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Denver's LONG Birth Story! Med-Free attempt..and fail!
Birth story: It had been a been a very busy Saturday (2/20). I
can't remember if Friday night 2/19 I was able to sleep well or not. I
do know we got up at a fairly normal time Saturday morning and had
breakfast. We had errands to run and then we went to
lunch. I ordered eggplant because I knew that it was an Old Wives Tail
(OWT) to induce labor-laugh out loud. I had been taking evening
primrose oil and drinking raspberry tea as well. In the afternoon we
came home and relaxed. We also had our Bradley Dinner that evening at 6
pm. It was nice to hear other people's birth stories and DH and I
had joked it would be good to go into labor that night. Little did we
know...
We got home around 8:30 pm or so and watched the
Olympics. I had inserted evening primrose oil that night. I headed to
the upstairs couch around 11:30 pm and fell asleep until 12:30 am. I
remember getting up to go to the bathroom at 12:30 and then coming back
to the couch. As I laid down I felt something gush. It wasn't a pop as
I had expected but more just warmth and fluid. I got up again and went
to the bathroom. Sure enough it was water-like. I smelled it just to
make sure I hadn't peed myself. It had an ammonia smell to it and was
clear. Luckily because I had the evening primrose oil I had a pad on. I
went upstairs to tell DH my water had broken and to stay in bed
because I knew he would need his energy. I also posted on my mommy
board that I thought my water had broken and called o to let our Doulaher
know what was going on. I knew from my Bradley class and Doula that I
should lay down and sleep-but wow was my adrenaline up! I did go down
to the couch and try to relax. Contractions started around 1:15 am or
so. They were erratic. At the time I guessed they were anywhere from
10-20 minutes apart. They were easy to breathe through but kept me
awake. I think I fell asleep around 4 am and slept fitfully on the
couch until 7:00 am or so. Then I went up to the bedroom and laid next
to DH until 8:15 or so. I remember curling up next to DH and
having LO (Denver/Denny) kick so hard that DH could feel it in his back. Denny
was really moving. My contractions became more timeable after we got up
and had breakfast. I also called Connie (the MW on call) and told her
what was going on. She said to NOT get in the bathtub (but that I could
shower) as it could slow things down. She said to call her when
contractions were more intense and timeable and to try to take a walk
or keep doing what I was doing. We pretty much laid around the house
and tried to relax although we were really excited and wanted things to
move along! I tried bouncing on the ball and taking a walk before lunch
around the block. I remember that it was difficult to walk around the
block and needed to stop every 10-12 min. to breathe through a
contraction. We ate a light lunch -or at least I tried to-and then we
tried to settle down to watch a movie. We only made it 3/4 of the way
through before my contractions were about 5 min apart (I think) lasting
for a min. and for over an hour. It was about 2 pm ?? when I got some
bloody show. Although at the time I wasn't aware that it would be like
having my period-I thought I would just get a smidge of blood. So I was
a little unprepared for the amount (about a pad full over an hour or
so). I jumped into the shower as the contractions were becoming more
powerful-and I was continuously bleeding which honestly made me and
DHnervous. When I got out of the shower we decided to call both Doula (so she could come over) and Connie (the MW). My contractions
(unbeknownst to me) were about 1-2 min apart and over a min. long for
over an hour at that point. DH had been timing them. Connie hearing
about both the bleeding and me moaning on the phone told us she would
meet us at the hospital. I felt that DH was getting anxious as the
contractions were so close-although I was managing them by moaning and
on all fours I was getting nervous about how long my water had been
broken. That time table had been in the back of my mind all day---that
(arbitrary 24 hours) was making me nervous and I was just generally
feeling anxious that it was really happening. So when Doula got to
our house around 3:30 pm ?? we were in a rush to get to the hospital. I
was anxious to get checked imagining I was closer than I would end up
being, I sensed Dh's anxiety as well. So we headed to the hospital.
