not pg w #2 yet but wondering about finances

anneannabell

Hey girls,

I just wanted to first off say Hi  
I also have a question about how you manage financially with 2.

When i was TTC #1 we had many problems, after over two years and 3 iui's we finally got pg through IVF.  I KNEW we were ready for a baby and i KNEW financially we could do it.  and we did with very little sacrifice.  After we had our first i wanted another right away, my friends thought i was nuts but my husband really wasn't ready so i talked myself into it being okay to just have one.  Well... DH has not changed his mind and now i am nervious all over again.  Daycare for 2 is going to be a lot.  The other issue is we only have 2 bedrooms.  Mind you our rooms are really big, DS's room has a crib and a full size bed in his room but the idea of him sharing a room with a baby makes me feel kinda guilty.  With our son we had him cry it out after he was 6 months... well, if we do that with baby while son is in the room with them, my son wont get any sleep either.  I guess what i am getting at is were you 100% confident about your finances before TTC #2, or did you just leave it up to fate?

I know this is such an open ended question but i am just such a planner and hope someone here can give me some advice

 

thanks
 

lep712

#2 isn't actually here yet, but what we did as soon as we started trying was putting the money aside we would need for the first couple of years (daycare, diapers, wipes, clothes) and take the money out of each paycheck and put it into a savings account.  At first, it was a little tight, but now it's just like an automatic withdrawal from my paycheck and has reassured us that life will still be manageable.  I also get a raise in September (teacher going up to Masters plus 30), which should make things even better.

HappyTXChick

Yes, we were 100% confident about finances before having #2.

I am a huge planner.  I would not get married until I had a college degree (actually 2), and would not have kids until debt was paid off, we had a large enough home, and I was finanacially 'able' to SAH, if I wanted (I choose to work, however).  THats just the way I am. 
Now, don't get me wrong, at any point DH could lose his job, one of use get huge medical bills, etc and things could do a complete turnaround.  We do have quite a bit in savings, have healthy college funds started for each child and I would hate to wipe those out but I am not naive to the fact that "life happens". 

But I would not have had a child, or 2 children, if when we put pen to paper the numbers did not work out.  Childcare is expensive.... diapers, formula, our grocery bill...everything is expensive with children.  I also know that money problems can put a huge strain on a relationship, children can also test a relationship so going into it knowing  that we're "leaving it up to fate" is just too scary for me!  DH and I are best friends and we don't want that to change.

So thats just the way I am.  I'm not saying my way is right and others is wrong, and being an over-planner is sometimes a big downfall of mine, but thats just the way I am. 

HarrietNJMommy

We're in a different financial situation. We haven't had to change our lifestyle, and we have 3 kids. The only thing we don't do as much is eat out, but that's not such a big deal right now with 3 small kids.

If you're going to struggle just a little for a couple of years, but can make cutbacks to do so, then you should be fine.

I think that if you're struggling right now with 1 child, then it's not going to be any easier with 2. As kids get older, then cost more money. Vacations, etc. are more. Eating is more, etc.

GL!

CaitlinJ22

HarrietNJMommy:

We're in a different financial situation. We haven't had to change our lifestyle, and we have 3 kids. The only thing we don't do as much is eat out, but that's not such a big deal right now with 3 small kids.

If you're going to struggle just a little for a couple of years, but can make cutbacks to do so, then you should be fine.

I think that if you're struggling right now with 1 child, then it's not going to be any easier with 2. As kids get older, then cost more money. Vacations, etc. are more. Eating is more, etc.

GL!

I agree. We are in the same boat really. Our situation hasnt really changed. we lived off one income before ds and so it wasnt hard to adjust. I BF for 13 months so that saved a lot of money. WE go out less, but still go out with ds and have dinner a few times a wk. 

DH works at a great job, yet it takes him away from us for 3 wks at a time. Its very hard, but worth it for now. We have bought a house, adding a fence, buying a new car--though we have paid off teh old one recently.

We have money aside, and have paid off many debts in teh past few yrs. The expenses regarding DS were more baby gear--many were gifts--and diapers--though we CD half the time, and gymboree, children museum passes. I SAH so no daycare expenses.  

I agree with Hariett, if you are strugling now, I think it will not get better.

GL 

Nicole731

DD was a surprise so we didn't plan finances to accomodate her. But going from no kids to one kid was way more expensive than going from one to two. We used everything of DS's for DD like travel system, swing, pack n play, etc. So that saved us money. We are buying clothes a little at a time and buying diapers with coupons and sales. The biggest expense will be daycare, which we will be starting in about a month. That will be an extra 500 a month or so, but it luckily will be do-able.

HarrietNJMommy

Nicole731:

DD was a surprise so we didn't plan finances to accomodate her. But going from no kids to one kid was way more expensive than going from one to two. We used everything of DS's for DD like travel system, swing, pack n play, etc. So that saved us money. We are buying clothes a little at a time and buying diapers with coupons and sales. The biggest expense will be daycare, which we will be starting in about a month. That will be an extra 500 a month or so, but it luckily will be do-able.

The expenses in the beginning are NOT that great. Kids get MORE expensive as they get older. I think this is what most people don't understand and it's where they get in trouble later on. It's not the clothes, the gear and the diapers that cost money as your kids get older..........that's the least expensive part.......

Also, there IS a difference between "want" and "need". We don't "need" to go on vacation a couple of times a year - we "want" to. Some people don't want to give a lot of that up.

What I CAN tell you is that I would NOT be happy (neither would DH) if we couldn't maintain our current lifestyle. We want to travel with the kids and tickets for an extra child or two, etc. cost much more...... We want to be able to pay for lessons of some sort, sports, outings, etc. I couldn't be the type of family that was always looking for "free" stuff to do because we're on a specific budget.

If we weren't in the financial situation we were in, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have had this many children.

anneannabell

thanks for the responses.  and please dont get me wrong.  I am a HUGE planner too and on paper daycare and everything can work and again we didn't really have to make any adjustments to afford #1.  I guess #2 would just be tighter