Oh great. Help!

MrsBatty

MIL makes DD cry.  Instantly.  DD does not even cry around complete strangers ... just MIL.

MIL called and wants to come over to take DD "off my hands" for a day either later this week or next.  She would be driving in from out of town.

I am not comfortable leaving DD with her at this point.

Now what?  It's not like I can just say "No, sorry."

You know? 

Helms

dude, i wish my mil would want to "take her off my hands"...is  there a back story?

Ana Ramey

Just say that you would rather DD stay in. Blame it on allergies, or changing in weather causing sickness.?

Let her know that it would be such a great help if she could just watch her at the house while you take care of some chores. ?

nicolesspirit

Does she smother her to much is that why? If she does maybe you can tell her that she is really particular about noise or being touched too much so she backs off a little ( I'm blindly guessing though).

 I know my little guy hates when people get in his face. I really don't know what to tell you because its your MIL you kinda have to let her have her time but it dosen't mean it wont suck! Good luck!

MrsBatty

Helms:

dude, i wish my mil would want to "take her off my hands"...is  there a back story?

not really ... just that mil is big, loud, scary, and pushy ... 

saraprice

anaramey:

Just say that you would rather DD stay in. Blame it on allergies, or changing in weather causing sickness. 

Let her know that it would be such a great help if she could just watch her at the house while you take care of some chores.  

This, and who knows, maybe with her being around your MIL she might get better.  Kate always cries with my FIL, last weekend we were out at their house and when he held her she cried at first, so I took her and showed her he was ok.  By the end of the visit she was fine with him.  I know it is not always that simple, but maybe?

fairychick77

Can you just say..."Thanks for the offer, but why don't we all just hang out together when you're here?" Or is she too pushy and wil insist on you going out and doing something on your own?

kristajayerobs

Ummm... I have the SAME problem, except with my FIL!!  I'm interested to see the comments because I have a panic attack whenever he wants to hold him because I know what an awful experience it will be!!  However, maybe spending some extended time with your MIL will make your daughter get used to her a little more??  We've been trying to expose DS to my FIL as much as possible in hopes that he'll get used to him.

AMYfromKY

Could you let her "take her off your hands" while you get some chores done around the house?  That way she can visit and you can be there in case DD needs you.

mellp9

I totally understand. My MIL lives 2 hours away and wanted to pick up DS on a Saturday and bring him back on Sunday. I said absolutely not. DS has no problems being around MIL, but I'm still not comfortable with him being 2 hours away. What makes it worse is that DH sees no problem with it and thinks I need to let go a little. I compromised and took DS up there and spent the night.

I felt like either way I was screwed.

 GL!!

MrsBatty

fairychick77:

Can you just say..."Thanks for the offer, but why don't we all just hang out together when you're here?" Or is she too pushy and wil insist on you going out and doing something on your own?

That's what I was thinking.  She is super pushy, so we'll see. 

Helms

MrsBatty:

fairychick77:

Can you just say..."Thanks for the offer, but why don't we all just hang out together when you're here?" Or is she too pushy and wil insist on you going out and doing something on your own?

That's what I was thinking.  She is super pushy, so we'll see. 

i'm really bad at MIL stuff.  i have no problem telling anybody the way i feel except for her.  i'm too scared to speak up.  ex: EVERY time she watches S, i find her sleeping in her crib with a blanket on or if she's not in her crib the blanket evidence is in there.  i know that she checks on her and i'm not worried about her smothering herself on MIL's watch but the point is that we don't use blankets.  and i've told her that numerous times.  ok. vent over.  sorry to pirate your post!

MrsBatty

Thanks for the help ladies.  E just got up ... I'll be back a little later to read these more carefully.  

Cityplanner

Is it possibly just because DD is not familiar with her?  All four of my DD's grandparents live far away and DD is always weird when they first hold her.  But, if I hold her for a bit and let her watch them, they warm up pretty quickly.  Is there another reason you are not comfortable with MIL watching her?   If not, I'd take your MIL up on the offer and let the two of them work it out.