Stressing over typical first time mom worries..

AshSchultz

I am a first time mom in 6 weeks.. and I have the typical concerns that I thought I would never have....I am trying really hard not to worry about things that I obviously cannot control..

I am so worried about SIDS.. I mean, I feel like I'm never ever going to sleep because I'm going to constantly be checking on baby or looking at video monitor to see if he's breathing in the beginning... I am seriously stressing to the MAX over it. I have had so many people tell me that their children didn't sleep on their back, so they just went against Doctor's advice and put them on the tummies where they slept like champs. I don't know what I should do.. Obivously I have 6 more weeks-- he's not even here yet... I know that babies are different and you adapt to your own baby.. but in general thoughts, I am freaking myself out. =(

 Also-- Question... the carseat thing.. where is the safest location for an infant seat? I have heard several different suggestions. Some say I shouldn't put him behind the passenger seat b/c in an accident from the side-- it would have no give room.. Then others say putting him in the middle isn't good because a.) you can't reach/see him good...and b.) There's no support from a seat in the front if there were to be impact from behind. Most people I know have their child on the passenger side backseat... What about all of you? What is the safest, "correct" place for a carseat??

Another question-- I don't want my baby to get comfortable sleeping in mommy and daddy's room.. I have heard way too many horror stories that I don't want to ever experience.. with that being said, should I start him out in his own crib in his room from the beginning or put him in mine first few weeks then transfer to his room???

I'm being a drama queen.. I know.. =/ Thanks to all!!!!!

myrall

With the SIDS stuff, pay attention to YOUR gut. Do only what YOU'RE comfy with. Don't listen to everyone else. Your doctor is a great source of information too.

With our infant seat, we put her behind the passenger seat. I have a small car, so we had to slide the seat up some, but it was no biggie. I just rode in the back with her if DH and I needed to go together. 

As far as where does baby sleep, again, it's what you're comfortable with. Geneva slept in our room for the first four months and then we transitioned her into her crib. It's totally up to you and your baby. It kinda sucks, but you'll have to figure out most of it on the fly when baby gets here! 

Good luck!

AshSchultz

Ahh!! HOW did I know you would be one of the first to reply! Thanks for the quick reply!! I'll definitely go with my gut, obviously that's out of my control....

Infant seat-- yes, I drive a honda civic.. think I'll be putting him behind passenger seat as well... I've always felt that way, but wanted to be sure it was the "right" thing to do...

Baby sleeping--- I'll have to wait until he gets here to see what kind of sleeper he is and what is best for me, I guess.

THANK YOU MYRALL!!!!!!!! )

Daisy22

First off, breathe!!!!! It's going to be okay. The unknown is scary and we all know that. And a lot of things you will have to find out what works for yall. There are so many different views of parenting and you just have to find what for works for your family. What works for me might not work for yall.

1 - I did worry at first but we got an angel care monitor that I loved. It monitored him and made me feel better especially at night. I also realized that I need sleep and not to waste what little time I had with him as a little infants. They grow so fast and if you worry every second then you miss out on the little joys of the things going on around you. For us, Bailey was a stomach sleeper but that was our choice.

2 - We had Bailey's infant seat behind the passenger seat. When we put the Britax in at 8wks (he hated the infant seat) we had it in the middle then we moved it to the outside. The state patrol man that taught me how to install the Britax said that really it doesn't matter which area you put the child seat in. That the seats are made for to withstand accidents. I highly recommend if you haven't going to somewhere to get it checked. I drove from midtown up to the Cobb County Safe Kids Village. They have a carseat safety inspection station that is opened 3 days out of the week.

3 - Bailey was in his crib from day 1 at home. Dh and I both decided this was the best for all of us especially since I'm such a light sleeper. Since I had a c-section and we live in a 2 story house, Bailey took naps in his PNP in our dining room for the first 6 weeks then we started doing naps in his crib. He sleeps so much better in his room then anywhere else. Oh and I highly recommend a nosie machine. I love our white noise machine and it keeps Bailey was hearing everything going on around us. It works well on vacation too.

ebearwife

SIDS - On one hand you will worry no matter what.  But if you don't get your sleep then you are at risk for post partum depression, etc and you can't take care of your baby if you are a zombie.  Do what works for you.  As time goes on you will relax.  They are saying now that babies that die of SIDS are actually suffering from sleep apnea, so when you are awake and your baby is sleeping pay attention to their breathing.  Is it regular and easy or labored and irregular, do they startle themselves, etc?  Discuss concerns immediately with your dr.  Keep anything besides a light blanket out of the crib and if you don't swaddle, don't even bother with a blanket at all.  We didn't even really use the bumpers.  Just a crib sheet and that ultimate crib sheet on top, secured to the rails.  Dress the baby in appropriate pajamas for the temperature of your house.  Light fabric in the warm months, heavier in the cold in snug pajamas.  Then you won't have a need for blankets, etc.  After about 6 months the risk of SIDS diminishes significantly so if you want you can add blankets then, I think.  You may not want this habit but they are also saying Pacifiers reduce the risk of SIDS.  May want to try that too, but then you will have to break the habit eventually.

