Told "NO" more babies because of Pre-e

bride711

Hi Ladies, 

This is even hard to write as I am having such a hard time dealing with this. DH and I had DS 6 months ago and he is healthy and is our joy!!

We always thought of having more children but we were told we would not be able to because of my case the first time around. (Pre-E) We so badly want another child and not sure what route to take. Do we try surrogacy or adoption? Every day we are so back and forth. We feel like we are trying to make this decision which we know cant happen over night but that we need to make some type of plan to move forward. We know we want to extend our family.Its hard because I dont have a problem conceiving its a problem carrying. We are doing all the research that we can on both. Just wanted to see if there are any other ladies out there faced with this decision? We would appreciate any thoughts you may have.

Thank you!! 

dhami1

Hi. I can relate. With our DS I developed severe pre-e and postpartum cardiomyopathy. The cardiologist that consulted me in the hospital said to never get pregnant again. I was so upset. However, my high-risk OB and my subsequent cardiologist (I switched cardiologists due to some major issues with the original one) said that the research does not show anything one way or another. There is def a risk of developing pre-e again, and it could be worse, but we are taking our chances. I am def. nervous this pregnancy, but my doctors are watching me like a hawk.

It is def. an individual decision and you need to be armed with all of the data. For us, this was an easy decision. However, adoption would have also been an easy one as I was adopted. Good luck with whatever path you take.

BrainySmurfette

See another doctor, preferably an MFM about this.  I'd get a second, thrid, or fourth opinion if I was told this.  I don't know how bad things were for you or your other medical details.  However, I had a pretty bad case, developed chronic hypertension for it, and I was approved to get pg again.

ETA: Although it's not over until it's over, this pregnancy has had almost no problems after have such a rough 1st pregnancy.

mrstarawalsh

I'm sorry to hear your news. I had simmilar news given to me and we won't be able to have any more children after this baby is born. While I'm greatful for two healthy biological children we know that we will want more after DD is born. We have already discussed going the adoption/ foster route when our bio children are a bit older. I work with children in placement and we feel that since there are so many kids out there that need a good home (permanently or temporarily) that we are willing to open our hearts to them.

orthomom

I would definitely get more opinions. I have had pre-e with my first and my current pregnancies. U r more likely to have it if u had it before but it isn't a guarantee. A friend of mine had severe pre-e with HELLP syndrome and almost died. Her kidneys shut down for days...they thought she would need dialysis, but she came around. That was her first pregnancy at age 30. Two years later she had a baby girl with no problems...not even mild pre-e. So she had it almost as bad as it could be and she had another child. BTW the first child was delivered by emergency c-section at 31 weeks and was fine.  The only way she could have had it worse was if she died or had a stroke...and they still let her go ahead with another pregnancy.

Get another opinion.

alizabethy

You need to get to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist if you haven't already. 

I have a million things that complicate pregnancy - advanced maternal age, fertility problems, a clotting disorder, developed early severe pre-e with my pregnancy, insulin-dependant gestational diabetes to name a few. I was heavily monitored and was on hospital bedrest for 2 months.

After DS was born, the docs told me to wait 18 months but then go for TTC another. I was worried they'd tell me not to do it, but they were very supportive. As long as you are being monitored by a MFM specialist, they can watch you for early-pre-e and control it. They thought I'd have to deliver DS when I was 29 weeks, but with the controlled bed rest I didn't deliver until 37 weeks.

Best of luck to you! 

ginleigh

I would see another doctor...I had severe Pre-e and also HELLP syndrome, and while my second pregnancy is high risk, I was never told not to have one.  See a MFM, they will have the whole picture and can better provide guidance.  Lot's of people with Pre-e have successful pregnancies, many with no or less pre-e after!

mizzcrizz

Wow, i'm so sorry to hear this.  With my first i had full blown eclampsia, I seized and they almost lost both me and DD.  But after the fact I was never told no more kids.  We even had one more, DS. I know that has to be hard.  I will be praying for you, God bless.

