post wasn't meant for that.  I just wanted to tell you that your video was beautiful.  See you on FB in a little over a week...  I hope you're well...

ETA:  I updated my blog tonight.  If you're interested, take a look (link in siggy).  I wish I was good at making videos...but, for now I'll have to stick with preserving my memories with Parker in an occasional blog post. 

mhop

I loved your blog post...it actually reminds me of me b/c I also have a TERRIBLE memory.  It makes me want to write more on our blog, we just do lots of pictures with the occasional video. 

I'm glad you liked our video, I really just needed to document that one moment in time.  I didn't realize how emotional it would be for me and other preemie moms to watch...but I cry every time.  

In other news, we had a growth u/s of Maggie on Friday and she's looking great!  She's up to 3 lbs, 11 oz and still measuring ahead.  I did wake up Thursday feeling "puffy" so I took my bp with my home monitor for the 1st time since being pregnant with Campbell and it was 119/86.  I hoped the bottom # was a fluke but on Friday it was 122/86 at the dr.  We're hoping it's not the beginning of rising bp...