Relatives Who Smoke????

bump54321

So, Baby Sam is doing great, and it looks like he may get to come home soon.  When he does, I know everyone will want to come see him, including my biological mother (my step-mother raised me and that's who I refer to as my "mom") who smokes heavily and reeks of cigarette smoke.  I really don't want her to come over to my house and hold my baby while smelling so heavily of smoke.  But, how do I gently tell her that I don't want my precious preemie baby being exposed to so much 3rd hand smoke?  Or am I overreacting?  

Bippy798

My mother and father both smoke. I let them hold Aiden as long as they wash hands first just like everyone else. They never seem to reek of smoke though like some people do. Believe me I have clients at the office whose smoke smell makes me want to gag and I am an ex smoker myself. I can't imagine not letting them hold him because they are smokers, although if they reeked it might be a different story. Sorry I am sure that little ramble was no help at all.

FutureMrsDenman

The doctors at our NICU told me that smokers should have the following restrictions (we didn't stick to them exactly, but that is what they wanted us to do):

1.  Shower after smoking before touching the baby (so hair isn't holding the smoke) ... at the very very least wash hands before touching th baby.

2.  Change clothes or drape a blanket over their clothes before holding the baby.

3.  Leave purses and other items out of the house when they come in.

4.  Not smoke in the car on the way over.

I think that is is. 

DH's Mom smokes.  She did not follow our rules and didn't think any of it was necessary.  We did the best we could at getting her to follow as many of them as possible, but she was fairly stubborn about it.  And we didn't want to completely keep her from DD>  She opted just not to come see DD at all most of the time.  Very sad.

Background:  While in the NICU DD had a NICU neighbor in the next isolette down who had a visitor who smoked.  He came in one day with a jacket on and clothes that REEKED of smoke.  As soon as he walked by her isolette and stood next to the baby he was visiting, DD's sats crashed.  She had a horrible episode needing stimulation to recover.  They thought they might have to bag her.  The nurses who were working on her smelled the guy and asked him to step outside and to not come back in with his jacket on.  He left and DD immediately improved.  It was amazing the change in her.  He didn't come back for a while, but as soon as he did, DD crashed hard again - even though he left his jacket outside.  He still REEKED and the nurses were really upset.  It was clear that he was causing DD's problems ... she hadn't had episodes in days before this happened.  They finally told him he was endangering the babies in the NICU by being there and he had to leave. 

The doctors and nurses all told us to tell anyone who had a problem with the restrictions we placed that they were doctor's orders.  The said blame them all we want ... it is worth it to keep DD safe.  So we did that.  Just tell her that your LO's lungs are very fragile and even though you're home, their are things you have to do to ensure your LO doesn't have to be readmitted to the hospital.  Lung problems can be life threatening and it is just too risky.

Good luck!!!

 

jbl126

My MIL smokes and I made it very clear to her that I would appreciate her not smoking on the way over to my house.  So far so good.  I would be able to smell it if she did.  And she always washes her hands before touching the girls.  I feel very strongly about this and you should make sure your "mom" is aware of how you feel.

FutureMrsCuoghi

Our NICU told us to not only have smokers wash their hands before touching the baby but also to change into a clean shirt.  DH's grandma smokes and she kept a shirt at our house that was the "baby holding" shirt.  She'd change once she got to our house and not smoke her entire visit.  We'd just throw the shirt in our laundry in between visits.  

FutureMrsCuoghi

I also forgot--the Nurses in our NICU made parents who smoked bring clean clothes to wear while with their baby.  Many mothers would just take off their shirts and wear a hospital gown while they visited.  The nurses were VERY strict about this and they had several conversations with the parents of the baby next to me about how now was a very good time to quit smoking all together.  The poor baby used to smell like cigarettes after the parents left.  The nurses finally got the "scary" doctor (he was the most firm/blunt/not such a great bedside manner) to "yell" at them and tell them they were putting their baby at greater risk for lung problems.  

TriciaJoy

ditto everyone else. HOnestly, this was where Robbie's blog came in handy. I made as many mentions of "the rules" as I could. And the rules included no smokers touching him w/o changing their clothes and washing their face and hands. My dad's girlfriend smokes as does my favorite aunt and they've been good about it.

susanc07

you're absolutely not overreacting.  MH's 2 grandmas and his BIL smoke, and they are absolutely not to hold the babies if i smell even a hint of smoke.

both of my babies had / have BPD and i'm not jeopardizing their health b/c someone didn't like the inconvenience of an extra shower and not smoking.  i don't care who gets mad.

Lavender444

My Sister and my MIL smoke. I made it very clear that they are to shower and have clean clothes before coming over and not smoke on the way. We also enforce good handwashing.

It was uncomfortable telling them, but neither of them seem to mind and do as I ask since they know it's important to keep my DS healthy.