burial grounds after d&c?

love4existence

So I thought id ask you guys,did your hospital give you information about the burial grounds for your baby's remains after your d&c?I was told the remains would be sent there and signed a paper for that but im not sure if there is an actual place i can visit and remember? what were your experiences? Also,im terrified that because by baby was never detected on ultrasound,just the yolk sac,that they might have disregarded this "tissue" in my uterus and not sent it to the burial grounds. but to me, the baby was still technically there,even if it stopped developing before 6 weeks and only the yolk sac was detected. im worried now about what theyve done with my little disspearing baby! ive been crying about that today. im thinking of getting an engraved necklace like another lady here mentioned getting,just to remind myself that this baby did exist and was real and dear to my heart,no matter how underdeveloped.

mrstyson03

Hi,

YGPM.

lynnmarie75

I'll be honest, my hospital never mentioned anything about burial, nor is it something that crossed my mind. I know the tissue was sent to pathology, from there---?

I do think the necklace is a sweet idea, and if that will make you feel better, knowing the baby is remembered in your heart and worn close to your heart- I say absolutely do it.  You need to grieve and remember whatever way is best for you.  I am so sorry for your loss and hope you heal well from the D&C and loss.

Cristine

I didn't think to ask and they didn't mention it. I think the necklace is a lovely idea. I have a plant that someone gave me the day of my D&C and taking care of it is what reminds me of the baby.

itsmevkb

Our son is buried in a cemetery close to our home.  The cemetery has an area called "Baby Land" where all the lost babies are buried.  They do a small memorial service every six weeks and all the babies lost in the prior six week period are buried together in one grave.  The grave is marked with the date of the burial.  So, my son is in the grave marked "Babies lost prior to 12/30/09."  Currently there is a wood cross marker which will eventually be taken off and there will be no marker.  My husband and I intend on purchasing a permanent marker for the site.

I'm sure if you call the hospital they will tell you where your baby is buried.  Were you at a religious hospital?  From just talking to other women I think religious hospitals tend to bury the babies (at any stage) more so than other hospitals.

I have a wonderful bracelet that I wear in rememberance of my son.  I got it from a site called My Forever Child.

Littlekicks

I really struggled with this too, but I had a hard time talking about it with my doctor.  I asked him what would happen to the remains after the D&C.  I specifically asked, "Will they end up as medical waste?"  I hated saying that.  And he said they'd be sent to pathology.  Then I asked what happened after that, and whether it would be possible to bury the baby.  He is a nice guy, and I really like him, but he said, "It technically isn't considered a baby yet."  I said, "Well, it looks like a baby on the ultrasound."  And he said - A D&C results in tissue, but not something we could really bury.

It was a terrible conversation to have to have, and I'm sorry if recounting it here has caused you any pain.

I've been trying to make myself come to terms with it.  I bought a tiny Willow Creek figure - an angel holding a baby bird in her hands.  And I've also turned to religious beliefs - I think that with such an early loss the body I was making for my future baby wasn't good enough, and now that precious spirit will wait in heaven with loved ones until the right time.  I try not to think much about the body I didn't make right, and focus on the one that will be good enough for my little angel.