Sleeping arrangements - This depends on you.  I had a C-section and it was too hard to get out of bed so P slept with us.  We stopped that around 6 weeks and put her in the cradle next to our bed.  Then at 10 weeks she was making too much noise so we moved her to her bed and she has been there ever since.  She has NO interest in sleeping with us at all now.  That was easy.  We moved on as soon as I was able so maybe that was the key.  We still miss her sometimes for snuggling, but we get sleep, she gets sleep and it works better if she is not in our bed.

MrsKLB

You're going to do great!  Just breathe.  Think of all of the gazillions of babies that have been born into this world to people who are less intelligent, less prepared, and/or less involved than you!  You can do it!

I hate that new mothers are being scared out of their minds about SIDS.  I understand the campaign to educate people about the risks, but really, stop freaking out all of these expectant parents already!  Anyway, you really do just have to go with your gut and what you think will work for you and your baby.  I honestly thought I would freak out about this a lot, but I did not.  We put Brady to sleep on his back and so I did not worry.  Then when he could roll over on his own I assumed that if he was strong enough to do that then he had enough head control not to get suffocated by the mattress or bumper.  That's just me, though.  It worked for us.

We have our carseat behind the passenger seat.  Get a good carseat and he will be safe anywhere in the back seat.  Don't spend too much time stressing over this.

We had Brady in a co-sleeper in our bedroom for 6 weeks.  When he started sleeping longer between feedings we moved him into his crib in his own room with absolutely no problems.

Good luck!  You're going to do great! 

EmmaMom

I have worried about everything you have!  I think it's normal!  One of the few things that kept me sane was my faith.  I used all the knowledge I could based on what doctors and professionals tell us, but after that, I had to trust that God had my girl in his care.  I was worrying so much that I was missing out on the little things, until I turned it over to Him.  Of course I still worry, and my daughter is well past the SIDS age, but I have to remind myself to trust God.  I hope this didn't offend you, it's just what works for me. 

 I've often worried about the carseat thing, too.  I have her in the middle but when we have our second child, they will both have to be on the sides.  I think the previous poster was right, they make car seats to withstand impact so I would imagine they are safe in either spot.

 We kept Emma in our room until she was 3 weeks old.  We got a video monitor and I was finally able to sleep - newborns are noisy sleepers with their little grunts and groans.  She was right down the hall from us but I think we all slept better after the move. 

 Good luck - you're going to do just fine!! 

Mrs.Guz

1- Go with your GUT! Don't listen to horror stories, it will just stir up the fear.

2- Ours was on the passenger side. Read your car's owner's manual, and it should tell you where the best place is in your car.

3- Its up to you. Each baby is different. Abigail slept in our room until she was 5 months old...when she grew out of the cradle. She transitioned well. So you need to do what YOU feel comfortable with. And don't listen to other's opinions.

Everything will come to you. We've all had those "first-time mommy anxieties. You'll be fine. Good luck!

A&JNelson

1- Go with your GUT! It is so true. They really don't even know what causes SIDS, just a bunch of theories.  So do what you feel is best for the baby.

2- Ours was behind the passenger seat

3- Its up to you and you need to do what YOU feel comfortable with. Noah was in our room for the first 3 months, and then he transitioned to the the crib just fine. I was more at peace at night with him in our room, and with the frequent feedings I found it easier. It was a breath of fresh air though when we had our room to ourselves.

AshSchultz

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO RESPONDED!!!! This has helped me calm down a bit... I'm sure I will still worry about the SIDS-- but like you all have said.. there is no 100% cause of it anyhow.

Thanks for all the advice on the carseat and sleeping arrangements. I think I have decided to put the carseat behind the passenger seat... and as far as sleeping arrangements go-- I'll decide that when muchkin gets here!!! Thanks again..

 

AshSchultz

I have worried about everything you have!  I think it's normal!  One of the few things that kept me sane was my faith.  I used all the knowledge I could based on what doctors and professionals tell us, but after that, I had to trust that God had my girl in his care.  I was worrying so much that I was missing out on the little things, until I turned it over to Him.  Of course I still worry, and my daughter is well past the SIDS age, but I have to remind myself to trust God.  I hope this didn't offend you, it's just what works for me.  . 

 

Great Advice.. and by no means did this offend me one bit! Thank you!

smittendorff

As far as worrying about SIDS, the best you can do it to follow all of the safe sleep guidelines, like no loose blankets or bumpers, sleep on his back, and keeping the room at a comfortable temp (here's a list of other tips: https://www.halosleep.com/keep_your_baby_safe/safe_sleep_tips/ ).  And I have heard that the reason babies tend to sleep better on their tummy is because they get into a deeper sleep, which then puts them at a higher risk for SIDS. 

The carseat - my friend does the car seat safety workshops and has said that the safest place for the carseat is in the middle of the backseat.  

We have the bassinet in our room right now.  With my first DS, we did the same and he transitioned to his crib just fine.  In both beds, he slept on his own, so the transition was just fine.