I crouched on all fours in the backseat and moaned through the
contrations as we drove. it wasnt a fun ride and I didn't want to
repeat it. I know that my contractions slowed down when we got to the
hospital-as I felt better and more alert. I remember also hoping that
I was at least a 4 when we got there. Connie checked me and I was at a
1! I remember being very disappointed but hoping that I would make some
drastic progress in the next few hours. Connie did suggest that I get a
Hep-lock just in case I needed fluids. I agreed to it as long as I
could have it in my arm and not my hand. They were able to accomodate
this. I also was put on the EFM for about 20 min. It was a portable one
though so I could sit in the rocking chair or move with it which was
great. DH and I took a walk around the hospital and Melinda got
settled in the room. Then DH decided to go get some food for him
and Doula. I also had my gatoraid and continued to drink. When DH
got back with the food something changed for me and the contractions
started again. At this point I remember being the most comfortable on
my knees hanging on the back of the bed and moaning. I have no idea how
far apart they were at this point but I do know that I could still talk
in between and eat/drink in between. I continued to work through the
contractions. Here is where my memory gets a little fuzzy. I know that
I was trying to keep my visualizations in my head and to go inside of
myself when I was working through a contraction. I kept trying to
visualize my cervix getting wider and also thinking about Denver. I
seemed to be in a rhythm when I got a break between contractions. I
remember splitting my time between the ball and kneeling on the bed. I
know at some point Connie told me that I needed to move him down and to
sway and dance him down by swaying next to the bed. At this point I
think I was a 2. I have no idea what time it was at this point. I also
know that my contractions were moving along. It hurt to sit on the ball
or a chair but I was able to work through that and bounce on the ball
at one point. I dont know if Connie checked me again or if the constant
pain started. I remember that the contractions were manageable but that
I was feeling this really low cramp that was continuous. It was like an
extension of the contraction but unrelenting. It was unbearable at the
time. I felt like I couldn't get a break from the pain. I remember
thinking that if I could only get a break from the pain every few min.
I knew I could continue on. However in my mind the break never came. I
know that my contractions themselves were really very long (5 min. in
duration). I am unsure if this is the time that Connie offered the
Nubain or not. I know I was asking for help. When I look back I wonder
if the tub would have helped, but I was in so much pain that I couldnt
think straight and I was exhausted. I think it was after 12 am at this
time-although I could be wrong. I do know that the only thing I wanted
was to sleep. So although it was a tough decision for me and I was
worried that it would only lead to more interventions I decided I
needed the break. The Nubain did numb me to an extent and I think I
rested fitfully for an hour or so. However as soon as the Nubain
started to wear off the pain-not the contractions per se but that damn
cramp- came back fresh and strong. I also started to throw up. I remember thinking maybe this was transition...(it wasnt) It was about this time that I really
began to forget my plans and resolve and strength. To me the pain was
unrelenting and overwhelming. I couldn't find a rhythm with the
contractions as I couldnt get a break at all. It felt like the
contraction never ended. I never felt the wave of pain I had felt
earlier it was all constant pain. I also think that if I hadn't been so
tired I might have been able to gather some strength. However all I
felt was overwhelmed and unable to carry on. I also felt like I wasnt
making any progress and I was going to be in labor forever. I think it
was about 3 am that Connie asked me if I would consider an epidural. I
think she mentioned that she didnt think I would have the energy to
push if I continued on this way. Again I felt some disappointment mixed
with relief that maybe I would get to sleep. At this point I just
wanted it to be over. I talked it over with DH briefly I think and
we decided it was best for me to get the epidural. So in came the
anesthesiologist and DHand Doula had to leave the room. I know
that I asked Connie to hold my hands but honestly the cramp-not the