JillAly

orthomom:

 A friend of mine had severe pre-e with HELLP syndrome and almost died. Her kidneys shut down for days...they thought she would need dialysis, but she came around. That was her first pregnancy at age 30. Two years later she had a baby girl with no problems...not even mild pre-e. So she had it almost as bad as it could be and she had another child. BTW the first child was delivered by emergency c-section at 31 weeks and was fine.  The only way she could have had it worse was if she died or had a stroke...and they still let her go ahead with another pregnancy.

Get another opinion.

I went through what this poster's friend had.  I had very severe pre-e and my kidneys shut down.  I spent a week in the hospital until they could get them started again and they were afraid I wouldn't survive.  It took months for my BP to return to normal and I ended up with a host of complications.  My doctor only said- "if you choose to get pregnant again, we'll do some things differently".  

However, this time, my pregnancy is completely different.  Even at age 42,  I've had no problems at all (by this time last time I already had some major problems).  I've been monitored for my BP closely and it's staying very low- 110/70.  I am scared of getting pre-e again but it's amazing how different things can be from one pregnancy to the next.  I swore I was done after my son was born but I'm so glad my DH and I decided to try again. 

Obviously, none of us know your exact medical diagnosis, but if it's solely pre-e related, definitely talk to other doctors and get other opinions. 

SamsMom91

I agree with all the PPs. I also had severe pre-e and HELLP Syndrome with my first and nearly died. My liver and kidneys were all in complete failure by the time my DS1 was delivered and it also took me quite a while to get back to feeling completely normal. I had a pretty bad case too. I actually got pregnant with DS2 while using condoms (nope, it didn't break) and FREAKED thinking I wouldn't be able to carry another pregnancy to term without having serious complications. To be perfectly honest with you, DH and I were thinking of terminating when we got pregnant with DS2. We spoke with a MFM and the OB who delivered DS1 (we had moved 3 hours away recently and I didn't have an OB in our new hometown yet) and both told me that my pregnancy with DS2 was MORE than doable and I was not going to die--they wouldn't let that happen. I was told Ihad a 20% chance of developing pre-e again and a 5% chance of getting HELLP.  Around 30 weeks pregnant with DS2, my BP started to rise and I had a little protein in my urine.  Immediately, I was put on BP meds and a modified bed rest.  I made it to my scheduled c-section date at 38 weeks, 5 days and delivered a completely healthy 11 POUND, 10 OUNCE baby.  No pre-e, no HELLP.  And no, I did not have GD, he just WAS that big!  

Get another opinion.  Pregnancy after pre-e is totally doable in most cases.  Even my MFM said in his experience (which is over 30 years and thousands of babies delivered) pre-e is generally a FIRST PREGNANCY ISSUE.   

mandii04

hi my name is mandii i got pregnant with my first son at 16 my husband was in basic for the army through the whole thing i also had pre e i was enduced at 34 weeks cause my blood pressure sky rocketed and i was having major headaches that wouldnt go away when my son was 8 months old we found out i was preg again and same thing except he was induced at 38 weeks cause same thing when he was 8 months old i was pregnant again same thing they watched me closely i made it to my 40 week app and they induced me that night cause my blood pressure during that pregnancy i was in the icu twice totalling 8 days for something having to do with my blatter and kidneys (idk) they put me on full mandatory bed rest and since we had 2 other kids and my husband couldnt just get off work for 2 weeks we had to send to boys to my MIL 8 hours away they told me i really didnt need to get preg again but 4 yrs later were expecting number 4 although they will be watching for the pre e closely this time is has gotten less severe with each pregnany i wish you all the best now im not saying go against what they say but with me it all worked out good luck

EAng

Wow...I have mild pre-e and when I asked the doctor about it, she said that it is mostly a 1st time pregnancy related complication.  Now, my doctor did have pre-e with both her pregnancies, but did not mention not having any more babies do to it!  I would get another opinion if I were you.  Good luck!

mrsschrager

I am sorry to hear the bad news but personally I would get a second opinion... with my first pregnancy I had pre e and Hellp syndrome.. I got it late 37-39 weeks and had a c section followed by a night in the icu when I was 39 weeks... I was given the ok to have another baby ( just got my bfp last night actually) but.. if I get Hellp/pre e again with this pregnancy  I was told I  should not have any more children. HTH! Good luck...