pregnancy hormones & crying over BD

blueeyedgirl2020

Ugh! I feel like my hormones are in high gear this week- I've been crying at the tiniest thing. Usually it's something that makes me think of BD and how hurt and angry I am that he's deserting me & the baby. I just want to call him and yell and yell and yell about how immature and irresponsible he is... but I know that would be counter-productive and immature myself. He wouldn't answer the phone, anyway.

Right now my mom is my main source of support, but I don't feel like I can lean on her very much- my dad is battling cancer. He's also not speaking to me, along with my youngest sister.  I just hate the thought of going to appointments and everything alone- especially when I know the only reason BD won't go is his own pigheadedness!!! As much as I HATE him, I don't think he would be a horrible dad, and I still want him to get his *** together and step up.

I just feel like it's hopeless right now- my kid will have neither a dad nor a granddad:-(

nperez489

Sorry I'm a lurker but wanted to respond anyways!  Hang in there!  It's horrible that your BD is abandoning you.  Hopefully he comes to his senses but if not atleast your LO has you!  My FI and I are together but he has been very unattentive throughout the pregnancy.  It does make things very hard and depressing when they are the one person you really want the attention from.  My mom has been my main support thoughout this to.  Moms are the best, they are always there when nobody else is.  The best advice I can give you is try to make the most out of everything even when its hardest to.  Don't hold back on any of the fun pregnancy things just because BD isn't around.  He is the one that is missing out!  GL to you I hope things turn around!

keychain01

LovelyABR:

Sorry I'm a lurker but wanted to respond anyways!  Hang in there!  It's horrible that your BD is abandoning you.  Hopefully he comes to his senses but if not atleast your LO has you!  My FI and I are together but he has been very unattentive throughout the pregnancy.  It does make things very hard and depressing when they are the one person you really want the attention from.  My mom has been my main support thoughout this to.  Moms are the best, they are always there when nobody else is.  The best advice I can give you is try to make the most out of everything even when its hardest to.  Don't hold back on any of the fun pregnancy things just because BD isn't around.  He is the one that is missing out!  GL to you I hope things turn around!

VERY well said!!!

ChristinaMS

I wish I could post that the roller-coaster of emotions involved in this situation stops soon, but I've only recently been able to get to a point where I feel like I'll be okay without my ex in the picture. However, I can say that you aren't the only one going through a situation similar to this; and if you ever need to vent to someone who has dealt with something like you're going through, feel free to send me a PM. Sometimes it helps to just get everything out. [:

I'd like to second what PP said about enjoying as much of the pregnancy as you can! Don't let your BD being that way put a damper on all the wonderful things you have ahead of you. [: Also, as depressing as it may seem, don't cling to the blind hope that he'll come back. It took me ages to realize that I'm going to be doing this on my own, and that I'll be okay. And if you're prepared to do it and he decides he wants to be a part of yours and LO's lives, then all the better. However, sitting around waiting for our BDs to grow up is an exercise in futility. You can't force them to do something they are not willing to do, whether you can see them being a good father or not. ]:

As far as your support system goes, it isn't quite the same as having someone in real life to be there for you, but all the ladies on this board are very helpful and supportive. They also have been an inspiration to me, personally, because they're all very strong and independent women who have taken a tough situation and overcome it.

Mama_of_Four

im in the same situation! My BD doesn't want anyone to know that the baby is his! which is stupid because all his other kids look IDENTICAL to him but whatever! i just think of him as a sperm donor but there has been those times where i just sit in my room & cry my eyes out because i have to do this alone! i mean i have my family & close friends but my son will NEVER have a father to do "guy stuff" with! idk how to play sports so whos going to teach him that? but just try & keep your head up & do what you got to do for you & your LO if BD is being an a$$ den screw him!