contractions was so unbearable I never even felt the needle. I dont
think I even moved-just hung on Connie. As soon as the meds kicked in I
was able to sleep fitfully for a few hours. I think it was 5 am that
woke up with another pain that was just as intense as the first. It was
in the area that my catheter was in. The doctor came back in and topped
off my meds but it didnt seem to help. Soon both of my legs became
mobile and the pain in the catheter area became worse. I was starting
to feel the contractions again as well. Soon it didn't feel like I had
had the epidural at all. When the doctor came back in he just stated (I
think) that the meds just didnt really work for me and I had to just
deal. (This is my version...I am sure he was nicer). However it was
clear to me that the only thing I got out of the epidural was a few
hours of fitful sleep. In addition I started to throw up again-this time it was blood which freaked me out but they assured me could be normal. I had been eating ice chips consistently thanks to Doula. Connie had been on all weekend so there was a
shift change between her and Barb (Midwife). My nurse, Sarah, was
done as well and we got a new nurse, Alisha. I can't say enough about
the nurses and midwives we worked with. When Barb came in she checked
me and I was an 8--I think. Or maybe a 9. All I remember is that Connie
and her had a discussion about how Connie was a conservative estimator
on dilation and stations. Weird that I remember that. I know that since
my legs were moveable they were moving me into several different
positions in order to get Denver to move more into position. Still the
pain near the catheter area was intense. I am unsure if they gave me a
new one or took it out. I know that by the time I got to start pushing
at 8 am it was out. Once I felt the urge to push, my body really took
over. It felt like at first I couldn't differentiate when the
contractions were starting and ending and I was expelling a lot of
energy pushing needlessly. However, the pushing part was actually the
best part of the labor/delivery for me as it was when I really got into
a groove. It felt endless, but productive. Whenever, DH or the
nurse or DH would tell me that I was making progress or that they
could start to see his head I would say they were lying. I felt that
everyone was lying to me and that it was lasting forever. I remember at
one point that Barb (MW) had stepped out for another delivery and that
the nurse and DHwere saying how close I was. I told them that they
were lying and that if I were close that Barb would be in the room. I
told them that since no one was there to catch the baby I wasn't close!
Its funny now but I was dead serious. While pushing it was never the
pain that kept me from making progress-it was always that I couldnt
hold my breath long enough to push. The contractions became such that I
would have one really good contractions where I would push, then a
sweet relief of a break-then 2 or 3 good contractions where I would
push again. This was my rhythm and when I look back at this part of the
labor/delivery-I wish that it could have all been like this. Those few
moments in between contractions were so relaxing and Doula was
feeding me ice chips, having me smell some lemon extract and back I
would go to the pushing. I also felt better with the oxygen mask taking
breaths in between that first push and the next few. I slightly
remember Barb and Alisha having me touch Denny's head when he started
to crown. Although I think my memory is colored more by how DH
talks about it now. He said that when I would touch Denny's head that
my face would become so peaceful and happy that it was making him start
to cry. I do remember what Denny's head felt like-soft and warm. I know
that there was a ring of fire--but my exhaustion and sheer want of the
process to be done-made the pain secondary. I know that several times I
asked for Barb to cut him out of me. At the time was I working through
the pain? Or was it because I was so exhausted. I want to think it was
because of the exhaustion. Looking back now I cant remember the pain
itself which is a blessed thing-I know it hurt to have him move through
and out-but I think I was in a place that just wanted it all to be
over. Part of me knew that he was crowning for too log (40 min. total!)
and either Barb offered a small episitomy or I asked. I could tell she
was hesitant and I remember DH supporting me to try to push two
more times. I am unsure how long Barb had worked at stretching me with
olive oil-it felt like hours-but it may have been only an hour.
Honestly her stretching me felt more painful then Denver coming
through. Although I was thankful, very thankful, for how hard she
worked when we were done. Eventually, Barb did make a very small one
degree snip to get Denny through. Once she made the snip he slipped
right out. In that moment -I cant describe what it felt like to have
him come into the world through me. I felt every one of his bones shift
through me and I remember Barb telling me to pant and just breathe-not
to push. Simultaneously I closed my eyes and then opened them. The next
thing I remember is DH actually placing this really heavy purple,
warm little body onto my stomach. Denny had arrived. We were all
rubbing him and talking to him and it was the most important and
happiest moment of my life. Suddenly 35 hours of labor no longer
mattered. DH was able to cut the chord after it stopped pulsing. I
know I had been receiving a small amount of pitocin-or they started to
give it to me so I would deliver the placenta-I am unsure at this point
what the progression of the pitocin was. I know that I was still having
minor contractions and that Barb was working on pushing on my cervix to
get the placenta out. I was absorbed in Denny on me and having DH
at my side. Denny was very alert and he latched on right away. When the
placenta came out it felt warm and I immediately felt relief that it
was out. However, as soon as I felt the placenta come out I felt a
large wave of warmth leave me. I also started to feel woozy and faint
and I heard Barb tell the nurse to call for the hemmorage kit. More so
than anything events started to feel surreal. They immediately pulled
Denny from me and put him in the warmer. I asked DH to go with him
and to keep talking to him. Barb was telling me to stay awake-I think
-and Doula was at my side. Another nurse came in with what I assumed
was the hemmorage kit and I think Barb told me she was sorry but she
had to give me some cytotek (spelling?) rectally. I am assuming the
bleeding slowed and I never fainted. I found out later I had lost 600 cc's of blood in that one moment-at 700cc they begin to worry about cardiac arrest. Funny enough I did not feel more
tired than I had before as I was completely on a high from Denver's
arrival. Once they had the bleeding stopped, Barb sat next to me and I
got Denver back. We were able to continue nursing lying side by side.
She started to explain that his head was big (haha) although it was in the normal range- and that he
did not have any difficulties with his shoulders and that I shouldnt
have any difficulties with future kids. She wanted to assure me about him not having shoulder distotia? (Spelling) I told her not to talk about
future kids at that point-laugh out loud. The nursing staff were able
to do all of Denny's stuff (eye drops, heel stick, etc ) while he was
with me. He weighed a whopping 9.5 lbs and was 22 inches long. Such a
big baby. The staff were all astounded that I had such a big baby! Once
we were all settled, the nurse did say that Denny had a lower sugar
level (41). Which was just below expected so they wanted to supplement
with some formula. Which DH gave him through finger feeding him.
WIth support I was able to hobble to the bathroom-which was scary for
me. Although I wanted to go to the bathroom (urinate). I was unable to
actually pee. I also desperately wanted a shower but would have to
wait. DH left shortly after feeding Denny-or was it before? to get
pizza for us. We all ate and relaxed. I was amazed at how misshapen
Denny's head was and at how much I loved him. Once we were wheeled to
our room for the night I was disappointed we would have to share a room
with another patient and that I still couldn't urinate. So I had to
tell the nurse around 7 pm that I probably needed a catheter. She did a
great job giving me one and I barely felt it. I would have the catheter
removed the next morning when I could finally urinate on my own. Ice
packs were a godsend as was the shower I eventually got. I have never
been so weak in all my life. A weakness that didn't leave me for about
2 weeks. I think that my recovery has been more difficult
in that the hemmoraging definitely compromised my enjoyment of coming
home. Breastfeeding started out great and I was very happy to leave the
hospital. I also turned down a blood transfusion as I wanted to come
home after the mandatory 48 hours there.
Today-Denver continues to grow. He is over 10 lbs
now. Breastfeeding has had its challenges and we are working through
Denny being a gulper and fast eater . He tends to cough and choke when
he really gets going. At times he does better when we can lay down
together to eat-but we are working through this. He spent the first
week with jaundice and with me being an unsure mother. We had a one
week ER visit due to the jaundice and my anxiety. I underestimated how
emotional I would be. Once home from the hospital the high from giving
birth had receded and the hormones set in. He was evaluated by the ER
docs ( a horrendous experience with blood draws) and the jaundice has
slowly gone away. I find myself slowly becoming more comfortable with
being a mom with the typical worries and anxieties. I hate to leave
him even to nap - although I have made sure to sleep when he sleeps. I revel in every moment spent with
him. DH has proven himself to be an amazing dad and continues to be
an amazing husband.
If there were anything that I would say I did
absolutely according to my "birth plan" it was that I was educated as
well as I could be; I made the best decision I could in the moment; and
I felt very supported by DH, Doula, and the midwives. I would NOT
have been able to do what I did without the support of a doula and the
medical staff I had. I am so thankful I did not end up with a
C-section and that I was able to give birth to such an amazing little
boy.
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Re: Denver's LONG Birth Story! Med-Free attempt..and fail!
What a great story, it sounds like you were a trooper! Congratulations on your bundle of joy